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Reappearing Discordant Thoughts


Devin
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Why do discordant thoughts keep reappearing, I watch them, stop believing them, it works for a bit, I go spend some time with people and I get some of the same thoughts back that I need to re unbelieve.

 

Mine are material gain/wealth/productivity/status sort of things, I get that little inkling of anxiousness in the top of my chest and get ansy, unrelaxed, sort of a tiny vibration through the body. And even observing it it takes 20 minutes or so to pass. I think about "oh the future is going to be so cool when I do this this and this, I need to do this, get this done, and then my life is complete"

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Rest, meditation, nutrition, and yoga seem to help clear it all back up for me by the way. Which I like doing those things anyway, but when you're anxious to do something else sometimes you think you like to skip those. I have to remember not to!

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I think I'm just too new to realizing the one experience thing, I too easily fall back into believing separate experiences when I'm around others. Still unconditioning, even though I was thinking about one experience several times when I was with people this weekend.

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Do things thoughts really reappear, or is the thought that they reappear newly freshly appearing itself? Is the recognition/remembrance of it appearing, the pure awareness itself being owned by thought and then being thought to "re"appear? "Remember", 😂😆🤷‍♂️Your point of power is always in the present. 

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Meditation is seeming very critical for this. 

 

I've been physically exhausting myself and it takes a lot more rest than normal to recuperate,I still get up early though with even no alarm but I'm still not fully recuperated and the exhaustion lessens my awareness, so I have to force myself to look for how I'm feeling or else I just go on like auto pilot and operate poorly, being guided by the discordant thoughts, "working hard" as Sadhguru put it in one of my favorite spiels of his.

 

It's weird but I have to do a little meditation to even realize I need rest.

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1 hour ago, Devin said:

 

Why do discordant thoughts keep reappearing, I

 

The most important thing is realization of “why do discordant thoughts keep reappearing “ is a thought itself.

"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."

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A thought

 

I thought 😁. For a long time I've thought I was detached of beliefs, but I don't think I had ever realized how integrated these beliefs were in me, I didn't even recognize they were beliefs. 

 

I feel

like I'm being pulled apart, watching myself be pulled apart between truth and belief right now, I feel grief actually, like a large part of me is dying.

 

Everything I've been going after, no longer matters, everything I envisioned has changed. It's a weird feeling. Feels free, but also scary

 

What I want now makes no sense to me really, I want so little right now looking at it the way I use to.

 

But in reality; I wanted the world before, now I want EVERYTHING!!

 

I still feel grief, like a part of me is dying, the life I envisioned, I'm trying to hang on to it and also let go

 

It has to do with my family, I'm not seeing a good way to have a life I want with them.

 

There are parts of them I want in my life and parts I don't

 

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@Devin

Think of it like you ate something that didn’t taste good but it’s what everyone eats, so you ate it. And now you have indigestion like everyone else. But you’re not satisfied with indigestion-life, life without being, so you’re willingly allowing it to come up and out. It’s gonna taste rough here & there, but barfing it up is what you’re wanting. Letting it out for good. You’re in control ultimately. If you weren’t wanting to be without the indigestion, it wouldn’t be emptying. Notice when you look around there are many many “solutions” available for this, which nearly everyone is buying, and none of which work. Feel great about where you are on your path. Check in with source when barfy… ‘should I just relax and let this go? Am I doin, non-doing - the right thing here?’. Feel what source says. 

 

4 hours ago, Devin said:

Why do discordant thoughts keep reappearing, I watch them, stop believing them, it works for a bit, I go spend some time with people and I get some of the same thoughts back that I need to re unbelieve.

It can take time. ‘Old thoughts’ can come up categorically, related to different things in life like socializing, school, work, relationships, creating, etc, even around God or nonduality. Rather than believing & unbelieving as a framing, try focusing on that category or not. In continuing to focus on a discordant category, the more clarifying insightful thoughts are like, back logged, waiting for the space to open up, where the discordant thought is. 

 

4 hours ago, Devin said:

 

Mine are material gain/wealth/productivity/status sort of things, I get that little inkling of anxiousness in the top of my chest and get ansy, unrelaxed, sort of a tiny vibration through the body. And even observing it it takes 20 minutes or so to pass. I think about "oh the future is going to be so cool when I do this this and this, I need to do this, get this done, and then my life is complete"

The “separate self” of thoughts is very very sneaky. There is even the thought, that thoughts are mine, on behalf of a separate self. So sneaky.  The thought that ‘it’ thinks, that there’s an ‘it’, a ‘thinker’ somewhere, also very sneaky. I need, do, my life, so so sneaky. “The future is going to be so cool”. Simple. Easy. Resonates. 🙂

 

To the 20 mins…  try not observing the discordant thought. You already did, and acknowledge it doesn’t feel good. Let it go because it doesn’t feel good. No need to solve or figure out. The insightful thought will pop up in the emptied space. 

 

You can of course also inspect thoughts… like ‘I need to get this done’. What’s the rush? Isn’t there always the next thing? Is there really ever a ‘done’ in experience? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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@Phil Thanks

 

I about need the one experience thing tattooed inside my eyelids

I was comparing myself to others, OTHER EXPERIENCES😑. I was tired, it just wasn't dawning on me, they were different thoughts, just initially looked very similar. I think I went through most of the emotions to finally let that one go.

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