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Paranoia and Gore


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56 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

Some thoughts or scenarios we have in our head might not be true right now, but they could be true in the future right?

 

It could always happen.

No. Thoughts or scenarios in our head are only experienced now, and never in a future. ‘The future’ is a thought that is experienced now. Notice that anything else could also happen is a thought which is equally as true, and this nullifies any point or justification of believing discordant thoughts about what might happen in a future. A future isn’t experienced. The thought is experienced. 

 

What you most want, is to feel good. Feeling peace is recognizing you don’t know (the future). Peace is Not Knowing. 

 

Though it will seem quite counter intuitive at first, the thoughts about paranoia and gore are what you want, and the evidence is, that is, what is. 

(Not paranoia & gore… thoughts about paranoia and gore). 

56 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

For example the thought of getting "falsely accused" isn't true right now, but it could always happen in the future, making it true.

 

No. What’s true is what is, what’s actual, direct experience. Being falsely accused is not happening, and that is true.  Thoughts about being falsely accused are happening, and that is true. 

56 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

I've seen it happen with my dad and uncle. It could happen to me too in the future. Just an accusation by itself, even if it's completely false and doesn't have any validity, can mess up your reputation and opportunities.

But again though, that isn’t happening. You aren’t being falsely accused. Your reputation and opportunities aren’t being messed up.

 

Use the emotional scale and start by expressing that you are experiencing the emotion of worry, and continue upwards expressing each emotion, whatever comes to mind will do just fine, but express that you are or sometimes do experience each emotion, one at a time. 

 

Download Bryon Katie’s free app called ‘The Work App’, and do ‘The Work on a Situation’. Even though it says “what was the situation” write your belief about what could happen in the future. I have the app too. If you get stuck and would like suggestions let me know. 

56 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

By "Out" you mean "Write out" right?

Oops.. yes. 

56 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

So doubt is me doubting whether I can actually get the things that are on my dreamboard?

Yes. More so in a softer sense, doubting it can happen, or doubting reality can be it, or doubting that you’re worthy of experiencing what you want to. 

 

It might be… with the paranoia, that in missing it’s the thoughts that don’t feel good, and that what the thoughts are about isn’t happening… it’s believed there must be some other reason for the suffering… what other people are thinking (about you). 

 

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8 hours ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

For me it's paranoia. It's an endless cycle. As soon as I stop being paranoid about one particular thing my mind just moves onto being paranoid about another thing. Or what happens is that it starts getting paranoid about a new thing so it forgets about how it was paranoid about something else the previous week. 

 

So my mind has practiced thinking thoughts of paranoia. How do I stop thinking "more of the same"?

We often use fancy words that add time and a self to an emotion, which skips over that the emotion is only directly experienced, you only experience the emotion now. It might help to look at paranoia as simply "fear". Fear that arises sometimes. Take a look at the emotional scale. 

emotionalscale.thumb.jpg.344ab92062bd57f19581366905bc0e7b.jpg

Expressing insecurity, the emotion up from fear on the scale may be key in the realization that you feel less than BECAUSE you experience paranoia. The concept that you are experiencing paranoia can be freeing in that you don't get lost in the specifics of the paranoia, you notice that it's paranoia. But seeing that the only actuality of the paranoia is fear, which arises at times, and doesn't at other times, is key to no longer feeling flawed or insecure because we are thinking we are "the one with paranoia". Or the paranoia may be less extreme, and may be worry. Distinguishing between actual fear and worry might be really insightful and freeing. 

 

The other key is to hone into the things you like, things that bring you pleasure and things you want to do. These are the things that we fear we will miss out on if something horrible happens to us. This is what we are afraid of missing out on IF this bad thing happens. Yet, we directly miss out on them because we aren't focused on enjoying those things in life, we are focused on what we do not want to happen. In my opinion, the best way to start with this is to write down all the frivolous, small, or what you may have previously judged as silly things you enjoy doing. Is there a friend you love but haven't contacted in forever? Is there an old music video you used to love but haven' seen in forever? Is there a food you've been wanting to try but haven't? Then make it a point to pick a few things from that list and do them everyday. Then get started on writing down bigger things, a concert you want to go to, trip you want to plan, big or small, hobby you want to start, etc. 

