Loop Posted August 12, 2022 Share Posted August 12, 2022 Currently I am experiencing a lot of anger. Gonna express a lot of non-sense. I haven’t really talk to anyone about this before really, when I was a teenager my parents told me I was diagnosed with autism really early on as a child. This just really pissed me off of many different reasons, why are you telling me this now? Why tell me at all… Which my father thought they never should have, his reason why was spot on, I would beat myself up about it, and now here we are over a decade later. I don’t like talking about because it feels like I loose all power and now I am the one diagnosed with a mental disorder, this is just the way it was framed to me, implicitly. Why the fuck did they keep it a secret from me? I probably would have come to terms with it better if I knew when I was in elementary school… So my mother tells me “I had to push for that diagnoses” which makes me feel, Oh you just wanted a child who was disabled so you could play the role you always wanted to play as the mother with the special children, for fuck sakes. This sends me flying into a rage, I feel like a worthless piece of shit who doesn’t know how to take care of himself because my mother always flying around me trying to keep all the bad people out. Here is the thing, SHE IS THE ONE AFRAID OF PEOPLE, she taught me all the time to be afraid of people, that everyone is out to get you, so I didn’t make many friends, and now you have the audacity to get me diagnosed with autism, fucking hell. Ahhhhh, just fucking sit down stop blaming people. Take responsibility for your own thoughts. I feel like a goddam idiot. Quote Mention Ten thousand tears, One Belly Laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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