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Across the Floor


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A small black bug scurries across the hard wood floor

Interrupting a distressful moment of discerning contemplation

Blessed wave of relief

Overwhelming shame

Not enough to matter; or bother mentioning 

Across the floor

Then onto the rug making it slightly harder to see

Still

An easy kill 
House shoe

Old rolled up magazine

Hairspray and matches 

The possibilities are endless and brilliant 

Back onto the dark brown hardwood, any second now

Guiding it into to my cupped hands or onto a sheet of paper is an option 

But murder would be faster and more convenient 

Still on the rug

Imagine the terror gripping it now

A flash of memory arises 

The one where I suddenly find myself in a very unfamiliar yet recognizable space

Something isn’t right, something doesn’t belong, and I know it’s me

The color tone is off
There is an oily thickness to the atmosphere

Making the air visible like cold greasy dishwater swirling in the sink

Focusing 

Intense anticipation for the black bug to scurry across the floor again 

One more time

The last time

Instead it just sits there, staring at me, silently begging forgiveness

Or mocking me 

Can’t have bugs in the house 

What if it makes us all sick?

This one is probably okay though 

Probably
I don’t want to kill it and I really want to kill it so I do nothing  

A peaceful decision when

Desperately the black bug bolts, like lightening, off of the rug, once again scurrying across the hard wood floor 

Into the safety of my closet 

Forever lost

That’s what I get

For building my house on top of its home

Without asking

I scurry across the cold dark brown wooden floor

No destination in mind

The terror is exhilarating 

 

 

 

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