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"There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for what they called his “misfortune.”

“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Maybe,” said the farmer." 

https://www.newventureswest.com/real-lesson-taoist-farmer-story/

 

We never know what's going to happen and the good or bad judgement is always premature. It helps to let go of our fears of bad things happening to us when we see this in our own lives and others. Another extreme and funny example here....

 

 

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On 7/12/2022 at 3:47 PM, Phil said:

A future isn’t experienced. The thought is experienced. 

Yes. The future and past are just thoughts and imaginations in our head. But we need to be able to make predictions of the "future" in order to survive right? 

 

On 7/12/2022 at 3:47 PM, Phil said:

Download Bryon Katie’s free app called ‘The Work App’, and do ‘The Work on a Situation’. Even though it says “what was the situation” write your belief about what could happen in the future. I have the app too. If you get stuck and would like suggestions let me know. 

Thank you. I just bought the app as soon as I read this and it seems really promising. I appreciate the recommendation.

 

But, I need some help with this part. 


IMG_75055ECF67AA-1.thumb.jpeg.319dfc643bfc97187754210b4550dbb2.jpeg

 

IMG_265DDF9F9E31-1.thumb.jpeg.0b228cfa2b7de2f190e71dde6a55136f.jpeg

 

Look at how it would look if I followed that advice:

"I am willing to go to prison."

 

"I look forward to going to prison."

How in the world am I ever going to "look forward to going to prison" and be "willing to go to prison"???

Imagine you get 20 years in prison for a crime you didn't commit (like what happened to my uncle), how the hell are you ever going to look forward to that? 

 

On 7/12/2022 at 3:47 PM, Phil said:

Yes. More so in a softer sense, doubting it can happen, or doubting reality can be it, or doubting that you’re worthy of experiencing what you want to. 

So that's what the emotion "worry" stems from right? Doubting whether reality can really be what's on my dreamboard?

Quote

It might be… with the paranoia, that in missing it’s the thoughts that don’t feel good, and that what the thoughts are about isn’t happening… it’s believed there must be some other reason for the suffering… what other people are thinking (about you). 


I don't understand. Can you please elaborate? 

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On 7/12/2022 at 11:33 PM, Mandy said:

 

"There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for what they called his “misfortune.”

“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Maybe,” said the farmer." 

https://www.newventureswest.com/real-lesson-taoist-farmer-story/

 

We never know what's going to happen and the good or bad judgement is always premature. It helps to let go of our fears of bad things happening to us when we see this in our own lives and others. Another extreme and funny example here....

 

 

Thank you. I think I just have an attachment to "knowing" and certainty. Certainty is what the ego wants. 

How do I let go of "knowing" and be comfortable with uncertainty?

 

I just finished watched that video. That is so interesting. This guy is super attractive... 

On 7/12/2022 at 11:09 PM, Mandy said:

Distinguishing between actual fear and worry might be really insightful and freeing. 

I don't quite understand what the difference between fear and worry is. What is the difference? They both give the feeling of fear, right?

 

On 7/12/2022 at 11:09 PM, Mandy said:

The other key is to hone into the things you like, things that bring you pleasure and things you want to do. These are the things that we fear we will miss out on if something horrible happens to us. This is what we are afraid of missing out on IF this bad thing happens. Yet, we directly miss out on them because we aren't focused on enjoying those things in life, we are focused on what we do not want to happen. In my opinion, the best way to start with this is to write down all the frivolous, small, or what you may have previously judged as silly things you enjoy doing.

On 7/13/2022 at 1:27 AM, Phil said:

What you don’t want in your experience is paranoia & gore. 

What you are focusing on is paranoia & gore. 

 

What do you want in your experience? 

