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Emotional expression


noomii

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Is it necessary to verbally express emotions and what you experience to another person in order to let go of beliefs and emotions? 

 

I've heard from Abraham Hicks that you should not talk about what you don't want at all to avoid manifesting something you don't want. It doesn't resonate with me to think that I shouldn't talk about negative things, because I can't control every thought and sometimes I just feel like talking about things that feel like shit because it feels releasing to do that. But sometimes it can feel like you're just repeating out loud the same beliefs without actually letting go of it.

 

I feel like I have so much I want to say because there is so much being released. 

I journal everyday for myself but I have no one that I can talk to about how I feel.

 

I had a psychologist that was going to do a new assessment on me. But then I moved away and I cut the contact with them. Now I'm at the same place again but I don't feel like talking to him (seems to be the only option close to me that is cheap) and I'm going to move anyways. I also felt unsatisfied when talking to him because I felt like I didn't get everything out for some reason.

 

It would be natural to talk about how I feel if I had friends, but the reoccuring thought have been "they probably don't want to listen to how I feel."

I can ask if they want to hold space and listen to how I feel. But I have still felt a worry that maybe they don't even want to listen, which have made me often suppress my emotional expression. 

 

I want to feel free in expressing myself emotionally in relationships and not think that I should see a therapist to not be a burden for anyone.

 

I don't feel like seeing a therapist because I don't think it has been helpful to put mental diagnoses on me, it makes me think I'm a victim and adds a bunch of beliefs I would need to let go of. Maybe it can be helpful in some cases but I don't think I need it.

The only thing that makes me think I need professional support sometimes is because of suicidal thoughts.

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23 hours ago, noomii said:

Is it necessary to verbally express emotions and what you experience to another person in order to let go of beliefs and emotions? 

Necessary, no. Discordant beliefs come up and out all on their own so to speak. If talking with someone is preferred, helpful, clarifying - if ya just want to - then talk with someone. If writing is, write. If just sitting with it and allowing what is just be as is resonates, just sit and allow. If all of these and or any other manors of expression, release, clarity etc are preferred - by all means allow them. Allow any & all resources really, whatever you like. 

 

23 hours ago, noomii said:

I've heard from Abraham Hicks that you should not talk about what you don't want at all to avoid manifesting something you don't want. It doesn't resonate with me to think that I shouldn't talk about negative things, because I can't control every thought and sometimes I just feel like talking about things that feel like shit because it feels releasing to do that. But sometimes it can feel like you're just repeating out loud the same beliefs without actually letting go of it.

There are some distinctions that might be clarifying, but none precede you. So if you want to express about unwanted & wanted, avoidance & allowance, and or negative or positive things - you go right ahead. It can be very releasing. It can also be repeating beliefs and not really letting go of it. 

 

While there aren’t any ‘rules’ to the emotional scale, and it’s just a tool for you & also does not precede you - imo, express away - you simply can not ‘get it wrong’. If there’s hatred to be expressed, and that expression comes up along the lines of “I fucking hate this stupid asshole so and so for saying or doing so and so” or similar - empty both barrels - let it all out. No one’s judging, and no one knows better, or what is right or wrong, or proper or improper etc. Ime - while expression, release and the like can sometime be challenging, like a storm which does indeed always pass, all which is “lost” / let go, was discordant horseshit anyways, and all which remains is the true nature, the peace, love, joy - what was wanted all along. You really, really can’t get it wrong. 

 

 

23 hours ago, noomii said:

I feel like I have so much I want to say because there is so much being released. 

I journal everyday for myself but I have no one that I can talk to about how I feel.

