Reality is a Sphere and I'm Here

[Blessed2]

18 hours ago, Orb said:

I just wanna eat ass and feel safe, 😩.

 

Ah, the age-old.

[Orb]

@Blessed2 

 

2 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Ah, the age-old.

Come on man, I'm just following what feels good 😳.

[Orb]

AHHHHH

 

Like a wild animal, not swayed by left and right up and down. 

Completely random, when theres pain theres pain, when theres pleasure theres pleasure. 

 

I have nothing to say! So much to say! 

 

I am the embodiment of wisdom! The SELF is not a self or anything at all its just random stillness. 

 

At first I was confused and lost, now I am confused/lost/happy/sad/loving/hating and its great!

 

Non-doing all the things desired with no issues. 

 

Life is always new and fresh its all entertaining! 

 

Oh man im gonna blow up from all this nonsensical excitement!

[Orb]

I did my taxes! Woohoo!

[Orb]

I'm a happy mess I love it. 

 

Life is changing.

 

Now pain/pleasure are no longer pulling me, I go with both. 

 

Lots of purification happening on all levels, physical, emotional, momentum-wise.

[Orb]

Time to express. 

 

Feeling globalized in an instant in meditation. There was a letting go of individuality, woah nice. 

 

What beliefs are circulating here? 

 

Emotion right now is light, not feeling dull/dense, but still not feeling pulled to create stuff. Meditated for 30 mins earlier. 

 

Expression helps and is the answer, taking it one step at a time, what is felt now is what can be expressed. We can only work with whats happening now. 

 

Right now theres a feeling of boredom and theres a dipping into contentment, instead of shooting for that love/joy, lets take it easy, all that has to be expressed is what is felt now and only now. 

 

Right now what is wanted is to just feel "okay". No need to be jumping and screaming in joy, just feeling okay with where im at. 

 

Self referential thoughts pinch the nerves a bit, will not be referring to that guy as "me". 

 

Can feel the calmness calling, pulling, the pulling is pulling no one, more like resonance. 

 

As the calmness is surrendered to, its pull becomes stronger than the pull of discordant thinking, or dis-traction.

 

Very curious thing, to see what happens when this pull is allowed. 

[Orb]

Just feeling okay right now, theres no worries or freaking out, just feeling okay, one breath at a time. 

[Orb]

Its about focusing on the "What" not "How".

 

Pointless to hear any opinions on what is wanted going wrong, total waste of time, whats magical is that it is this "split thinking" that creates the appearance that some things really are hard. Ive accomplished things that would seem crazy to people my age, no way im ever believing again that things are hard, or that I can somehow fail and end up homeless on the street lol. 

 

Feeling excited to continue studying for my course exam and get my real estate license, then I will join the brokerage, get trained, and the money comes in effortlessly. 

 

The feeling is now, it can be held into focus now, not "How" only "What", only what is wanted.

 

The belief "I cant do this" is what makes people quit, this belief is discordant and the discord is projected onto the "work" being done, I can do this! I AM doing this!

 

This is fucking profound, maybe its not obvious if some random person read this, but what was said above means that we make the rules, people say X is hard so X becomes hard. People say its rare to succeed in X so it actually becomes rare that people succeed in X. 

 

This means that the "rules" are written HERE/NOW, I am succeeding already in life, it all feels effortless now. 

 

Feeling good right now, tired and ready to wake up tomorrow and get to creating!

[Orb]

Im so excited to have a new laptop, its fucking awesome!

 

Im feeling better overall compared to a few weeks ago, its all about feeling good. 

 

I dont know how to convey this to people, its so simple yet the mind wants things to make sense. 

 

I recognized that thought arises on its own, and focus is the water that allows it to strengthen, upon realizing this I noticed the power of deliberate focus on thoughts. 

 

Meditation is key, meditation allows the mind to calm down, allowing allowing/receiving.

[Orb]

I wanna be in the vortex, havent journaled in a while, im seeing its a very important thing to do. Allows me to keep tabs on my life, desires, etc.

 

Had a DMT trip earlier today, was the most intense thing ever experienced, stronger than any other psychedelic ive tried, almost lost my cool lol. 