The issue is that I feel apathetic, and have completely lost interest in all the things I used to be extremely passionate about. I've been diagnosed with depression and have been put on antidepressants that only made me feel worse, so I've just been trying other things to get rid of this depression. 

 

I put stuff on a dreamboard before this apathy and depression started, so I've just been trying to pursue those things anyway; live as if I am in touch with myself even if it isn't enjoyable and I don't feel like I am in touch with myself. 

On 7/12/2022 at 11:22 PM, Mandy said:

What's your diet and caffeine use like? 

I have tried multiple diets to see if they help; paleo, autoimmune paleo (AIP), keto, carnivore. While I feel best on carnivore, nothing seems to get rid of this apathy and depression. 

 

As for caffeine, I have it extremely rarely. Maybe a few times throughout an entire year. 

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1 hour ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

Thank you. I think I just have an attachment to "knowing" and certainty. Certainty is what the ego wants. 

How do I let go of "knowing" and be comfortable with uncertainty?

Just appreciate that the distinctions between knowing and not knowing are illusory and let them fall apart. Uncertainty in life is certain. No one actually wants certainty. Alignment is what you want, not certainty. It's sorta like Christmas, you don't know what you're gonna get but you also kinda know it's gonna be good. Or exploring a beautiful area you've never been to before. You have enthusiasm and you're happy to be doing it, but you sure as heck don't know what you're going to discover and that's part of the fun. 

1 hour ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

I don't quite understand what the difference between fear and worry is. What is the difference? They both give the feeling of fear, right?

Check it out for yourself, since our concepts of emotions aren't really what they are at all and seeing what they are directly is what this is all about.

 

These are my thoughts on it though. Fear is more intense and immediate, it feels worse. If you were in a very abusive relationship, or the child of abusive parents, there would be more fear than worry. Worry is more of an attempt to focus on things we don't want in order to control everything to prevent something bad from happening in the future, or it's simply focusing on unwanted things. Of course we can also align and see through fear and we sometimes enjoy doing that in cases of extreme sports, roller coasters and horror movies, Halloween, etc. We can only live in fear so long and are strongly desire to feel better, but with worry, it's less intense and so we are more likely to delude ourselves that we are doing something good and preventative by worrying. Medical research has proven that worry itself is destructive to the body and so therefore is indeed something to worry about, which we should all just double over laughing about, but instead we just stress over how to manage our stress. 😂

 

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2 hours ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

Yes. The future and past are just thoughts and imaginations in our head. But we need to be able to make predictions of the "future" in order to survive right? 

Is it true that you are surviving because you are able to predict the future?

 

”I don’t ever want to go to prison” isn’t really the discordant belief. 

The discordant belief is “I’m going to get charged for a crime I didn’t commit and go to prison”. Do The Work App on that one. 

 

1 hour ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

The issue is that I feel apathetic, and have completely lost interest in all the things I used to be extremely passionate about.

Stating “I feel apathetic”, is similar to saying “I’m not feeling”. 

But you are Feeling, and are trying to get rid of what you’re feeling.

Trying to get rid of Yourself isn’t working and isn’t possible.

There isn’t anything wrong with You - there are beliefs that there is.

‘Getting rid of’ the beliefs is seeing that they are, beliefs (and aren’t true). 

The suffering is believing- there is something wrong with you / that the beliefs are true. 

So saying “I feel apathetic”, is similar to saying “I’m not me”. 

But you are you, and you are perfect as you are, however you are. 

 

Maybe you’re not expressing what you really think and feel - because of concern people around you will judge you for being you. 

And maybe it is missed that others feel the discord when they judge. You only feel the discord when you judge. 

 

What about, “I”m not expressing how I really feel, because I might be judged (‘persecuted’) by those around me… when really I’m just being who I am, I just Am how God made me and that’s really all there is to it. If other’s judge, they feel their judgements - not me.” 

 

 

“Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.”

― Wayne W. Dyer

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

I've been diagnosed with depression and have been put on antidepressants that only made me feel worse, so I've just been trying other things to get rid of this depression. 