That may highlight and clarify that that is wanted in your life, and this clearing out is very likely an emptying of some aspects to the contrary which have been held, and that which is wanted is indeed so related ‘they’ are one & the same. So if there hasn’t been relationships, friends, connection with family etc, and that’s wanted, and it’s clearer lately that that is wanted, it would make sense that some ‘stuff’ would come up & out. The true openness you are is in & of itself the spaciousness for whatever arises to arise, be acknowledged, and released. Even now. 🙂

 

23 hours ago, noomii said:

I had a psychologist that was going to do a new assessment on me. But then I moved away and I cut the contact with them. Now I'm at the same place again but I don't feel like talking to him (seems to be the only option close to me that is cheap) and I'm going to move anyways. I also felt unsatisfied when talking to him because I felt like I didn't get everything out for some reason.

Maybe there is a tie in between having cut contact, and this coming to mind presently. You can’t get it wrong. Then, you cut contact, and that’s ok. That’s perfectly ‘where you were at’ so to speak and that is really ok. If you’re now interested in resuming contact, perhaps because some beliefs or attachment has been ‘tapped’ and is coming up - that’s ok, also perfect, no problem. It can take ‘time’, or a little momentum, for things to work themselves out release wise. And that really is ok. 

 

23 hours ago, noomii said:

It would be natural to talk about how I feel if I had friends, but the reoccuring thought have been "they probably don't want to listen to how I feel."

I can ask if they want to hold space and listen to how I feel. But I have still felt a worry that maybe they don't even want to listen, which have made me often suppress my emotional expression. 

 

I want to feel free in expressing myself emotionally in relationships and not think that I should see a therapist to not be a burden for anyone.

 

I don't feel like seeing a therapist because I don't think it has been helpful to put mental diagnoses on me, it makes me think I'm a victim and adds a bunch of beliefs I would need to let go of. Maybe it can be helpful in some cases but I don't think I need it.

The only thing that makes me think I need professional support sometimes is because of suicidal thoughts.

It sounds like you want to have some friends. If so, honor that preference. That too can be a bit ‘murky’ at first, as some discordant beliefs come up & out. There might be sense of urgency, conflicting thoughts or uncertainty - that’s ok too. Let it be ‘seen’, acknowledged, and felt. 

 

If victim mindset feels discordant - allow that to be fully ‘seen’ as well. Again you can’t get it wrong - if you’d like to talk to the same therapist, or another, or whatever you like, and you’d like to express that you don’t want to be diagnosed as this or that - no problem - you can express that to them as well. You can allow any assistance you want to, and allowing it does not make you this or that. It doesn’t make you a victim, nor needy, nor helpless, or anything like that at all. 

 

Experiencing suicidal thoughts is ok. It’s ok for thought to explore. If you feel you’re going to act on the thoughts, if there is any concern in that regard, do google and call a hotline and talk with someone, and do so now, don’t wait or linger. 

 

Suicidal thoughts can arise just before a release. The notion of suicide is essentially that of avoidance of what is & wanting better. A better experience, to be a better person, etc, something along the lines of ‘this totally sucks’ and I don’t want to have to deal with it anymore / I want something better. Clarity lies between ‘I don’t want to live anymore’ and I don’t want to live like this anymore - and that ‘like this’, what’s concerning, worrisome, weighing you down - can be and is already being released. 

 

The weird & awesome thing is this experience, and much much more so you - are actually ok - and conditioning can deeply shape interpretation, prompting thoughts of “not good enough” - and - wanting better. Yet - as what’s coming up - comes out - is released - it’s very clearly seen the “this totally sucks” was of - conditioning. 

 

Will you share how you are feeling now? As well, anything that comes to mind you’d like to say or express? Anything at all. There is much, much love here for you. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Phil said:

@noomii

IMG_1379.thumb.jpeg.eecded4c6a7899489294b860cfa753ae.jpeg

 

 

How’s it going? 

Thanks for asking but it's not going well. I felt overwhelment and probably powerlessness by the other reply and thought I won't reply to everything today.

I feel very resistant about using the scale, I'm not sure why I make it so difficult.

I also feel a lot of overwhelment about everything I need to get done that I have avoided.

