fopylo Posted August 6, 2022 Author Share Posted August 6, 2022 Who the fuck am I kidding by "I need more time"? Huh?? Lmao Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 6 minutes ago, fopylo said: negative self-worth arises as vaping occurs, and as time passes.. this empty time You'll stop if/when you want to stop, more than you want to vape. That desire has to out way the desire to vape. Quote Mention You're a thought. Do you think a thought is going to occupy 'no thought'. The 'changeless' can be realized only when the ever-changing thought-flow stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 6, 2022 Author Share Posted August 6, 2022 (edited) @Faith Honestly, the vaping isn't the problem. I don't see it as such, and it doesn't bother me really. The problem is more that I bind myself from doing what I desire to do "once I have the time", and I have the time (sometimes I really have this time). On the occasions that I do have the time, I am still not doing much with it, and makes me realize that time isn't the factor for my success. Time isn't the factor for love... Damn. (I can love anytime, whether I have 'time' or not. Love = doing that thing which is fulfilling, walking on the path of fulfillment) Vaping is used for passing this empty time, forcing myself to vape, and I even don't really feel like it. But no worries, it isn't always like that. Sometimes I might be bored and do something more positive, like watch anime. Edited August 6, 2022 by fopylo Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith Posted August 6, 2022 Share Posted August 6, 2022 10 minutes ago, fopylo said: Honestly, the vaping isn't the problem Hm, I see, I guess I misinterpreted this- 1 hour ago, fopylo said: negative self-worth arises as vaping occurs Anyways, what I said applies to anything where you have 2 opposing desires. The one that is the strongest wins out. Anyways. Good luck doing what you most desire to do. It may take more focus on what you say you desire to tip the scales that direction. Quote Mention You're a thought. Do you think a thought is going to occupy 'no thought'. The 'changeless' can be realized only when the ever-changing thought-flow stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted August 7, 2022 Share Posted August 7, 2022 Take a break from doing what you're doing for you, and do stuff just for others. See what happens. Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 12, 2022 Author Share Posted August 12, 2022 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 17, 2022 Author Share Posted August 17, 2022 (edited) Today I finished the bootcamp. Today was the ceremony of the end of it. Very exciting. From now on I'm gonna be starting my actual service in the army, my job. Up until now it was mostly discipline and distance. Today marks the end of it and a celebration. I'm kinda tired now and don't feel like writing a lot now. I'll probably write more later. Just points to remember: I took it seriously The honors I received The friends The satisfaction of job the feeling of this swearing-in ceremony uncertainty Why it was a special experience people-wise, and why I'll miss it 💛 Edited August 17, 2022 by fopylo Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith Posted August 17, 2022 Share Posted August 17, 2022 @fopylo Congrats! 👏🥳💙 Quote Mention You're a thought. Do you think a thought is going to occupy 'no thought'. The 'changeless' can be realized only when the ever-changing thought-flow stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 21, 2022 Author Share Posted August 21, 2022 Ok, today marks a new start - the start of the service. After the bootcamp you get your unique beret for the unit you're going to, as well as the unit's badge. Today is the start of the training/studying of my job in this classified unit. 3.5 months of general preparation. Then about 1 month of preparation for the specific job that I will know only after the 3.5 general preparation. This will be the job I'll have for the next 2.8 years. It is very technological, which can help me later in life, in case I get stuck. Hi-tech will probably be open to me. I am excited for it Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 27, 2022 Author Share Posted August 27, 2022 So uh... ok In a day and a bit I'm turning 20.. I have lot's of mixed feelings about it... 🥺 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 27, 2022 Author Share Posted August 27, 2022 I have a habit of shooting a video for myself "turning ___" and basically wrapping up that year. My first one was "turning 17". I feel quite emotional since this year is probably the year I've gone through the most. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 28, 2022 Author Share Posted August 28, 2022 Alright, in like about 45 minutes I'll be going to record my series of "Turning 20" for myself. I'm a little nervous ngl. I just went through so much this year, so many things that I really hope to remember to include it all in those videos that I'll take. After all, it is for my future self. I also hope it won't get too dark by then, I didn't want it to come out like that. Also, today is the final chance because tomorrow I'm turning 20 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 28, 2022 Author Share Posted August 28, 2022 Just shot a few videos of about 2 hours all together concluding my year 19 experience and everything I went through. My mind is kinda rushing now and I'll give it some time to relax, but I'm very satisfied I've finally documented it all. I must say that I'm very very grateful for sooo many things that happened in my life during the time, the person I was (and became) and the people and friends I met along the way 😊😍. Excited to see what awaits for me in my 20's🙂 Tomorrow is the start of a new decade, the number 2 in my age, no longer a __teen 🥳 May God be with me May the Love be with (within) me ❤️ 💜 💖 Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 29, 2022 Author Share Posted August 29, 2022 Turned 20. Woke up pretty late today (12:30), and I haven't been doing anything besides scrolling on my phone. I don't know what to do and I'm bored Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 29, 2022 Author Share Posted August 29, 2022 So I have been quite disappointed for the whole day. I've barely heard any "Happy Birthday"s from friends... It's funny how they all forget. Damn... Like, may I say even quite embarrassing... The supper that I had with my brother and divorced parents didn't make it any more exciting. I was quite apathetic all this time. However, just now my uncle (from my mother's side, with whom I don't speak much) called me to wish me a happy birthday, and then we just started talking a lot and I got strong vibes that he is lighthearted and fun to talk to. I hope to speak with him more. We spoke for an hour and eleven minutes covering topics about life, girls, family... And I was surprised to hear his wisdom as well. I thought I'm pretty wise from all this spiritual learning, but he said some wise things that were backed by experience which was nice. Now I feel good. It's strange to say that this was the peak of the day. And it's already past midnight so it's the next day... lol. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Posted August 29, 2022 Share Posted August 29, 2022 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🥳🍰🎈 Quote Mention Youtube Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 29, 2022 Author Share Posted August 29, 2022 @Mandy Thanks Mandy!!!!❤️ Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted August 29, 2022 Author Share Posted August 29, 2022 My mother gave me 400 NIS for my birthday (around 120 USD). I mean, I get it, thank you. She thought of maybe buying me a shirt, but the sad part is that she was telling me in the restaurant "I'll give you the money later". As if I cared about it and as if I expected it. It's kinda sad, because she is also working hard for that money and I don't think it is something so exciting to get... maybe even she doesn't think it's something exciting. Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted September 3, 2022 Author Share Posted September 3, 2022 Fucking hell. Hate those fucking long ass sleeps that I just do randomly in the middle of the day. Went for an intentional short nap at 18:00 hoping to wake up at 19:00-19:30. I woke up at 22:30. Fucking 22:30. Literally ruined my day... and now my night and sleep. I woke up sticky, empty stomach, and not feeling good in general. Man I don't like this shit. really Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fopylo Posted September 3, 2022 Author Share Posted September 3, 2022 I don't really know what I'm feeling. I don't even know why I am suffering now. Like wtf. This is the worst kind of suffering - not knowing why you're suffering and suffering persists. What is the problem? Quote Mention Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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