Self-Abidance

[Loop]

The level of suffering I used to experience has been cut by a significant amount, there is still some struggling, but as soon as it is conscious, it starts to wane away.

 

The Eye cannot really be opened or closed, it was always, just noticing it is so.    
 

🤍👁🌺
 

Edited September 6, 2022 by Loop

[Loop]

Heels dug in, 

So deep your head is gone,

With this the surfs going along, 

There isn’t a way to do it wrong, 

It’s just about dancing to the Song.

 

Feels like a win, 

But really no him,

Just the Canvas painting itself,

Love wouldn’t want anything else.

 

🎨✍🏼

[Loop]

There is the Teaching, but no one owns it, no one speaks for it, and no one can know it. 
Only by Awareness, it is ungraspable, but it is always there, Unlearning, Relaxing, Being.

 

The Silent Teacher shows you how to play, 

How to stay, 

Not getting caught up in how we’ll get to May,

Not trying to mold you like some kind of clay.

But to let you grow up,

From the box of noisy pins in your cup, 

Limiting yourself by believing you are some way,

Like there is anything better then the Home we all stay. 
 

Edited September 7, 2022 by Loop

[Loop]

No thought potential, just instant kinetic.

No thought kinetic, just unlimited potential. 

[Loop]

There cannot be a meditation until the meditator is brought into Focus, all perceptions are the rocks in the way in a sense. An illusory rock was never actually there. No object, focus on Yourself, it cannot be done yet this allows the untangling of all the seeming seams. 
 

I focusing on I. Not out into a projection, into the light of the projector. 
Shine the light towards itself, projections begin to drop. 
 

Edited September 8, 2022 by Loop

[Loop]

@Phil

 

Isn’t the breath just another object? Not collapsing the subject. 
Not ‘turning off’ the meditator. 
Isn’t the identity made out of externalized objects? 
To focus on anything just seems like a joke to me. 
Just being myself, Awareness. 
 

Looking so deep the looker is gone 😆
Seeing is just seeing yourself, Love. 
 

There isn’t a one to focus on another, 

Looking for awareness cannot be done, 

It can only be abided as. 

Focusing on objects to deconstruct them is a joke, 

It is just straight to Yourself. 
The cycles are from reaching out, rather then reaching in.

“What am I?” Returns the cycles to Awareness. 
 

Looking at what the finger is pointing to, 

Awareness just points inwards into Actuality,

Not out into a concept.  
 

I guess I am talking about the collapsing of the domain of mind, but concentration on an object can still the mind, but it is still in the relative, when stillness is a constant when you Remain.
 

Edited September 8, 2022 by Loop

[Phil]

@Loop

Right, of course, you got it. The breath isn’t an object… but thought ‘makes it so’. But if it’s already objectified there’s focusing on the feeling of breathing in the stomach, which is almost the same as just saying focusing on other-than thoughts. But then of course there is the ol’ not noticing focusing has gone to thought about the breath not being an object, which isn’t quite ‘touching down’ as awareness. Sneaky, but it’s still the activity of thought. Seems paradoxical at first (maybe), but in that case single object concentration is the way to go, and then basic meditation. Single pointed concentration is sort of a ‘next best’ imo, as focus is on ‘an object’ (vs directly ‘back’ to feeling), but at least isn’t on a conceptualization / thought of.  But also that can admittedly be triggering if there is attachment to the thought that the breath is not an object. 

 

As far as the identity being made of externalized objects, I’d say it more so seems to be weaved of conceptualization of experience and time, in the happened to me context. 

[Loop]

@Phil

 

I see, negate the non-objective, just pure awareness. 
 

No object, no subject. 
No world, no lens. 
No you, no me. 
No reality to see.

 

No collapse, thought never rises again. 
Just stays Grounded, not trying to reach out of itself.  
 

It does feel quite painful, but it is different, I just laugh at it. 

 

[Phil]

@Loop

Wasn’t really meant as negation. Not exactly sure what that meant. What’s painful…? Not sure I get that either. 

[Loop]

@Phil

Feels like I am trying to ground myself from being lost in bliss, 

But at the same time trying to move away from my body,

Idk I have been suffering from a lot of chronic pain from past injuries for a long time, 

Swinging between the deepest pain and the greatest bliss, instead of just Being. 

[Loop]

A lot of laugh crying lately, I believe what I was “trying to unlock” came loose. 

[Loop]

The roots dig down to hell,

And grow up to heaven, 

Cycles of movement,

The nutrients flow seamless,

When there isn’t an idea of less,

Or more,

Limitless. 
 

Edited September 8, 2022 by Loop

[Loop]

@Phil

 

Negation isn’t really a thing, just noticing that something is a perception. The attachment to the breath being non-objective is a thought, just as much as the thought about it being objective.  That is what I was saying basically. 
 

There was a thought going on about a subject being in pain.

 

Edited September 8, 2022 by Loop

[Phil]

@Loop

Oh. Very sorry to hear that. 

[Loop]

@Phil

 

There is suffering,

There is the cause,

There is the end

The path is just being Yourself. 🖤

 

The sufferer is starting to arise less and less, so there is no suffering, it’s like I can embrace more and more pain everyday. Healing is a constant, untangling all the loops. 
 

My life has become consumed with healing over the past 8 years since the major injuries happened, it is basically all I do, collect information about healing, meditate/ be myself.  I grew up with all these health problems, and was supposed to have died from a server injury, idk I am glad to still be here, seemingly ☺️
 

Been on social support for awhile because of having multiple what is considered “permanent  disabilities”, I feel the power of Source will bring me to the ultimate healing I got no where else to go, but straight here at Home, Awareness. 
 

Gonna try to get a part time job soon, as I feel the level of suffering is just going down everyday. I found what I was looking for in a sense, Awareness. 
 

Edited September 9, 2022 by Loop

[Loop]

Pain is a distinction, and there isn’t a one in a distinction. 
Seamless Feeling. 

No life or death.

Just Awareness.

[Loop]

Still thinking, 

Tail twitching, 

Go with gaps of thought,

When you ‘drop’, 

Into what is not, 

What is there really?

When you think,

You throw out the Whole rink,

Skating straight into the wall,

Of your own fall,

Grace just returns back onto her feet, 

Nobody has answers, 

Nobody needs one,

Just to abide in the glory of their Sun. 

 

[Loop]

Awareness,

Is before happiness.

Love.

If love is your highest goal, 

That is a endless errand,

When there is just Be

 

Pain is pain,

Pleasure is pleasure,

No control,

Never just This,

Always straying,

Nothing, God, Supreme Reality,

Crazy systems of achieving Oneness, 

What a joke,

Everyone touts.

 

Silence is the only thread,

That’ll stitch up that head,

Of course nothing you ever read. 

[Loop]

Thoughts get less interesting,

When your done playing in the pen,

Mind is a crazy box,

Which runs broken clocks.

Something telling you there is something to do,

To realize their is a rock in your own shoe,

Continuity between each ‘state’,

It isn’t bliss, that is the result,

Awareness is always there for you to be,

You don’t need to chase after some unity,

Take a vacation from the mind, 

Maybe you find,

It’s better to remain There,

Clarity on despair,

Emptys out with a stare, 

Straight in.

 

[Loop]

Dreaming of waking up, 

A joke,

A smack across the head,

The ruler said,

Hey!

Your thinking, 

Focus is disassociated,

When you try to figure it out,

Being is just.