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Delicious Content Here-Made to Order


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Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoy consuming this fresh content as much as I enjoyed creating it.


You will just have to trust that I added that opening line after I actually wrote this. Which means you will also have to assume that I wrote both this sentence that you're reading right now, along with the previous sentence, after I had finished writing everything else and also after writing the opening line. I mean why would I, purposefully,  start the entire entry, or post, or whatever, with such high standards?


I have to be honest with you; I'm not even sure I trust myself anymore. I'm not sure about anything. I thought the title was slightly clever at first but I'm looking at it now and I'm noticing that isn't clever. At all. Logically, it makes no sense. It isn't really a parody of anything. At least I don't think it is. I mean I'm sure those particular words (plus and minus a word or two depending on the author's intent) have been arranged in a very similar manners before, right? Possibly in that exact same order. There's nothing special about it. If it stimulates your appetite, you are going to very disappointed. If it sparked your curiosity, or if you thought it was a little humorous, well...you're wrong. It is not even a little humorous and there is no mystery implied there to be curious about discovering.


Going to just come clean: I just made it up on the spot. After about three hours of contemplation. Oh man, it feels good to unburden. Didn't expect this much pressure for my first post. I finally get an account built after forcing my daughter to do it for me because I'm old and am trying to cultivate a good healthy fear of technology. Later this evening I'm organizing a timed emergency preparedness drill where I pretend there's a serial killer in my house. I have to find and call the nearest neighbor, by memory only, using a Windows Phone. Haven't even come close yet with that one. But you never know, right? That's why we challenge ourselves. Because you never know if today's going to be that day when that exact same scenario plays out in that exact same manner. I don't know about you but I love my children and don't want them to perish at the hands of a maniac because I couldn't figure out how to use a damn Windows phone. Or have the ability to dial a phone number from memory.


Who am I kidding, I'm not a superhero or Kevin Bacon or anything. Just a regular ol' boring dad who will more than likely be responsible for the brutal murder of his kids. Not murdered by me of course. By the serial killer, you know what, I don't think I'm using the correct classification, I think if it's someone who rushes into a home like that, screaming, waving their arms around helicopter blade style, and  stabs everyone to death really really fast, like in under a minute. I think they prefer to be called Spree Killers. I apologize if I offended anyone. Please forgive my ignorance. Also, it would probably be a good idea to go ahead and accept that same ignorance while you're at it. Trust me, it will save us all a lot of time and frustration moving forward. Okay?


Assuming you agreed, forgave, and accepted.


Still have not figured out what to write about yet. Embarrassing. This being my first post and all. I did think of a clever title though. What do you think about "Get Your Delicious Hot Content Right Here!"? Any good? Ugh, now that I'm looking at it after typing it out, I don't think I'll go with that one. I don't know. It just isn't popping out for me. I'll probably just go with something generic. Like, "Maximum Overdrive."


Man, if I can't come up with a catchy title I'm not even going to bother writing anything else. Can't seem to do much of anything right anymore. I don't know if it's my getting older or what. I can't even shop at Walmart now because of an embarrassing little incident that happened a few weeks ago. Could not believe they had me escorted out afterwards. That was a bit overkill on their part. What really burned me up though was that if I hadn't flipped the breaker when I did a lot more people would have died. They should've been thanking me but no; got all forceful instead. Guess they had to look like the big heroes. Freaking Nazi's.


Just thought of a new title! I'll go ahead and type it out now.


Not too shabby, huh? Not too shabby at all.

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