What are the Pillars of Success?

[Phil]

1 hour ago, BlendingInfinite said:

It is kind of silly to now justify myself. However, I do it.

 

It were questions about your arguments to how success works. And in addition what I have experienced in this regards and what I have found out.

It’s a thread asking for suggestions. Those are some suggestions. Those aren’t arguments. 

[MazE]

On 7/20/2022 at 10:26 AM, BlendingInfinite said:

 And to say that I attracted it on is also a bit difficult, because I felt good all the time.

 

This creates the feeling that you don't really have free will, because situations can come from the outside that simply destroy everything. Even if you didn't thought in a way that attracts this situations. And often times the environment does not want that you elevate yourself in a way which could make them jealous. This is somehow triggering to people and then they start fighting you - even if you did not speak one word to them and did not do anything which affects them in any way.

 

The only thing which really affects success is extracting rules, principles and habits from direct life experience and stick to them no matter what. This seems way more easy than it actually is.

 

@Phil

 

Well i have had the same experience and reached the same conclusion. Things can go to hell pretty fast unexpectedly without you really "attracting" them. These situations can throw you way off balance. Sticking to what you know is true no matter what happens right there is how you win and save years of unnecessary suffering.

On 7/12/2022 at 8:55 PM, Orb said:

For those who've experienced the classic financial/career success (Financial Independence, Satisfaction from your work, a Sense of "Direction" with your career), what would you say are the fundamental pillars/attitudes/principles for success?

I haven't experienced that yet. The no brainer answer is to put the work in day in and day out consistently.

[BlendingInfinite]

On 7/22/2022 at 1:09 AM, Phil said:

It’s a thread asking for suggestions. Those are some suggestions. Those aren’t arguments. 

If someone asks for suggestions, then it is obviously ok to question the suggestions given afterwards.

 

Either to see if one can really do something with them or if they are valid or to find out what is really meant if not everything is clear from the text.

 

That is common sense. I know, it is possibly unpleasant for you, if one questions what you express. But someone who makes suggestions should be able to handle it, and if the person is ligit, he or she is usually happy to respond. It is a red flag when the person you ask questions about their suggestions about life advices or similar presents questioning as inappropriate.

 

Edited July 23, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[Phil]

11 hours ago, BlendingInfinite said:

If someone asks for suggestions, then it is obviously ok to question the suggestions given afterwards.

The bigger picture is the forum / this thread is similar to any work place in that you could contribute.    Not in a literal word for word sense of course…  but that might sound like… from the financial success, satisfaction with my work, and or a sense of direction with my career that I’ve experienced… I’ve found x, y or z to to be a fundamental pillar, attitude or principle. 

11 hours ago, BlendingInfinite said:

Either to see if one can really do something with them or if they are valid or to find out what is really meant if not everything is clear from the text. 

That is common sense. I know, it is possibly unpleasant for you, if one questions what you express. But someone who makes suggestions should be able to handle it, and if the person is ligit, he or she is usually happy to respond. It is a red flag when the person you ask questions about their suggestions about life advices or similar presents questioning as inappropriate.

When you say unpleasant for me do you mean ‘for one’, or are you talking about me specially? What is it you’re thinking is unpleasant?

What from my post on this thread isn’t clear / what specifically are you questioning? 

 

[BlendingInfinite]

@Phil

Don't twist the words or make it more complicated than it really is.

 

You made some arguments (or suggestions) and I questioned them. Then you replied, that has nothing to do with the topic. Even if it did (obviously). So you want to avoid questions because you may not be able to answer them or are unsure about your "suggestions" - even though you, like everyone else, have responsibilities by making suggestions or giving advice about life decisions.

 

So it's uncomfortable for you. Now you want to twist every word and make it seem like I have a problem with myself so it's not about what you say anymore, so you don't have to answer questions about it or respond to it when someone questions something.