 

The lesson from psychedelics is always the same, its CREATE! ENJOY LIFE!

 

I wanna take psychedelics from a place of abundance/curiosity, not a place of scarcity or trying to escape life. Right now energy levels are low, I feel sedated, I wanna do a bunch of stuff. Its all about taking that first step, I think this is that step. 

 

Lets get deep, lets uncover beliefs related to things on the dreamboard, one by one, I got all day!!!

 

Cardio: Does anything come up for this? Nothing much pretty straight forward, nothing discordant around cardio, I just get on my bike and go!
 

Yoga/Stretching: Okay, dont know if that habit can be maintained, its related to the belief in my own laziness. The belief is im too lazy to do that stuff everyday, lets look into that. Am I really a lazy person? Well it feels discordant so no! I am naturally a productive person! As there is always a desire to create. 

 

Meditation: I love meditation and desire to do it everyday, but theres a belief on something difficult about it, meditation isnt supposed to be forced/difficult. I will find a way to enjoy meditation! Meditation will feel like rest!

 

Serving in the "world": I want to serve people in the world and have good relationships with them, beliefs about socializing/social anxiety/ fear of being hurt come up. What I WANT is to be connected with people, to be "out there" having fun and helping people, that is what I want! What if I am vibrating at the level of wanting to simply have fun, I can have fun with people when I am feeling "frisky" as abraham calls it. 

 

Healthier food: Some discordant thoughts coming up about this too. Beliefs about money/affordability and effort come up. Those feel discordant, they are not aligned, I simply want to feel better, whats a good way to turn it around? Well, it feels better to acknowledge I have the freedom to eat whatever food feels good to me! It feels better to acknowledge that money is infinite, and forever flowing/circulating, I have more than enough money to fund my healthy eating, and if some things must be let go of in order to buy healthy food, I will take those steps!

 

Using the emotional scale: Pretty much doing this already, what beliefs come up around it? Well beliefs about not being able to maintain emotion comes up, but no one has to maintain anything, theres no effort at all, the more we receive/allow, the easier it gets actually, I will let it get easier for me!

 

LIfting weights: Same belief about effort comes up, seems like itll take some discipline/effort, feels discordant, well lifting weights is what I want, I know itll improve my posture, heart health, confidence, etc. Its totally what I want! Only the discordant thoughts add the efforting feel to it. Lifting weights is exactly what is wanted! 

If I allow myself to do what is wanted, how can effort/discipline be involved?

 

Astronomy: I just find it interesting, nothing discordant comes up. 

 

Real Estate License: Lots of discordant thoughts coming up for this one, thoughts about effort, difficulty, fear of failure, come up. One by one, The License/Successful career is what is wanted, how can effort be involved in what is wanted when it is being attracted effortlessly? With allowing what we want with no discordant thinking involved, it only gets easier, im glad to be taking these steps right now. Difficulty, how can something be difficult if I have no experience with it? That something is difficult is a belief, there is only having experience or not, if I dont have much experience with this, then whats the point in pressuring myself to know better? Nope, from now on I will acknowledge that this stuff is easy for me, because im learning what I have to learn, one step at a time, one step is all thats needed, just step 1. With every step, I will acknowledge that this stuff is easy. Fear of Failure, the fear of failure is pointless, I have no direct experience of failing something, I dont fail, I learn, I think "difficulty" and "failure" are just discordant beliefs, has anyone ever failed? No! We only keep learning and moving up! I KNOW that these are just discordant beliefs. This life path is what is wanted, and letting it in effortlessly guarantees me riches and a life of luxury, fuck! Thats exactly what I want, I ALLOW you to take over source! This is what is wanted! A fun Real Estate Career!

 

A good dating profile: Beliefs about effort come up, but if this is what is wanted then there will be no effort. Heres the new slogan, " If it is what is wanted, then it will be easy to manifest, because it is whats wanted!".  

 

Any discordant thought about what is wanted can be let go of, not because of the content of the thoughts, but simply based on how they FEEL!

 

Cute/Awesome Girlfriend: Thoughts about worrying about maintaining a good relationship arise, thoughts about her leaving me arise, jealous thoughts arise. It only gets easier! I am manifesting this already!

