Love, Death, Bliss

[Orb]

Last night I opened up to my mom about my views completely and it ended up being a fruitful conversation, it felt so weird like I came out of the closet almost but I went with it and felt a Love I thought I'd forgotten. 

 

Sat down on the cushion to meditate and felt into the pure no-distance intimacy of sensation, and then a nice surprise unfolded. 💙

 

Began to notice very subtle image thoughts of sensation/Prana, and was like "oh shit that's always been a thought!". Then more and more sensation was being "freed" from the subtle image thoughts, each sensation getting closer to the "I Am". 

 

Then the subtle thought of there being a body and a face melted away and quite literally experienced a melting away of the sense of self. 

 

It was like "oh SHIIII------- (BLANK)" . 

 

An immense Love poured out, I thought of getting on the forum and telling everyone I love them and sending messages of Love to all my friends and family, I couldn't sleep all night and was just appreciating Love thoughts. 

 

The lust and sexualizing shifted instantly too. For the first time since childhood the lust faded away. 

 

Woke up this morning and focused on breathing but the sensations of withdrawal and the thought garbage was too much. Went about the usual routine and feel pretty nice, meditation was pleasant too. I find that the Essential "practice" is just letting go of reactivity and resistance. 

 

Sometimes there's a moment of letting go and the Love comes flooding in, then the next day we can try to effort our way back into the Love, even though the Love floods in when we let go, and not when we try to effort it.

 

The no-distance intimacy is still felt and always the case, it's like Love embraces all, is all. 

 

The subtle image thoughts in the background are noticed too, it's fucking mind blowing. Thought replicates or takes "snapshots" of what it thinks sensations look like and there's a subtle overlay of it in the background moment to moment. Which creates the illusion of Knowing or Familiarity. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by Orb

[Orb]

@DMT Elf nah 😄, i just went to bed.

[Phil]

♥️✊🏼

[Orb]

2 minutes ago, DMT Elf said:

@Orb Ahh, I was just checking to see if you had a real awakening and not just some weak poser bullshit. 😉

Thanks for checkin in brother 💙

[Orb]

@Phil 💙😃💙