ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 If you think this is unfolding in a linear fashion, think again. Or rather, don't. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 All of this is happening all at once. Now. Like an explosion of sheer epic awesomeness. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 The book already contains all the wisdom. It's you who must open it and read from start to finish. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 I might appear slightly less enlightened because I'm a little bit sleep deprived and overworked. But no worries, tomorrow is my off day, I'm going to rest so deep and so hard, I promise. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 I fact, I am going to rest so deep, I'm not even going to write here anything. I will not even bother trying to capture a thought. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 There is no does of deeds, thinker of thoughts, worker of works. Yet I have back pain, a slight headache and my eyes are slowly closing. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I know I promised to stay out of the journal today but a massive plot twist just happened. Me and my girlfriend almost had a spontaneous trip to Venice, but instead we got into a big fight and broke up. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 She packed her stuff and left the apartment in fury. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I'd say that no one saw that one coming, and it's sort of true, but also, it's hardly a surprise. Our relationship had an expiration date from the get go. And we both knew it. We both ended it in our minds, a hundred times already. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I also packed my shit and drove off once. But I came back the very same day. Somethings telling me, she won't be back. And even if she does come back, I doubt I'll be open for anything. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 It's better this way. It's better that she walked away, and not me. It's better that she didn't even look into my eyes at the end, or said anything. It's better that she just disappeared, out of nowhere. It will hurt less, the both of us. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Thank God there is no one there to experience a heart break. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Don't worry, I won't descend down into sorrow and madness. I shed enough tears over this relationship already. And so did she. We fought enough. We yelled enough. It was all just enough. We both needed the release. I am heart broken, yes, but I am also relieved, somehow. I think she feels the same. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 This wasn't even our biggest fight so far. Far from it. Looks like it was just the right time to end things. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 We were kind of planning to end it this summer, when her decision arrives, as she's an asylum seeker in this country. We knew she wouldn't be granted to stay here, so that more or less meant breaking up. I was going to move to Amsterdam, and she was going to go wherever she decided to go. Nothing really changes, but still, this sucks. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I doubt I can stay here much longer. If I could, I'd go today, but I can't. I must think of what's the smartest thing to do regarding my job, my finances, my EP, etc... Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 Ideally I'd stay until I release my music and receive my next pay check. And then I'm out of here. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I know I won't be able to avoid her scent and everything else that she left behind, and all the memories that we accumulated here in these two years. The silence is too loud. Emptiness surrounds me. Now I am truly all alone, again. I know I will grieve. It's only natural. But I will not torment myself over this. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 I am willing to own my part of the bullshit and admit that I am a jerk. But my part is not the whole. I am not the only jerk here. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivankiss Posted July 3 Author Share Posted July 3 It's no surprise that one of her girlfriends also broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago, and that's who's she's staying now. Way to go! Girl power! Show them nasty men they don't mean shit. Show them who's the real boss. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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