Instead of trying to get rid of feeling, express. Create an expression journal, and when thoughts arise type them out. Look at the emotional scale, and express which emotion seems closest to what you’re feeling. 

 

If there is any concern about your user name being anonymous, send me a private message and I can delete this account and you can make a new one. 

1 hour ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

I put stuff on a dreamboard before this apathy and depression started, so I've just been trying to pursue those things anyway; live as if I am in touch with myself even if it isn't enjoyable and I don't feel like I am in touch with myself. 

Try the things mentioned about first. It’s ok, you have lots of time. Put the inner alignment work first. Do this from a place of self-respect. You matter. I care about how you feel, will you join me there? 

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On 7/12/2022 at 3:47 PM, Phil said:

No. Thoughts or scenarios in our head are only experienced now, and never in a future. ‘The future’ is a thought that is experienced now. Notice that anything else could also happen is a thought which is equally as true, and this nullifies any point or justification of believing discordant thoughts about what might happen in a future. A future isn’t experienced. The thought is experienced. 

 

What you most want, is to feel good. Feeling peace is recognizing you don’t know (the future). Peace is Not Knowing. 

 

Though it will seem quite counter intuitive at first, the thoughts about paranoia and gore are what you want, and the evidence is, that is, what is. 

(Not paranoia & gore… thoughts about paranoia and gore). 

@Phil 
How do I accept that I could die, go to prison for something I didn't do, lose everything in my life, at any time in the future? 

 

All of the hard work I'd be putting in everyday would be for nothing.

 

By the way, I no longer have any thoughts about gore. I can't even remember the last time I had any thoughts about gore, almost as if I forgot it existed and it left my mind. However, now that I read the word "gore", it sparked some memories of it, but it doesn't have as strong of a hold on me. If I start following this train of thought I will be worse off, so I need to distract myself from these thoughts about gore immediately. 

But my thoughts about paranoia still haven't gone away. I am still paranoid a lot.

 

On 7/14/2022 at 11:29 PM, Mandy said:

Alignment is what you want, not certainty.

@Mandy
 

What is Alignment?

 

On 7/14/2022 at 11:37 PM, Mandy said:

@DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis As for the dreamboard, why don't you start out small? Rather than writing things down there to pursue, try at first to write things on there that already make you happy to write. See the sunset, good book, discover new music, try a new food, etc. 

So my dreamboard is actually just a digital note. I don't have a dry erase board to use as a dreamboard.

 

It's supposed to be a dry erase board right? @Phil Can you please confirm?

 

On 7/15/2022 at 12:13 AM, Phil said:

So saying “I feel apathetic”, is similar to saying “I’m not me”. 

Exactly. In fact I'd wager that they're one in the same. I don't feel like I am "me". I don't feel like I have my personality. I am not as interested in the things I used to be interested in. 

 

On 7/15/2022 at 12:13 AM, Phil said:

Maybe you’re not expressing what you really think and feel - because of concern people around you will judge you for being you. 

And maybe it is missed that others feel the discord when they judge. You only feel the discord when you judge. 

 

What about, “I”m not expressing how I really feel, because I might be judged (‘persecuted’) by those around me… when really I’m just being who I am, I just Am how God made me and that’s really all there is to it. If other’s judge, they feel their judgements - not me.” 

This makes a lot of sense and I can see how this may be the case for a lot of people, but this one in particular just doesn't apply to me.

 

When I care about what people think, it's not because I fear they will judge me for being who I am, it's because I fear they will screw me over and ruin my life in some way. Just because any person close to you can screw up your life doesn't mean they will, but my mind fixates on the mere possibility. 

 

However, when I did still have my personality, before my health issues started, I didn't fully express what I wrote on my dreamboard, because I thought that most of the things I had written on my dreamboard were a distraction from Enlightenment and Emotional Mastery. Some of the things I wanted were a luxury car (which I don't really care about now), a ripped physique, a luxury mansion  – the usual Stage Orange stuff that most people in Stage Orange want. But these are distractions from Enlightenment, Health, and Emotional Mastery which is what I most wanted.

