What is wrong?

[Loop]

12 minutes ago, Phil said:

Wether you believe you are or are not neutral…

…you’re still unconditional. 

Yes, just need to settle back down into my Seat.

[Mandy]

23 minutes ago, Loop said:

Making the distinction between me expressing concern and expressing loving-kindness was important, thanks 🙏🏼 

😊

23 minutes ago, Loop said:

🙏🏼 I don’t think anyone in my family understands the difference to be honest.

They feel the discord too though. 

23 minutes ago, Loop said:

There is a lot of doubt going around, everyone doubts that everyone else loves them. My sister cut contact from mainly my mother because she felt overwhelmed by the concern my mother was expressing to her instead of just letting her figure out her own life. My mom can be like a helicopter parent, or at least defiantly was like that before. 

Love feels like love. If my mom isn't thinking about me, and is thinking about her laundry, does she love me? If my mom is asleep and dreaming that she is an airplane, or the color purple in a box of crayons, does she love me? If my mom is worried about me, does she love me? If my mom is mad at me, does she love me? If my mom is appreciating my smile, does she love me? If my mom is alive, does she love me? If my mom is dead, does she love me? Yes to all, right? But also only when she is appreciating, and allowing herself that feeling of love, does she fully know, that she loves me. So we cannot concern ourselves for others, concern about whether or not they love us, we can. only. love. That's already the basis of it all. Before there were planes or crayons, or humans, or separation there was is just love. 

[Phil]

48 minutes ago, Loop said:

Yeah she does, she has always been quick to anger my entire life, it has gotten worse over the years though.

Might sound crazy but it starts getting better when it’s recognized as blame.  Then there is a freeing of the anger. 

48 minutes ago, Loop said:

 

I do like the idea of the designated speaker for when we have conversations that get heated, it does sound like it would work very well for situations where everyone has time to sit down with each other. I do think I could find a way to use this

 

48 minutes ago, Loop said:

 

but

Also sometimes blame obscures the fact that the past doesn’t dictate what we do in the present. 

48 minutes ago, Loop said:

my mother is usually freaking out when things need to get done, and everyone is usually there to help her, but she screams at them even when they are doing everything they can to help her, it just makes my heart sink. She can’t get out of her stress thoughts to see how much everyone does love and care about her, and it’s getting hard for my brothers to see that she does love them, when what they experience is the screaming. 
 

The pillow exercise also makes it clear that you don’t have to think for her or think on her behalf. That’s the beauty of the exercise, when she has the pillow you get to see that she’s capable of doing that for herself. This gives you back all of your mind space so to speak. Taking the first simplest step, like sending a text to schedule it, feels way way better than any thoughts against it. Also, of course, then it actually happens. Change happens. It feels pretty great to be the catalyst of the desire change.  You’ll also find with respect to your family that it’s infectious.

 

[Loop]

Wow, spiritual knowledge is completely worthless. It is all just about conscious expressing, which can never be wrong. 
 

What is right? 
Everyone is always striving towards, the right thing, being a good person, knowing. All it really does is close you off more from listening to others. So, once you understand, you must forget. Unlearning, and then you will be filled with Light. 
 

They feel the discord from expressing concern, everyone feels the discord of trying to be “the one who is right”. It feels so much better to just be the Boundless Fool. 
 

Every time I sit to meditate for at least 10 - 15 minutes lately I just start bursting into laughter. Nothing is wrong, nothing ever could be. 
 

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

Love feels like love. If my mom isn't thinking about me, and is thinking about her laundry, does she love me? If my mom is asleep and dreaming that she is an airplane, or the color purple in a box of crayons, does she love me? If my mom is worried about me, does she love me? If my mom is mad at me, does she love me? If my mom is appreciating my smile, does she love me? If my mom is alive, does she love me? If my mom is dead, does she love me? Yes to all, right? But also only when she is appreciating, and allowing herself that feeling of love, does she fully know, that she loves me. So we cannot concern ourselves for others, concern about whether or not they love us, we can. only. love. That's already the basis of it all. Before there were planes or crayons, or humans, or separation there was is just love. 

Yeah I agree, it is mostly me worrying about how my siblings worry about if my mom loves them. Which is me perpetuating more worry… ahaha. I see something pretty important now, I keep doubting that they will work through it themselves, I need to believe in their abilities, let them expresses & make sure they feel heard.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Might sound crazy but it starts getting better when it’s recognized as blame.  Then there is a freeing of the anger. 

I see, I feel it.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

Also sometimes blame obscures the fact that the past doesn’t dictate what we do in the present. 

Yeah blame is usually a scapegoating of whatever you are upset about. This feels like going down the spiral though, then I just feel stuck will being angery. Which I might think I am better then my mother at not letting it bleed onto others, but that is probably not true, feelings get expressed no matter what, conscious creation is better then pretending that I don’t experience feelings that I do.

 

1 hour ago, Phil said:

The pillow exercise also makes it clear that you don’t have to think for her or think on her behalf. That’s the beauty of the exercise, when she has the pillow you get to see that she’s capable of doing that for herself. This gives you back all of your mind space so to speak. Taking the first simplest step, like sending a text to schedule it, feels way way better than any thoughts against it. Also, of course, then it actually happens. Change happens. It feels pretty great to be the catalyst of the desire change.  You’ll also find with respect to your family that it’s infectious.

 

Just trust the Love that is behind everyone’s eyes to illuminate for them. Well I’ll have to do the pillow exercise next time we all sit down together, I am sure my mom would actually end up enjoying it, and will teach my brothers about healthy expression. 
 

@Mandy @Phil Thanks appreciate you both 

[Phil]

48 minutes ago, Loop said:

This feels like going down the spiral though, then I just feel stuck will being angery

Not stuck with it though… you could use the scale, or put attention on the anger itself, without the thoughts. Notice an experience of anger arises in me, vs ‘me being angry.’ Either dispels it. 🙂 Either usually reveals an insight about how we ended up there too, and we see things a bit differently and don’t “step in the same hole”. 

 

51 minutes ago, Loop said:

not letting it bleed onto others, but that is probably not true,

Right. It sure can seem true, but it’s not like a cold.