 

Now this has become an unnecessary discussion instead of simply responding when someone questions things. And this often includes the experiences of others, which partly contradict what you are saying.

 

What I also find strange is that this topic was kicked out of the forum index shortly after.

 

Edited July 24, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[Phil]

@BlendingInfinite

If you have any specific questions about what I posted you can just quote it and ask anything you like. Also, feel free to make a new thread if a thread brings a new topic to mind. 

 

[BlendingInfinite]

22 hours ago, Phil said:

@BlendingInfinite

If you have any specific questions about what I posted you can just quote it and ask anything you like. Also, feel free to make a new thread if a thread brings a new topic to mind. 

 

I have already done that.

Edited July 25, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[Mandy]

On 7/20/2022 at 4:15 AM, BlendingInfinite said:

It is like personality traits which you have literally said are bs.

If I believe that I'm an introvert, but I really WANT to engage with people freely and have a blast doing so, letting go of the idea of myself as an introvert is helpful. If I'm renovating a house and I know my strengths and weaknesses, I know exactly what skills I want to learn, what skills I want to hire out and which I want to employ myself. See how the first example is at the expense of what I want (fun with people) and the second example is for the benefit and realization of what I want (a beautiful home)? 

 

When you read the first post by Phil, slow waaaay down. Maybe get out a pad of paper and write down what thoughts arise. Notice what thoughts come up regarding yourself, regarding Phil, and more importantly pay attention to what emotions are at play. Listen to the guidance of the emotion, saying that your focus is off, (not on what you want) rather than believing that the words you are reading are off. As long as you're making your discord about somebody, rather than about the present thought, it's gonna stick. Turn your attention to what you want, and realize that feeling better and seeing the guidance of feeling is the immediacy of it. 

[BlendingInfinite]

3 hours ago, Mandy said:

If I believe that I'm an introvert, but I really WANT to engage with people freely and have a blast doing so, letting go of the idea of myself as an introvert is helpful. If I'm renovating a house and I know my strengths and weaknesses, I know exactly what skills I want to learn, what skills I want to hire out and which I want to employ myself. See how the first example is at the expense of what I want (fun with people) and the second example is for the benefit and realization of what I want (a beautiful home)? 

 

When you read the first post by Phil, slow waaaay down. Maybe get out a pad of paper and write down what thoughts arise. Notice what thoughts come up regarding yourself, regarding Phil, and more importantly pay attention to what emotions are at play. Listen to the guidance of the emotion, saying that your focus is off, (not on what you want) rather than believing that the words you are reading are off. As long as you're making your discord about somebody, rather than about the present thought, it's gonna stick. Turn your attention to what you want, and realize that feeling better and seeing the guidance of feeling is the immediacy of it. 

This is nothing personal between me or anybody else. It is about the subject. You thinking there is a conflict or something else is believing thoughts.

[BlendingInfinite]

@MandyThe only thing I get a little bit upset is deflection, righteousness, hypocrisy etc. in general. One can exactly point these out. But in general the behaviour.

Edited August 3, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, BlendingInfinite said:

This is nothing personal between me or anybody else. 

It sure doesn't appear that you believe this from your exchanges with Phil in multiple threads lately. 

 

2 hours ago, BlendingInfinite said:

@MandyThe only thing I get a little bit upset is deflection, righteousness, hypocrisy etc. in general. One can exactly point these out. But in general the behaviour.

Ultimately the nature of thought IS hypocrisy. It's identifying as one part, while rejecting another. Red appears red because it absorbs every color BUT red. We are offended by what we reject about ourselves. The upset isn't about what you are seeing or the people involved but how you are focused. It is possible to see clearly that someone is focused negatively on an aspect of someone else which ignoring it in themselves, but in this clear seeing you would laugh or have love for them, unless it's taken as a reflection on yourself, you wouldn't feel upset in the pure observation of it. The upset is the negative emotion, which is the indicator that you are not focused on what you want.  When you are willing to tolerate that, we give other people power over us. For example if some overweight dude calls me fat, I can see clearly that he is judging flaws because he doesn't feel great about himself, he is focused on what he doesn't want. If I give him the power to make me feel bad about myself, I've actually believed his hypocritical words and I join him in focus on unwanted aspects. We are deserving of disregarding and letting go any thought that feels off, whether we thought it, or someone said it and we allowed ourselves to think it too.  That others are ever lording some sort of power or righteousness over us is not the case, that we are granting the thoughts the power to make us feel bad, is or is not in the moment. 