 

 

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57 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

@Phil 
How do I accept that I could die, go to prison for something I didn't do, lose everything in my life, at any time in the future? 

 

All of the hard work I'd be putting in everyday would be for nothing.

‘The Work’ is a letting go, not per se a doing to solve. 

Direct experience, the recognition the thoughts & images are happening and not what the thoughts & images are about, is key. 

57 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

By the way, I no longer have any thoughts about gore. I can't even remember the last time I had any thoughts about gore, almost as if I forgot it existed and it left my mind. However, now that I read the word "gore", it sparked some memories of it, but it doesn't have as strong of a hold on me. If I start following this train of thought I will be worse off, so I need to distract myself from these thoughts about gore immediately. 


But my thoughts about paranoia still haven't gone away. I am still paranoid a lot.

Excellent! What occurred with respect to the gore will also occur with the thoughts of false imprisonment. 

Decipher, recognize, and honor the emotions arising. If there is worry & fear, acknowledge the actual experience of this. And be careful not to overthink this. This might sound like “I am feeling worry”. “I am feeling fear”. 

Also, don’t rush this, relax. 

Don’t expect immediate results. It’s not really about results. @Mandy said it perfectly… you don’t really want certainty, you want alignment. I would add, while it may sound paradoxical now, the certainty is ‘found’ to be what is found in the aligning. 

57 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

Exactly. In fact I'd wager that they're one in the same. I don't feel like I am "me". I don't feel like I have my personality. I am not as interested in the things I used to be interested in. 

You are always the feeling yourself so to speak. And also, there is how these thoughts feel. In continuing to allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, there is less and less aversion ‘into’ the thoughts, and overtime more and more peace is felt. And again, like Mandy stated, that is what’s longed for. 

57 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

This makes a lot of sense and I can see how this may be the case for a lot of people, but this one in particular just doesn't apply to me.

 

When I care about what people think, it's not because I fear they will judge me for being who I am, it's because I fear they will screw me over and ruin my life in some way. Just because any person close to you can screw up your life doesn't mean they will, but my mind fixates on the mere possibility. 

What you are calling ‘the mere possibility’, are discordant thoughts about other people. The judgment, or, that these thoughts are judging others for what they might, but have not done, is felt, by you. It is just as ‘true’ to think or say, other might support me, encourage me, love me, or enjoy my company. Bring attention away from what people might do, to the present, to what is actual, to what you are doing now. 

57 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

However, when I did still have my personality, before my health issues started, I didn't fully express what I wrote on my dreamboard, because I thought that most of the things I had written on my dreamboard were a distraction from Enlightenment and Emotional Mastery. Some of the things I wanted were a luxury car (which I don't really care about now), a ripped physique, a luxury mansion  – the usual Stage Orange stuff that most people in Stage Orange want. But these are distractions from Enlightenment, Health, and Emotional Mastery which is what I most wanted.

 

 

Personality is not an object, and can not be lost and found. I understand the implication though, and again, it is feeling yourself which is desired. So to speak, the personality  desired is still ‘there’, and has not been lost. This is you ‘doing the work’, it is a process, and imo you are doing very well. You’re exploring ‘things’ you have not before. More & more clarity, and feeling how you want to feel, feeling of & as yourself, and more connective-ness & illumination of personality will inherently & naturally occur as well. 

 

These things & experiences which you desire are not distractions. You are a creator, you are here to create, as are we all, together. The more you express, the more discordant thought patterns arise, and are felt, and are understood, and are released. 

 

Please give a read to yesterday & today’s blog post, as it happens to be in rather perfect timing with what you’re sharing & experiencing here and might be insightful & reassuring. 

