What is a thought?

[Dima]

On 5/3/2024 at 10:31 PM, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

 

 

 

 

 

I´m sure your advices are very useful but im going to be very specific.

 

I have an humiliation kink where I pay girls to mock me and humiliate me and take money from me. While it last I enjoy it a lot, I feel truly at the peaks of love and consciousness.

 

But when time passes and I remember those same women posting in social media I start to have the kind of thoughts I mean.

 

Is a kind of thoughts of utter complete pain, of almost annihilation, the funny thing is... I truly can not see what the thoughts are 'saying'.

 

Today I was sitting very mindful of the thoughts, I was trying to get close to that nucleus of pain, to that karmic content, trying to see what really the thought is about.

 

But I can not see it. I don´t understand why is there. There just seem to be this message of the thought of saying to me 'You are complete shit. just accept it, look at the facts, she´s mocking you. She's showing the money she took from you'.

 

Of course is completely relative, I chosed to play this game-kink with this woman, but the fact that is this kind of karmic repetitive very very sticky thought has been welded into my consciousness since I can remember.

 

I even have a theory this kind of thought ("you are shit"), does not even come from my life but past life or karmic memory. 

 

I am contemplating stopping the yoga kriya practice, is complete useless for me to have amazing trascendental states but at the end of the day I can not really destroy this thought for good.

If this kind of karmic thought would be dismantled my life would be heaven. Really, like there´s really no other problem in my life but this fucking shitty karmic thought which seems impossible to understand or dismantle. 

 

For some reason this kind of thought wants to tell me im utterly inferior and shit and is impossible to not belief it, it has a lot of 'proofs' always to make me believe it 100%. 

Destroing thought is another thought. You can't destroy thought. Who are you? 

[Phil]

On 5/3/2024 at 5:31 PM, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

Is a kind of thoughts of utter complete pain, of almost annihilation, the funny thing is... I truly can not see what the thoughts are 'saying'.

The thoughts are ‘saying’… suffering is pain.

 

On 5/3/2024 at 5:31 PM, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

Today I was sitting very mindful of the thoughts, I was trying to get close to that nucleus of pain, to that karmic content, trying to see what really the thought is about.

Suffering is of discordant thoughts. Can’t be pointed to. 

Pain is of sensation, bodily & localized. Can be pointed to. 

The thought(s) are really about suffering being pain. 

 

On 5/3/2024 at 5:31 PM, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

But I can not see it. I don´t understand why is there. There just seem to be this message of the thought of saying to me 'You are complete shit. just accept it, look at the facts, she´s mocking you. She's showing the money she took from you'.

Re-contextualization is emotional denial & suppression. The new context, emperor’s new clothes, is so an emotion isn’t felt. An ‘explaining away’. As you’re experiencing, it doesn’t actually work & something’s quite ‘off’.

 

The re-contextualization of the emotion suppressed, in addition to pain, is “karmic content”. This is conditioning re-contextualized as karma. This is not karma, this is conditioning. 

 

De-contextualization is a dispelling of a concept / conceptualization / conceptualizing, and acknowledging & allowing emotion to be felt. Actions & behaviors change accordingly, and karma is then actually experienced.  

 

Re-contextualizing is denial of emotion(s). Denial of the emotion felt & denial that the suppressed emotion is influencing behaviors & actions. 

 

Note of course the willingly paying for the consensual service, and the hindsight re-contextualization of ‘money she took from you’.  

 

On 5/3/2024 at 5:31 PM, ConsciousDreamer666 said:

Of course is completely relative, I chosed to play this game-kink with this woman, but the fact that is this kind of karmic repetitive very very sticky thought has been welded into my consciousness since I can remember.

 

I even have a theory this kind of thought ("you are shit"), does not even come from my life but past life or karmic memory. 

 

I am contemplating stopping the yoga kriya practice, is complete useless for me to have amazing trascendental states but at the end of the day I can not really destroy this thought for good.

If this kind of karmic thought would be dismantled my life would be heaven. Really, like there´s really no other problem in my life but this fucking shitty karmic thought which seems impossible to understand or dismantle. 

 

For some reason this kind of thought wants to tell me im utterly inferior and shit and is impossible to not belief it, it has a lot of 'proofs' always to make me believe it 100%. 

Yoga means unity. Stopping the yoga is perpetuating the suppression of emotion, by believing / upholding conjecture (conceptualizations & re-contextualizations). The relative, karmic repetition, sticky thought, welded, my consciousness, I can remember, past life, karmic memory, transcendental states, destroying thoughts, karmic thought, my life  and (I) understand. These are all concepts, re-contextualizations. Aversion from acknowleding & feeling (an) emotion. 

 

Inferiority, shit, humiliation, shame & embarrassment are also all concepts (re-contextualizations) in aversion from emotion. 

 

Rumination as in incessant ‘thinking’ is emotional suppression. A smokescreen of thought activity, new concepts, new re-contextualizations, new interpretations & explanations… mental busywork if you will. Two ways of pointing to what is one & the same.