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Posted

New things are unfolding. 

 

It's time for a new season to blossom. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

The ultimate most aligned routine is coming:

 

Tomorrow I will:

 

-Wake up Early

-Drink some Lemon Water

-Get on my Bicycle and have a great ride

-Take a Cold Shower when I get home

-Have a GOL shake

-Work/Study for an hour or 2

-Prepare a cup of Tea and take it with a low dose of kratom (green vein)

-Experience the awesome boost in energy/focus whilst studying and taking notes

-After a few hours have passed if the body can handle it: A calisthenics workout

-I will prepare a nice delicious meal with healthy Meat, Complex Carbs, and vegetables

-Then read a book / meditate

-Then "sleep"

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

@Phil I will, I mean...am. 

 

They smell great. did you know my last name means flowers? lol

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

@Phil Oh also, im watching your new video, I think there's a typo in the title of the video, It says "You can't become enlightened and yet you arent already" it seems like it should say instead, "You can't become enlightened and yet you are already"

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

@Phil no they cannot become the screen. The actors are what the screen is appearing as, they are not inside or outside the screen, they are the screen already

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

@Phil I relapsed on kava, but it's alright, I've been studying and being productive today anyways

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

My stomach hurts from the kava I drank. I tried to meditate but the sensations are just too uncomfortable, I can't be at peace with this!

 

I want what is to be what is not, but that's impossible. 

 

This is why I will fast for a few days. It will be a water fast, I must face the inner demons, I must walk through the desert and put all my faith in the Self. 

 

This is where hopefulness is at. It will also save a lot of money lol. 

 

 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

Thoughts arise of me not having made any progress/regression whatsoever, this is hard to swallow. 

 

Im not sure if im full of shit or if real change is occurring. I stay silent as I walk through the world and the truth destroys all doubt, yet doubt returns and tempts me. 

 

I can't meditate for more than 30 minutes without feeling uncomfortable, Ive seen monks meditate for 18 hours like its nothing. This showed me how much immaturity is still left in this experience. 

 

When the teachers speak of no-mind and equanimity it is the real deal, it's not a metaphor or some philosophical BS. 

 

The truth is that thought very much still runs the show in this experience. Im always getting lost in thoughts even during meditation. 

 

I have never had a single session where I didn't at least get lost in thought once. 

 

It seems impossible to not get lost in a thought for a whole day, and on top of that the rest of ones life, that's fucking crazy. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

All of the non dual buzz words are annoying me. 

 

Stuff like "you're already enlightened, happiness is already the case, etc.".

 

Like yea you can repeat it over and over again but the truth is you don't always feel okay. When I wake up and feel groggy and have no motivation, I don't give a fuck about non duality or any of those fantastical sayings like happiness is already the case, tell that to people who are starving to death and living in war zones. They don't give a shit that happiness is always the case. 

 

It has nothing to do with the reality of things. 

 

Im addicted to drugs with 200 dollars to my name, happiness already being the case is completely meaningless to me. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

How can there be equanimity right now? 

 

How can there be no suffering right now?

 

It's all nonsense. 

 

The truth is that enlightenment is conditional. 

 

If enlightenment was unconditional then we'd already be aware of the truth now. 

 

A fat guy eating McDonalds everyday and smoking crack has a very low chance of sustaining the unveiled reality. 

 

the truth is that diet and lifestyle are very important conditions for the awakening process. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

I find that I tend to go back and forth between enlightenment and unenlightenment and im so fucking tired of it, it's getting so old and boring. 

 

I don't wanna be a non dual missionary. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

I am excited for the fast, it's gonna be great to feel the stomach healing and alot of emotional stuff coming up and out. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

Posted

I will be leaving the forum soon. There isn't any other option right now. 

"Too many steps have been taken returning to the root and the source. Better to have been blind and deaf from the beginning! Dwelling in one's true abode, unconcerned with and without - The river flows tranquilly on and the flowers are red."

9th Ox Herding Picture

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