 

I will allow the garbage to take itself out!

[Orb]

Why am I focusing on porn/masturbation so much? Seems like its all about putting my focus on other things. 

 

Its not about abstaining, its about focusing on something else. If im living my life, accomplishing awesome things, then porn/masturbation will be a faint memory in my life. 

 

I can write things to do in my notepad and accomplish all of those things, I will! 

 

Still feeling some resistance to doing stuff. Why? Well a belief about feeling sluggish comes up. In direct experience, is there really sluggishness? Yes. Is it enough to incapacitate me? No. 

 

Maybe the willingness to create has no connection with energy levels, maybe things can be accomplished no matter what? I think that I need a certain level of energy/focus to accomplish stuff is just a belief, the fun is in the creating of what is wanted, and the belief that certain things must be in order before is discordant. 

 

All things can be manifested regardless of energy levels, I enjoy the creating of what is wanted!

 

 

 

[Orb]

Today, I was mostly unproductive and lazy, hey it was my day off after all! The steps we take "ACTION" shape our lives, its all about the real actions we take. 

 

Each action affects my day and builds momentum. If I wake up and meditate/stretch/lift weights, and I meditate mostly throughout the day, that builds momentum towards what is wanted. 

 

In thought, there is what is wanted, in direct experience there is action as well. The thought is lined up, it is known what is wanted, all thats needed is to know align that with action, and actually do the things I want to accomplish. 

 

When I wake up first thing in the morning I often hit my nicotine vape, this sets the momentum of sluggishness/low energy throughout the day. 

 

What are things I do in my day that lead to momentum in what isnt wanted: 

 

-Porn/Masturbation

-Nicotine

-Watching too much YouTube

-Overeating

-Laying in bed all day

-Playing too much Video games

 

Good! Now what are the things I can do to shape the life that is wanted:

 

-Meditation

-Stretching

-Lifting Weights

-Studying the Real Estate Course to get my successful career started

-Reading a nice book

-Dressing up Nicely

-Purifying/Cleaning

-Developing More Financial Awareness (Budgeting)

 

Its the steps I take that shape my life. If I am treating myself like garbage how do I expect to feel like my true nature. 

 

What I am and how I treat myself are the same thing. 

[Orb]

Im feeling groggy right now as I have just woken up. This is the day where action is taken for what is wanted!

 

I thought journaling would be the easiest thing to do right now as im feeling tired and dull. 

 

I am feeling better as I express more and more on how im feeling. My stomach feels bloated from the food I ate yesterday. Its pretty clear when I overeat my stomach gets bloated and that makes it harder to take deep breaths. 

 

Im beginning to let go of things for how they feel rather than the stories they contain, all discordant things can just be let go. 

 

So, I want to start my day off with the right fun activity that will increase the momentum towards what is wanted. 

 

Thoughts of my nicotine vape are coming up, there is a strong desire to vape right now. 

 

This throat hurts from vaping so much, energy levels are lower too from it. The vaping begins the momentum of what isnt wanted. The cravings arising are the momentum still operating. 

[Orb]

Im gonna take the first step thats all that matters.

 

I ended up hitting my vape again this morning as the cravings were heavy. 

 

I think meditation whenever things get intense will help a lot. 

 

So whenever the cravings build up, I will meditate. 

 

I will first have a cup of tea/cacao to start my day on a good note. 

 

I will throw out my vape and be done with it once and for all. 

 

Right now im not feeling too good, I can take a step with each thing that is wanted and start to feel better. 

Edited June 1, 2022 by Orb

[Orb]

Took the first step with some cacao, a much better alternative to nicotine in terms of energy/mood boost. Also great for heart health!

 

Im gonna make sure I do every single thing that was typed last night, the list of wanted things!

 

With each step, the truth that life gets easier will show itself!

[Orb]

My mother wants us to move to another neighborhood thats right by the main church that she works at. This is discordant for me, or rather theres some discordant thinking around that. What are those discordant thoughts? The thought that there will be involvement in that world, she is free to create whatever reality shed like, and I will not impose what I desire on to her. 

