I feel good but I am negative to other people. What should i do?

[bardh]

The question is in the title. From the comments in the forums: I understood that my reality, and relationships with other people and the knowledge of the world, are entirely in me. I knew this idea but now I certainty experience it. In turn, I feel more curiously about other people, and weirdly enough I feel much better with myself, maybe, because I know I can be the solution for everything. Also I don't care so much about my behavior as I use to and sometimes I can come out negative for others. 

 

My goals is much more obvious - and I find it harder to not do the think that I want. I don't always want good things. Nevertheless, I feel much more protective towards my goals. My feeling of a separate self's is lost naturally, most often when I am doing something that I like but it also comeback. I can also shift to direct experience when I want to but it feels much more forced and mumbo jumboi, important to point out, it still has the same effects. I feel emotions sometime but more in quick burst. I definitely know emotions are there because I can rank myself in the emotional scales and I feel the mood.

[Phil]

@bardh
 

I would look in more detail to see in what way am I being negative toward people, and then flip the script on myself, put myself in their shoes, and see what would feel better. 

[bardh]

1 hour ago, Phil said:

@bardh
 

I would look in more detail to see in what way am I being negative toward people, and then flip the script on myself, put myself in their shoes, and see what would feel better. 

I just communicate. Not thinking too much about what to say. Just like Hi, negative negative, sex talk, sex talk then again Hi, then I want, then negative talk. Smth like this.

[Phil]

@bardh

How bout a specific example? 

I’m not really sure what you’re saying there. 

[bardh]

@PhilThis is what I think the communication is about. Specific conversation would be hard to describe since it is in a different language and also very contextual. But I can try. Smth like: Did you get Roshan? I say yes. Then i get angry because i never want to get it. Then i give it to them - then i try to get them. As many as i get the more rich i get. Then the ones i dont like i sell, which is like promoter. This is the idea in my head. I genuinely cant get more descriptive. Also, worth mentioning when they get you they put you in a circle. 

 

But then when I go to the barber shop, I do the same thing. I am like did you get Roshan? I just want him to do a good haircut for me but at that moment that is the only way I know how to communicate. 

 

The same is for negativity. 

 

Its like there is a place in me were things are stuck and there the direct experience were things are moving. For me direct experience is something that is happening by itself. I sometimes am successful with making it happen but sometimes its just worse. 

 

Edited April 27, 2022 by bardh

[bardh]

There are moments when I think this is not relevant. It just the reality; there are moments were I am still directly experiencing but this kind of things is relevant. 

[Phil]

@bardh

Thanks. I’m not sure what Roshan is, but it sounds like you were angry because you didn’t want to get it. If so, it might not be related to other people, but just to that you didn’t want to get it. 

 

It might help to identify which emotion you feel when this transpires (when you get Roshan).

Might also be clarifying to pick which emotion you might be expressing, when this happens, when communicating with other people.