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Suspicion of this unspeakable “thing”

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So last night I was in a good mood. I had just spent 3 hours working on an assignment after watching this film for my class called “Measures of Distance” and it was basically just me giving myself therapy and writing creatively and philosophically for 3 hours. God this school is great. It’s not a school, it’s a Learning Environment. And after I was done… God, I just felt so good. So free. I stayed up for a long time, and during that time, I got this… sense? Of this thing that is not anything at all? Of this thing that doesn’t exist? It’s everywhere, it’s speaking to me, it is me, it’s puppeteering itself infinitely, it’s dancing and singing… I watch Mandy’s videos, they really really speak to me in a stranger and magical way. I think I know what she means, and others mean when they say “it” cannot be spoken, only pointed to, but what is pointed to is not it. Because it’s not logical, it’s not dimensional, it’s not anywhere… it’s This. It’s God. It’s the Tao. I understand that I don’t understand, but I feel it. No… I don’t feel it or sense it. Description is futile.


“Hello” is the closest and farthest I can get.

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