 

There is freedom to manifest what is wanted. What is wanted is to more clearly see creation as it unfolds, thus increasing the conviction in its power. Ive seen it before in operation so it does work, but theres still some doubt, probably where im at on the emotional scale. 

 

What is wanted is to experience what is wanted, all that is wanted...is what is wanted!

 

I dont resonate with the church world because it is conditional love, and although they may act like it, they are mostly not tolerant of people who choose to live their lives the way they see fit. What is frustrating about it is that they want everyone to live the way THEY see fit, while believing that they are being ordered by some monarch in the sky, they do this in order to shift the responsibility over to a fantasy.

 

It also is simply what is not wanted...why continue partaking in things that dont resonate? 

 

No, from now on I am taking a stand as Source and saying that what is desired is what I will follow, I will follow all that I love, all that feels good to me, damn what anyone else says. From now on, no more feeling bad about not going to church!

 

Lets inspect this, why is there discord around the church stuff?

 

Well, first theres that I feel bad about not going because it seems selfish, like I am rejecting help/love from people.

 

It IS selfish! That is totally fine, nothing wrong with selfishness, Selfishness is good! It is good to be interested in what naturally is interesting for this one. 

 

When people say I am selfish, its a compliment!

 

Selfishness in putting how I feel first, in taking care of myself first, in aligning with the True Nature first. 

 

The "Tree of Life" is Selfish, all the nutrients are used by it for its own health and well being, the Tree of Life has no interest in feeding other organisms, none whatsoever. 

 

When the Tree of Life bears fruit, it is only a byproduct of it taking care of itself first! The Tree of Life is Selfish, and out of that it bears fruit for all animals to eat. 

 

The wackiest thing is to be selfish and act like you are self-less, this is delusion. Most people are like zombies, they are selfish yet they aspire to be something they are not, like if the Tree of Life attempted to give its nutrients to the animals before bearing fruit, while if it bore fruit its would be far more nourishing. 

 

The blessings we receive are born out of selfishness, it is all selfishness, the word selfishness feels true, like a force pulling inward. Feels good to be honest with myself, I am Selfish!

 

Can love/help really be rejected? 

 

The way to understand "other" is to understand "self". 

 

Can I be rejected? No, I can only be accepted, or rather...allowed! There is only allowing, we can allow the love to flow in, or resist!

 

The belief that I am rejecting love/help from people hurts because it is discordant, and this feeling of discord is then mistaken to be what this so-called rejection feels like, when its really what the THOUGHT feels like. 

 

If I dont desire to go to church or attend any groups/meetings, nothing is being rejected, only allowed. I am allowing what is wanted into the heart, in this allowing, other people may take this as "rejection" but that is their own discord, their own business to figure out. 

 

Really honestly, why am I joining the group with the executive pastor? 

 

Because there is fear of the confrontation, of being honest about what is desired and simply setting boundaries. 

 

Being 100% honest, going to group meetings with the executive pastor is not aligned with the flow, and would only be done to be polite. 

 

Source has plans for me! 

 

Its not that I dont want to go, it is that I have so many things lined up for me that are exciting and church/group is not involved in that vision. 

 

Now what about what other people will think? 

 

What will they(I) think?

 

-He rejected us!

+There is no such thing as rejection, there is only allowing, everyone is allowing into their experience, now you have been healed thought, welcome back!

-Hes weird, we dont like him!

+This is manifestation as a disguise, when I see the word "Dont" I now will always see "Allow what I want" in its place. When people dont like "me" "you" etc. They are really saying that they are allowing what they want, and that is perfectly fine. Perfectly fine that they allow what they want into their experience, and if they interpret the discord of focusing on "me" (Instead of what they desire) and saying "I dont like you!" that is fine, and that is for them to listen to. 

-How could he do this?

+Selfishness, listening to feeling, charting my own path, doing what feels right, listening to God/Love/Source.

-He isnt saved!

+No one is "saved" or "condemned". Being saved implies I was once condemned, being condemned means I was once saved. I cannot be saved because I have never been condemned, I cannot be condemned because I have never been saved from any condemnation. I AM, is the answer, I AM. I am Love, I am Source, of Source, for Source. 

-He doesnt belong!

