ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 You deserve better. And so do I. We can both do better. Be better. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I guess I got what I wanted. What I asked for. I'm right back on the path of the lone wolf. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Thank God I'm great at being alone, right? Thank God I don't need someone to go out with and distract myself partying. But make no mistakes. I am not only aware how strong and awesome I am for walking alone... I am also aware how that whole lone wolf story is kind of lame. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Nevertheless... For now, that's where I am. Alone, in a silent and empty apartment. Equally as relieved as scared. Equally as sad as I am at peace. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I am not ashamed to admit it. You were my only weakness. You were the only one that could get to my heart and hurt me. Because I loved you. Because I let to close. But now that you gone... I feel surprisingly less on edge. I don't feel like you might cross me or go behind my back. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I never trusted you, really. But now I don't even have to try anymore. You trusted me more, simply because I am more trustworthy. But you never trusted me completely, either. I don't blame you. We were both playing dirty. And of course we both think the other one played dirtier. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I tell you one thing though... The apartment is much cleaner now that you left. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 It's back to looking like no one lives here at all. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Only I can decide now whether this silence and emptiness is freedom or a prison cell. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Haha! Great! I can't listen to my EP, it's making me way too emotional. I guess it's gonna have to wait a little bit. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I love you and I am sorry. Please don't be reckless and be safe. That's what I wanted to text you. I really, really did. But I resisted. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I know it's not smart. You deserve not to be bugged by me tonight. I should give you space. I just hope you're alright. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I texted anyways. Those very same words. I could not help myself. I guess I had to clear my conscience at least a little bit. Forgive me for disturbing. I don't expect an answer. I had to let you know that care, even if you might not care at all, right now. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I am cooking, finally. I always felt like its safe at midnight. Safe enough to eat. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 After I forced some food down my throat, I'll have a nice hot shower. That should do me good. Some chill podcast about music and stuff, in the background. It's calming the nerves. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 When it starts getting a bit too bad, I do 10 push ups. Let's make it some sort of a rule, for the time being. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Already did a lot of stretching today. Will keep it up. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Food didn't taste awful, I feel a bit better now, although I did not eat much. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I find comfort in writing and reading these thoughts here. It's how I am sticking by my side and bare through this. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I am with myself in this, as much as I can. I am trying my best to take good care of myself. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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