[Journal]

Today I woken before 7am.I am thinking of making a goal of having gf.I also want to find a job.

Today I need to go to doctor's and get my prescription drugs.

[Journal]

Woken up at 8:50. It's still holiday in my country so I rested whole day been playing chess and was watching YouTube videos.I have 2 big additions and those are smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. I will try to get rid of them asap.

[Journal]

Today I woke up at 9:20 and was playing chess whole day.I need to learn some skills for the market.I have to see what I want to be , what I want to do in this life.What brings most joy to me.I want to take proactive steps and not complaining.

[What is a thought?]

12 hours ago, Jane said:

There’s actually no such thing as thoughts, they simply don’t exist.

Lol , delusion.

[What is a thought?]

Thought is neurological process.

[Journal]

I want to start a journal since I can't write on actualized.org.

I've been to psychiatrist and I talked about my paranoid thoughts and she increased my haldol intake.Now I have to take it in morning and afternoon.

I have no interest in Spirituality and non duality of any sort despite having experiences of Infinity and Infinite Love.I think people here are deluded especially Phil and Mandy they are trying to project themselves as some sort of authority.Tired of their word salads I will not participate on forum.I have my own little place right here.I will write about my life and what happened without BS emotional scale and dreamboard.

I take this opportunity to practice English language because it's not my first language.Journal is open for all.

[Paranoid thoughts]

When I go to grocery store I believe everyone is watching me and have fear someone will approach me out of sudden.What should I do.

[Anything We Say is an illusion]

You are overthinking.Things are simple.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

5 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

You'd be doing the exact same thing as a pua by going to a  church you don't belong to strictly with a sexual motive.  

I agree.But there is no pre marital sex.I am ready to wait such pure girl.First I have to go to Sunday service to check are there any if not I am backing off.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

9 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

It might be that what's actually sought is control of women, so that insecurity / fear wouldn't be felt.

 

Didn't think about that.Cool insight.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

9 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Ah.  Like a predator would.  Gotcha.

They are so pure compared to hook up culture that runs rampant.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

6 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Why?  Do you know the history of how it got started?  Do you agree with their teachings?  Or you just want "untainted" women? 

I don't agree with their teachings.I just look for stage blue 💙 women.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

2 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

So the only way to make women put up with your bullshit is to brainwash and manipulate them with religion?

I am not a member of mormon church I am just considering it.

[I am going to join Mormon church]

I like how they condone all vices and are against pre marital sex.I will meet woman deserving of marriage over there.

[I am tired of enlightenment talk]

Are you too?

[Nothing I wrote on my dreamboard got manifested]

1 minute ago, Blessed2 said:

 

And how does that belief feel like?

Does it matter how it feels like,you can work with love or passion that's very top on infamous emotional scale.

1 minute ago, Blessed2 said:

 

 

If that's what I would wake up to, I don't want to wake up.

 

You will wake up to the face that you spend your best years of life believing BS and running away from Life truths into spirituality where you will gain nothing.

[Nothing I wrote on my dreamboard got manifested]

54 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Then why did you try it? To prove it was bs?

If there is no self then who is manifesting?

I believe in work to get things you want.Common sense not woo woo.One day you will wake up too.

[Nothing I wrote on my dreamboard got manifested]

11 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

How do you feel about that?

I don't feel anything only that I knew it all along it's BS.I read in your journal nothing manifested for you too.

[Nothing I wrote on my dreamboard got manifested]

10 hours ago, Reena said:

It's because there is no self. Oops Sorry.

Lol

[What is Shadow Work?]

3 minutes ago, Jonas Long said:

Mad about your dreamboard? Lol

No I am not mad he doesn't know what he is talking about for real it's all word sallads.

[What is Shadow Work?]

Phil doesn't know what he is talking about.All knowing complex.

[Nothing I wrote on my dreamboard got manifested]

Absolutely nothing.

[What sort of a boyfriend I should look for?]

I think she theorize to much.She will accept first guy who approaches her I am sure of that.

[I recognize what enlightenment is, ask me anything.]

Love is just an emotion same as every other no need to be glorified.Chill bro you just copied Phil.

[Self absorbed]

For teaching no self you are all way to self absorbed.Chose better feeling thoughts, Dreamboard and LoA nothing which has anything to do with Neo Advaita.