+"Belonging" originates from once being an "Outcast". I am not an outcast, therefore there is no need to belong anywhere. I can only belong somewhere if I was once an outcast, or if there is a belief in the possibility of being an outcast in a "past" or "future". 

-How Selfish of him!

+Yes that is true, I am selfish! Selfish as in caring for myself, caring for my alignment/health/prosperity. 

-The blessings from God will leave you if you dont do this church stuff!

+If there are blessings that came, that implies at some point there were no blessings, the blessings do not "come" or "go" the blessings are not "given" or "lost". 

This moment is blessedness, I AM BLESSEDNESS. 

 

But what about the people still? 

 

+They are free to express whatever theyd like, its all just vibration. Allowing is key, when in doubt...allow! Allow expression of yourself and others! Allow others to express (Push-Out) the energy of discord, and trust that the discord is their business, and only they will figure it out!

 

The craving for porn arises!

+ Is there any such thing as craving? Nope. Craving implies someone who craves, the thought "I crave" is discordant because it isnt aligned with Source!

+There is no craving, "momentum" feels better, momentum is the energy I AM moving as it manifests, that feeling of momentum is the Proof! 

+This Momentum has nothing to do with porn/nicotine/food/etc. It is simply momentum, it is not positive or negative! 

+ Allow the momentum, feel the momentum! That momentum is feeling, align thought with that feeling of momentum! Or/Also simply focusing on sensation/breath and letting go of thoughts of un-wanted stuff, and letting the momentous energy express itself! So either align a thought of whats wanted with it, or let it express itself!

+The thought "I am craving or dealing with cravings" feels discordant and that discord is then mistaken as the "pain" coming from the so-called craving! When its coming from the discordant thought!

 

The momentum has come to rest, the momentum isnt forceful, it is simply momentum, a flow of energy cheerfully arising ready for the thought to align with it in order to proceed, if the thought is let go of, then the momentum dies into relaxation gracefully. 

 

Really starting to see transference in every discordant thought that arises. Each discordant thought has the same answer, alignment!

 

What was once mistaken as "Craving" is now seen to be Source morphing itself into all the right "places" in order to allow itself to take the "step" into initiating the full masterpiece. Source manifests as the momentous energy, then allows itself to take the full step by appearing as thoughts and aligning with that momentous energy. 

 

Okay lots of stuff clarified!

 

More discord will be cleared up, what arises will be inspected. 

 

[Orb]

I saw a girl I had a huge crush on with her boyfriend. AAAAHHHHHH 😭😭. Hurts. Didnt know she had a boyfriend!😤

 

I dont even know why it hurts so much, it was the mental image of her that I had every day, each day like a work of art, improving my craft, honing in on all the unique features of my mental image. 

 

Some things come up, first the guy shes with was an asshole to me back in college, argh! One thing I hated in school/college was that the guys who were assholes always got all the laughs and attention, I guess im a ninja, stealth is my gift. 

 

The discord was felt the moment I saw the pic of her and her boyfriend. First I compared myself to the guy, "If I gotta be like that guy to date her im fucked!". I like girls that are cool, but I dont have that cool young guy vibe 😭, I dont know how to be cool like the people my age. 

 

I just wanna live well and take care of myself, I want to manifest all the stuff thats wanted. 

 

Well, they are simply allowing what is wanted into their experience, I am not rejected whatsoever, more just jealous. 

 

I am jealous that guys can have cool girlfriends and manage to "fit in", im jealous of the fact that people my age can relate to each other easily, im jealous that people are out there having fun creating stuff. 

 

I feel hatred, bitter towards women, I totally get its irrational and im ready to let it go after feeling relief. Its just firing me up thinking about the difficulty of "fitting in" and somehow being part of a certain crowd that I dont know if I resonate with. I feel hateful for it, mad. 

 

I seek vengeance for the girls boyfriend, he mocked me in front of the whole class and everyone laughed! Fucking ridiculous, when someones being an asshole everyone laughs, shouldve thrown a shoe at him, idk lol. I want vengeance!!

 

I release this, there I lose, I cant win, cant somehow "get at" that guy or anything or be right in the end, what happened happened. I can sit in my defeat and simply bask in this discouragement. 