 

Enlightenment & emotional mastery are also not ‘things’, or objects, and can not be per se obtained. Analogously, if you were thirsty, you would go to the faucet. If you want to feel better, notice aversion, or, the ‘going to thoughts’ / figuring out / solving… and instead just like with the water, go more directly to feeling. 

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20 hours ago, Phil said:

‘The Work’ is a letting go, not per se a doing to solve. 

Direct experience, the recognition the thoughts & images are happening and not what the thoughts & images are about, is key. 

@Phil

 

I don't understand. A letting go of what? 

 

And isn't "letting go" also a "doing"?

 

20 hours ago, Phil said:

Excellent! What occurred with respect to the gore will also occur with the thoughts of false imprisonment. 

I really hope so. Thanks for your encouragement. 

 

20 hours ago, Phil said:

Decipher, recognize, and honor the emotions arising. If there is worry & fear, acknowledge the actual experience of this. And be careful not to overthink this. This might sound like “I am feeling worry”. “I am feeling fear”. 

Okay here is what I am thinking.

 

"I am feeling worry. I am feeling fear. I don't want to feel worry or fear. I want to feel good. I want to live the best life possible."

 

It doesn't feel like anything is clicking.

20 hours ago, Phil said:

Also, don’t rush this, relax. 

Don’t expect immediate results. It’s not really about results. @Mandy said it perfectly… you don’t really want certainty, you want alignment. I would add, while it may sound paradoxical now, the certainty is ‘found’ to be what is found in the aligning. 

If it's not about results, then what is it about? 

 

What is alignment? How do I become "aligned"? How do I do "aligning"?

 

20 hours ago, Phil said:

What you are calling ‘the mere possibility’, are discordant thoughts about other people. The judgment, or, that these thoughts are judging others for what they might, but have not done, is felt, by you. It is just as ‘true’ to think or say, other might support me, encourage me, love me, or enjoy my company. Bring attention away from what people might do, to the present, to what is actual, to what you are doing now. 

Yes you are right. They are discordant thoughts about other people. I have trust issues. I feel like I can't trust anyone. When you trust someone, whoever you are trusting always has the ability to break that trust and screw you over. 

 

How do I bring attention to the present and what I am doing now?

20 hours ago, Phil said:

Personality is not an object, and can not be lost and found. I understand the implication though, and again, it is feeling yourself which is desired. So to speak, the personality  desired is still ‘there’, and has not been lost. This is you ‘doing the work’, it is a process, and imo you are doing very well. You’re exploring ‘things’ you have not before. More & more clarity, and feeling how you want to feel, feeling of & as yourself, and more connective-ness & illumination of personality will inherently & naturally occur as well. 

 

These things & experiences which you desire are not distractions. You are a creator, you are here to create, as are we all, together. The more you express, the more discordant thought patterns arise, and are felt, and are understood, and are released. 

I can't feel any release for some reason. I just feel dead inside. 

20 hours ago, Phil said:

 

Please give a read to yesterday & today’s blog post, as it happens to be in rather perfect timing with what you’re sharing & experiencing here and might be insightful & reassuring. 

Thanks. This one right? "The Unseeable Iceberg & Expression: How It All Coming Apart - Is Actually It All Coming Together"

I've finished reading it, and I felt like I had to put a lot of effort into deciphering what you wrote, what the message is, and I still couldn't fully understand/comprehend it. Maybe I can give this off as feedback to make your writing more clearer? Usually, the easier it is to for the reader to understand, the better. 

 

Or perhaps it is clear and it's just going over my head. I don't know.  

20 hours ago, Phil said:

Enlightenment & emotional mastery are also not ‘things’, or objects, and can not be per se obtained. Analogously, if you were thirsty, you would go to the faucet. If you want to feel better, notice aversion, or, the ‘going to thoughts’ / figuring out / solving… and instead just like with the water, go more directly to feeling. 

Can you elaborate more on this analogy? I don't quite get it but I think it is leading somewhere. 

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16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

@Phil

 

I don't understand. A letting go of what? 

Conditioning, discordant beliefs, identifying as a separate self. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

And isn't "letting go" also a "doing"?

