Inno Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 So I've experienced a couple of situations where intense gut-wrenching sensation appears in the stomach area and I'm wondering why. I'll briefly share both. I was invited to speak on a real estate forum and had little to no time to decide so I just said fuck it, yes. I got in touch with the moderator of the panel and discussed the the topic and potential subtopics we would get into so I had some time to prepare and think things through. My process was basically to write out what I think might be an interesting piece of information to share, so I have a certain structure to what I'm going to be talking about. I'm in the sector for 4-5 years now so nothing new in terms of info, I did not have to learn anything or whatever, just organize my thoughts about a specific subject. All good. A couple of days out and I started feeling the pressure that it is indeed happening. Before that it was just something that I knew would come, but was pretty far away. I couldn't sleep well and really started feeling a bit panicky when I imagined myself on stage with camera on me and people actively listening. As I was going up the escalator to the venue this gut-wrenching freaking terror kicked in and I honestly thought about ditching the thing for a minute. Like full-on intense terror. TLDR it went well and I was glad I did it, but lost some sleep before that and the intense feeling was NOT fun at all. Second one: I was with one of my bosses who is sort of a friend as well, having lunch yesterday after a business meeting in another city. We got served by a very cute girl and we've exchanged smiles and glances a couple of times. I wanted to approach her and imagined how such a small thing as just saying hi can potentially turn into something. I did not do anything. As we were leaving my colleague said "She was quite cute, wasn't she?" and I did not respond to that. As we got into the car driving back to the office I was feeling a lot of regret, guilt and blame that I had a great chance and I did not do anything about it. Again, familiar setup and familiar feelings. We got back and I was kind of tired of thinking I've missed something so thought "What can I do?". Decided to ring the number of the place online and ask to talk to her. TLDR - got to speak to her, got her number and are arranging to meet soon. But before the call, again, the freaking terror kicked in. I had no idea why. So in both situations I've experienced what felt like fear-insecurity-despair-unworthiness punch in the stomach and could not "find" any specific thoughts "running around" so to speak. WTF? Both events turned out great, I was happy I did both so there's that. Doing something despite the discord. But wtf, why is this happening and will I have to freaking push through discord for things I want? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 3 hours ago, Inno said: Both events turned out great, I was happy I did both so there's that. Doing something despite the discord. But wtf, why is this happening and will I have to freaking push through discord for things I want? You are happiness. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inno Posted May 23 Author Share Posted May 23 @Phil Not sure I follow. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 @Inno You are happiness which is seemingly sometimes obscured by thought which happiness is being. The “self” which could or would ‘push through discord’ is the separate self of thoughts. A thing (per thoughts) for which discord is a thing (per thoughts). Discord isn’t a revolving door or the first thirty rows of a general admission concert. ‘Pushing through it’ isn’t applicable or even possible and again is entirely on behalf of a thought self. Discord is of thoughts - how some thoughts feel. ‘Pushing through it’ - why? So you then feel better, yes? Feeling is not in a future, is it? In a way the question is, “how to not feel emotions”, isn’t it? Aversion, via thought, from the present, from feeling. To where? To what? Relax. Breathe. Co-create with the guidance, as opposed to ‘holding’ the guidance as bad, unwanted, undesirable, a problem. The ‘intense gut-wrenching’ sensation wise is this playing out bodily. By all means, go beyond your comfort zone, experience new experiences, but presently, aligned, with the guidance. 7 hours ago, Inno said: Both events turned out great, I was happy I did both so there's that. Doing something despite the discord. There’s a thought about a self which was happy, which you, happiness, presently appear as. Allow self referential thoughts to be noticed. Such as ‘the doer’. Dispel the conditioning outright. Attempt to point to the doer right now. The hindsight clarity is foresight presently. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inno Posted May 31 Author Share Posted May 31 @Phil Hey man, sorry for the late response and thanks for taking the time. Quote You are happiness which is seemingly sometimes obscured by thought which happiness is being. The “self” which could or would ‘push through discord’ is the separate self of thoughts. A thing (per thoughts) for which discord is a thing (per thoughts). If I am happiness, why doesn't it feel like so? Quote Discord isn’t a revolving door or the first thirty rows of a general admission concert. ‘Pushing through it’ isn’t applicable or even possible and again is entirely on behalf of a thought self. Discord is of thoughts - how some thoughts feel. ‘Pushing through it’ - why? So you then feel better, yes? Feeling is not in a future, is it? The part with discord being of thoughts is what doesn't quite click. Yes, sometimes it is clearly seen that a certain perspective resonates at certain emotion. However with the examples provided it does indeed seem that there is just discord and no though(s) associated with it. Pushing through discord is more for doing things I otherwise want to do, but feeling the discord kind of being in the way. In a sense doing stuff without feeling great about it kind of diminishes the experience or even makes it meaningless. Is it to feel better? Idk. Quote In a way the question is, “how to not feel emotions”, isn’t it? Aversion, via thought, from the present, from feeling. To where? To what? Question is how to feel like the happiness I supposedly am. Otherwise to nowhere and nothing. Quote Relax. Breathe. Co-create with the guidance, as opposed to ‘holding’ the guidance as bad, unwanted, undesirable, a problem. Co-creating sound very abstract tbh. Guidance in terms of emotions in the lower end of the scale is held as problematic and something to be resolved maybe, idk. So just feel into it? Nothing to do, nothing to heal, nothing to get rid of? Just feel? Quote The hindsight clarity is foresight presently. Again, no idea what you mean :D Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Posted May 31 Share Posted May 31 3 minutes ago, Inno said: If I am happiness, why doesn't it feel like so? What’s “it’” ? 6 minutes ago, Inno said: Question is how to feel like the happiness I supposedly am. Unfetter of beliefs, including self referential beliefs. 7 minutes ago, Inno said: So just feel into it? Again, what’s “it”? 7 minutes ago, Inno said: Nothing to do, nothing to heal, nothing to get rid of? What’s nothing? 10 minutes ago, Inno said: Again, no idea what you mean 😄 Questions are welcomed and dispelling. A you & meaning are presumed. Quote Mention YouTube Website Sessions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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