 

I feel relief no longer needing to be right, just discouraged. I accepted my "defeat" and feel the peace after the fire of anger/revenge has died off. 

 

Time to start blaming, I blame myself for eating so much food, I blame people who fucked with me, I blame my mother, father, I blame everyone who played a part in my so called suffering. Blaming my left shoulder right now for being tense/torn. 

 

Worried about not completing the scale, worried about getting a girlfriend, worried about money, worried about random stuff, im letting worry express itself!

 

Worried about my torn rotator cuff.

 

Doubting I can heal it, doubting everything, feeling doubtful!

 

That was too fast, feeling disappointed now. 

 

Im overwhelmed with all this bullshit, is it supposed to feel this intense?

 

I can go one step at a time, no need to dwell on it all at once, I can relax!

 

Now theres some irritation left. 

 

Now to pessimism, its all pessimistic beliefs. 

[fopylo]

@Orb Hey man seriously I really respect you for writing all of that. Mad respect bro. I respect people that are honest to the core - talking about their innermost desires (even if they might sound ugly/weird/unorthodox), just presenting themselves openly contrary to their pure image they try holding of themselves, and seeing everything with no judgement - These people inspired me to become less judgmental of what could be seen as "odd/unorthodox" about my opinions and desires.

[Orb]

@fopylo thanks! I appreciate what you said 🙂 

 

Transparency/honesty is important in this kind of stuff.

 

The more honest the better, just purifying!

Edited June 3, 2022 by Orb

[Orb]

Been on Keto for 4 whole days! 

 

Also let go of nicotine and its behind me!

 

My energy levels have increased, my hunger has also died down, I can go for hours without eating which is great. 

 

Im gonna experiment with a 22:2 Fasting Ratio or something along those lines. I find that the least amount of times I eat, the better my day is. It seems to be a ratio thing, going from more frequent meals but with less appreciation for each meal to Less Meals but each one has intense appreciation/mindfulness applied to it. 

 

My whole life is changing really fast and things are really mobilizing for me, at the same time though im taking things slow, resting when I feel like it, and just being kinder to myself. 

 

Right now ive already been fasting for 8 hours and im feeling great, feeling nice and clear. My energy levels are balanced and I no longer feel intense highs or lows with the meals I eat, although the bloated feeling from overeating still can arise, so mindfulness is key. 

 

Right now my focus is so intense that the fingers typing in the keyboard are just moving automatically, its incredible. 

 

Been doing cardio the past 2 days and im feeling better from it. I will wake up tomorrow morning and drink some water mixed with 1tbsp of Apple Cider Vinegar and some salt, then I will ride my bike and enjoy the beautiful weather! 

 

Once the momentum builds up even more, eventually I'll be riding my bike in the morning and lifting weights in the evening, all while eating during 1-2 hours of my day!

 

This keto journey has opened my eyes to the importance of feeling into what feels right when it comes to diet, and not just following the rules from the common dietitians. 

 

Nothing against carbs, i think theres healthy carbs out there, but its obvious that I function so much better on fat! God damn it I feel so excited! 

 

Think I finally unlocked the key to daily well being! Just eating less and resting in ketosis!

 

Also instead of coffee ive come to love black/green tea, these teas feel smoother and have a more gentle buzz, they still have caffeine in them so they will assist in producing more ketones and burning fat. I didnt get into keto to lose weight or look good, but to simply feel better mentally and have more energy, but ill take all the great benefits of allowing this way of life! 

 

I cant remember the time when I last typed so fast on my keyboard, im really excited! 

 

The secret key to life or LoA really cannot be explained but when remembered is so intuitive, so....natural. 

 

People may ask about LoA and how to succeed in life, but it isnt about succeeding or failing, it is just effortless but it isnt about being anything, its just effortless thats all I can say. 

 

The ease of LoA is the same ease of the bird observing a pond, waiting for the fish to plop out of the water, the moment the fish plops out the bird swoops down and catches it. The plopping of the fish and the bird swooping in to catch it are occurring simultaneously. 

 

It can be seen that there is no bird or fish, just perfection. Just the effortlessness. 

 

Im just gonna keep going with the flow! As if theres a choice! 😃