No. Think of picking up a ball, slight muscular contraction of the hand. Then of dropping a ball, release of muscular contraction / relaxation. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

I really hope so. Thanks for your encouragement. 

 

Okay here is what I am thinking.

 

"I am feeling worry. I am feeling fear. I don't want to feel worry or fear. I want to feel good. I want to live the best life possible."

Very good. Instead of aversion (I don’t want_____)… continue expressing with the next emotion on the scale. Allow anything that arises to be express freely as you do. Use your expression journal for this. 🙂

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

It doesn't feel like anything is clicking.

If it's not about results, then what is it about? 

Releasing conditioning / how you feel right now. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

What is alignment? How do I become "aligned"? How do I do "aligning"?

Allowing the letting go of discord / conditioning, by expressing, and not suppressing. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

Yes you are right. They are discordant thoughts about other people. I have trust issues. I feel like I can't trust anyone. When you trust someone, whoever you are trusting always has the ability to break that trust and screw you over. 

Good realization… keep writing about this in your journal, keep expressing. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

How do I bring attention to the present and what I am doing now?

Keep expressing (use the journal). 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

I can't feel any release for some reason. I just feel dead inside. 

Use the emotional scale to express the emotion experienced, and then the next, and the next, and so on (rather than concepts like “dead inside”). Expressing the emotions experienced is connective and relatable vs isolating & conceptual. 

16 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

Thanks. This one right? "The Unseeable Iceberg & Expression: How It All Coming Apart - Is Actually It All Coming Together"

I've finished reading it, and I felt like I had to put a lot of effort into deciphering what you wrote, what the message is, and I still couldn't fully understand/comprehend it. Maybe I can give this off as feedback to make your writing more clearer? Usually, the easier it is to for the reader to understand, the better. 

Or perhaps it is clear and it's just going over my head. I don't know.  

Can you elaborate more on this analogy? I don't quite get it but I think it is leading somewhere. 

Happy to. What specific questions do you have about it? Happy to elaborate. 🙏 

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On 7/16/2022 at 9:39 AM, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

 

@Mandy
 

What is Alignment?

You came here to love, to appreciate, to feel joy, to have fun, to express yourself, to feel deeply, so anything less than that love feels off, and is love guiding itself back to knowing itself as love. When it feels off, we know that we are out of alignment. Alignment is love never having left love, never having forgotten what it really is. You know love by how it feels and you know alignment by how it feels, it's the same thing. Alignment just points to a much broader understanding than the word love usually makes us think of. Taking a deep breath appreciating the fresh morning air is alignment. Laughing at a joke is alignment. Knowing exactly what you want to order at a restaurant is alignment. 

 

If you start a project that is interesting there might be a lot of thoughts that say that you don't know what you're doing, or aren't good enough or the project isn't a good idea or is silly, etc. The more we let go of those thoughts and instead directly focus on what we are doing, the less and less of these thoughts come and the more thoughts guiding the project or appreciating the project arise. You know the quote "the hardest part is getting started?" It's not, it's that at the start of learning something new the most doubts and discordant thoughts surface. The more adept and skilled we become the easier that thing becomes not only because we actually become adept and skilled at all but simply because we are no longer experiencing thoughts that try to sabotage what we are doing. We are aligned with what we are doing. You can also align with observing the thoughts that come up when we start something new rather than believing them. Alignment is like being in a flow state, and our best work is done in this flow state. The flow state is simply the experience of no thoughts fighting against what we are doing and what we want to do. Alignment is knowing what you want. When what you want is alignment itself you cannot possibly lose. 

 

 Youtube Channel  

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On 7/15/2022 at 12:13 AM, Phil said:

Is it true that you are surviving because you are able to predict the future?

@Phil

Yes, of course.

 

Our ability to predict the future is what keeps us alive.

 

Let's take the scenario of a bear running towards you.

 

Normally, when you see a bear running towards you, you instinctively make the prediction that if you don't run away, it will maul you and kill you.