[BlendingInfinite]

12 hours ago, Mandy said:

It sure doesn't appear that you believe this from your exchanges with Phil in multiple threads lately. 

 

Ultimately the nature of thought IS hypocrisy. It's identifying as one part, while rejecting another. Red appears red because it absorbs every color BUT red. We are offended by what we reject about ourselves. The upset isn't about what you are seeing or the people involved but how you are focused. It is possible to see clearly that someone is focused negatively on an aspect of someone else which ignoring it in themselves, but in this clear seeing you would laugh or have love for them, unless it's taken as a reflection on yourself, you wouldn't feel upset in the pure observation of it. The upset is the negative emotion, which is the indicator that you are not focused on what you want.  When you are willing to tolerate that, we give other people power over us. For example if some overweight dude calls me fat, I can see clearly that he is judging flaws because he doesn't feel great about himself, he is focused on what he doesn't want. If I give him the power to make me feel bad about myself, I've actually believed his hypocritical words and I join him in focus on unwanted aspects. We are deserving of disregarding and letting go any thought that feels off, whether we thought it, or someone said it and we allowed ourselves to think it too.  That others are ever lording some sort of power or righteousness over us is not the case, that we are granting the thoughts the power to make us feel bad, is or is not in the moment. 

No one can cause anyone else to feel bad.

 

And just because you notice that someone is not behaving 'super', it does not always have to be the case that you are ignoring something in yourself. 

 

Sure, if you admit that you get upset, then that is quickly the reason for self-proclaimed psychologists to say that it has something to do with you. I don't ignore that I get upset and say exactly why.

 

And 'negative' is also a perspective of you and gedanken believe.

[Mandy]

12 hours ago, BlendingInfinite said:

No one can cause anyone else to feel bad.

👍

 

Honestly communicate and express how you feel, and focus on what you want and then express that. This thread isn't really an appropriate forum for doing that, and if we seek out appropriate means of expression we will get much further and feel much better rather than just metaphorically graffitiing all over the place. Start your own thread if something arises.  Have respect for the forum and the original poster and everyone here. Would you spray paint a bunch of lazy random stuff in the city park when what you really want is to be a fine artist? If you start out doing that and then wake up and realize what you want that story is a whole lot more inspiring than someone who is born into a family of artists and follow in their footsteps and also becomes an artist. Source loves transmutation and alchemy, cause it's never locked in place or identified. However if you're gonna continue to spray paint all over the city park, you're not gonna get where you want to get, you're not going to be given free art supplies, or a space in a gallery, you're just gonna get fined. 

[BlendingInfinite]

41 minutes ago, Mandy said:

👍

 

Honestly communicate and express how you feel, and focus on what you want and then express that. This thread isn't really an appropriate forum for doing that, and if we seek out appropriate means of expression we will get much further and feel much better rather than just metaphorically graffitiing all over the place. Start your own thread if something arises.  Have respect for the forum and the original poster and everyone here. Would you spray paint a bunch of lazy random stuff in the city park when what you really want is to be a fine artist? If you start out doing that and then wake up and realize what you want that story is a whole lot more inspiring than someone who is born into a family of artists and follow in their footsteps and also becomes an artist. Source loves transmutation and alchemy, cause it's never locked in place or identified. However if you're gonna continue to spray paint all over the city park, you're not gonna get where you want to get, you're not going to be given free art supplies, or a space in a gallery, you're just gonna get fined. 