 

Now, let's say that you don't have the ability to predict the future. When you see a bear running towards you, you will be completely unconcerned, idly sitting there while watching the bear rush towards you. Before you know it, you're dead.

On 7/18/2022 at 12:05 AM, Phil said:

Good realization… keep writing about this in your journal, keep expressing. 

I've journaled about it multiple times but I don't feel like I am getting anywhere. I am just repeating the same thoughts, or thoughts that are similar in structure, over and over again. 

How do I get out of this repetitive thought loop?

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@DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis

If you were able to predict the future you’d have know there would be a bear there and not went there. The thought that you can predict the future isn’t true. 

If you encounter a bear it’s actually best advised not to run away, but to scare the bear away. There are products made for this like bear spray & bear bells. 

https://www.fs.usda.gov/visit/know-before-you-go/bears

8 minutes ago, DefinitelyGettingOutOfThis said:

How do I get out of this repetitive thought loop?

Keep writing about it. If the thought that comes up is “I’ve written about this multiple times “, write that thought. it will get clearer and clearer that that is a thought which arises now, and that there isn’t a self in a past. There is a thought about a self in a past. Likewise there is no self in a future, there is a thought now about a self in a future. Expressive writing brings about presence - awareness aware that there are thoughts about a self, a past & a future, and you as awareness are aware of thoughts, and are never in a past or future. likewise, there is the thought about there being a self in a thought loop. You are aware of the thoughts, and thus you are not in the thoughts.

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19 hours ago, Phil said:

If you were able to predict the future you’d have know there would be a bear there and not went there. The thought that you can predict the future isn’t true. 

@Phil

Okay, perhaps I should rephrase that. If you could literally  predict the future, then you would be a multi-billionaire. Imagine knowing that buying Bitcoin in 2010 knowing it'll make you rich :classic_laugh:

 

So what I mean is, we have the ability to predict what may happen in the future. 

 

For example if you were to rob a bank, you can make the reasonable prediction that you're going to jail after committing the act. Sure, you may not know with absolute certainty, but you know that it is likely that you will go to jail.

 

19 hours ago, Phil said:

If you encounter a bear it’s actually best advised not to run away, but to scare the bear away. There are products made for this like bear spray & bear bells. 

https://www.fs.usda.gov/visit/know-before-you-go/bears

Hahaha! Just learned something new in a way I wouldn't have expected :classic_laugh: Thanks. 

 

19 hours ago, Phil said:

Keep writing about it. If the thought that comes up is “I’ve written about this multiple times “, write that thought. it will get clearer and clearer that that is a thought which arises now, and that there isn’t a self in a past. There is a thought about a self in a past. Likewise there is no self in a future, there is a thought now about a self in a future. Expressive writing brings about presence - awareness aware that there are thoughts about a self, a past & a future, and you as awareness are aware of thoughts, and are never in a past or future. likewise, there is the thought about there being a self in a thought loop. You are aware of the thoughts, and thus you are not in the thoughts.

Well yes I am aware that they are thoughts. But are thoughts always unhelpful? Thoughts about the past, self, and future, can be helpful right?

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Understanding the Law help to keep you less paranoid.  This is one of the reasons I don't regret going into law.  It's like understanding the rules of the game so to speak.  You're free to be in the US as long as you don't break the Law,  And you're even free to break the law too, but if you do there's predictable consequences that are available to every citizen to come to know in advance.  And ignorance of the Law is never an excuse either.  Law has a lot to do with power.  In fact here in the US, since we live under the Rule of Law, Law is the overarching power.  Judges are charged with enforcing the Law as it is written, and Law is written -- reason being so everyone can come to know the Law prior to taking any action.  The Courts can't punish someone without there being a written Law somewhere that can be determined by the Courts that held in advance of the conduct at issue.  Law is available for everyone to know in advance ideally, even if you have to hire a lawyer to look into it for you.  But public law libraries are available to every citizen so you can look into the Law yourself too.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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