You just replied again. I didn't reanimate this conversation.

 

And it was until Phil made a discussion out of it.

[BlendingInfinite]

@Mandy

If you make assumptions about me without being able to justify them, then it is obviously valid to correct them. I don't have to agree with everyone.

 

To say that what I write is garbage is as presumptuous as it is disrespectful.

I am only responding to your responses and you are making discussions out of simple things.

 

Maybe you should also rethink your behavior. It's not always the others.

 

Basically, that's how it is:

If you don't agree with certain aspects or question things or your belief system (of course for you it is not 😉 ), people deflect, blame it on you or say 'it is about something which has to do with you - I don't have to answer your quesiton' and discuss it to death. What kind of group dynamics does that remind you of?

 

After it came out that it was obvious that Phil made remarks that were not true to distract from the real thing - even though it was in-topic he took the thread out of the forum index.

 

I simply questioned a few points that had to do with 'pillars of success'.

Instead of responding, he turns it into a discussion and then calls it off-topic.

Edited August 4, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[BlendingInfinite]

@MandyYou can put it in these words, but what you are basically saying is 'you are spreading junk, stop it or I will ban you'. This is not projection. You are using using metaphors as a means to say something which sounds nice but has a not-nice message in it. This is e.g. hypocrisy.

 

Shortly after I said that self-appointed psychologists always think they can make statements about behavior. Which of course is true, you can't just make assumptions about what's going on with a person and certainly not whether they're upset etc. in a text in a forum with someone you've never met in real life.

 

Even though I didn't name you, you react aggressively. Now I could also argue that something triggers you there ; )

 

Edited August 4, 2022 by BlendingInfinite

[BlendingInfinite]

7 minutes ago, BlendingInfinite said:

@MandyYou can put it in these words, but what you are basically saying is 'you are spreading junk, stop it or I will ban you'. This is not projection. You are using using metaphors as a means to say something which sounds nice but has a not-nice message in it. This is e.g. hypocrisy.

 

Shortly after I said that self-appointed psychologists always think they can make statements about behavior. Which of course is true, you can't just make assumptions about what's going on with a person and certainly not whether they're upset etc. in a text in a forum with someone you've never met in real life.

 

Even though I didn't name you, you react aggressively. Now I could also argue that something triggers you there ; )

 

I don't think you have the authority to decide what is right or wrong, garbage or not. And obviously you don't have the ability to retrace the thread properly and seem to be manipulated or have a distorted view in the direction of your guru.

 

You can try to take it out on me and give me warning points or anything else. That still doesn't give you the authority or competence over what you are trying to teach or your assessments.

[Orb]

@BlendingInfinite I've read the posts where you mentioned your struggles. 

 

The only thing I'd suggest is just relaxing. 

 

When theres a lot of stuff going on the first thing that matters is youre just breathing.

 

Take in deep breaths in your nose and slowly out your mouth, just slow down.

 

Journal with a pen and paper, typing works for some people but writing with your hand makes you feel more engaged with each thought being written down. Writing with your hand is also proven to enhance cognitive function, you can research that if you'd like.

Edited August 4, 2022 by Orb

[BlendingInfinite]

1 hour ago, Orb said:

@BlendingInfinite I've read the posts where you mentioned your struggles. 

 

The only thing I'd suggest is just relaxing. 

 

When theres a lot of stuff going on the first thing that matters is youre just breathing.

 

Take in deep breaths in your nose and slowly out your mouth, just slow down.

 

Journal with a pen and paper, typing works for some people but writing with your hand makes you feel more engaged with each thought being written down. Writing with your hand is also proven to enhance cognitive function, you can research that if you'd like.

Are doing this on purpose? This is the thing that makes me upset. It is emotional abuse and gaslighting as well. I cannot believe I went down this road with you. 

[BlendingInfinite]

It is not about my 'struggles' which you are using as an excuse to dismiss the points I make.