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@noomii

Sorry to hear that. If the scale is difficult, imo - don’t use it. Just sit, breathe, relax, and be with whatever is arising. Everything really is ok. You really are ok. Conditioning and or ‘the mind’, thoughts, can make it seem not so - but that is felt, and in allowing whatever is felt to be felt, there is release of discordant thoughts, beliefs & interpretations. I would put that, as in put you & your well-being - fist. 

 

There might be relief in acknowledging allowing the overwhelment to be felt might be what’s more subtly avoided. But if this sounds the least bit complicated - again, just breathe, relax and allow. 🤍

 

And feel free to share all you like here, you really really can’t get it wrong. This is your space, the openness of you. 

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On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

Necessary, no. Discordant beliefs come up and out all on their own so to speak. If talking with someone is preferred, helpful, clarifying - if ya just want to - then talk with someone. If writing is, write. If just sitting with it and allowing what is just be as is resonates, just sit and allow. If all of these and or any other manors of expression, release, clarity etc are preferred - by all means allow them. Allow any & all resources really, whatever you like. 

So writing or verbal expression is not making the emptying or letting go happen more quickly?

Is the craving for expression maybe related to emotions that have not yet been released?

 

I don't remember the last time I cried this much for days in a row and sometimes my neck/shoulders/upper back have contracted in a very uncontrollable way. Upper back and shoulders have been where I have felt pain most often.

Have you sent healing the past days?

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

There are some distinctions that might be clarifying, but none precede you. So if you want to express about unwanted & wanted, avoidance & allowance, and or negative or positive things - you go right ahead. It can be very releasing. It can also be repeating beliefs and not really letting go of it. 

So there's no need to worry or care about how you might manifest things you don't want with what you say or focus on?

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

While there aren’t any ‘rules’ to the emotional scale, and it’s just a tool for you & also does not precede you - imo, express away - you simply can not ‘get it wrong’. If there’s hatred to be expressed, and that expression comes up along the lines of “I fucking hate this stupid asshole so and so for saying or doing so and so” or similar - empty both barrels - let it all out. No one’s judging, and no one knows better, or what is right or wrong, or proper or improper etc. Ime - while expression, release and the like can sometime be challenging, like a storm which does indeed always pass, all which is “lost” / let go, was discordant horseshit anyways, and all which remains is the true nature, the peace, love, joy - what was wanted all along. You really, really can’t get it wrong. 

I think the scale feels difficult because of believing I can do things wrong, OCD, feeling out of breath the whole time despite breathing deeply and just adding lots of tension to it.

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

It sounds like you want to have some friends. If so, honor that preference. That too can be a bit ‘murky’ at first, as some discordant beliefs come up & out. There might be sense of urgency, conflicting thoughts or uncertainty - that’s ok too. Let it be ‘seen’, acknowledged, and felt. 

There's powerlessness, pessimism, overwhelment and impatience felt in that I just can't even meet friends because of how I feel and because there's not many opportunities for it in my experience. 

I don't feel like trying to make friends from a place of effort or lack. I just want it to happen easily when I go wherever I want to go.

Even though I sometimes want a relationship with a man, there's also thoughts about how I don't even feel like having a relationship for many reasons. It feels like the wrong time and

I have given up on doing anything about it. I don't feel like putting in any effort because it doesn't feel good.

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

If victim mindset feels discordant - allow that to be fully ‘seen’ as well. Again you can’t get it wrong - if you’d like to talk to the same therapist, or another, or whatever you like, and you’d like to express that you don’t want to be diagnosed as this or that - no problem - you can express that to them as well. You can allow any assistance you want to, and allowing it does not make you this or that. It doesn’t make you a victim, nor needy, nor helpless, or anything like that at all.

Is it possible to rely too much on people for support?

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

Experiencing suicidal thoughts is ok. It’s ok for thought to explore. If you feel you’re going to act on the thoughts, if there is any concern in that regard, do google and call a hotline and talk with someone, and do so now, don’t wait or linger. 

 

Suicidal thoughts can arise just before a release. The notion of suicide is essentially that of avoidance of what is & wanting better. A better experience, to be a better person, etc, something along the lines of ‘this totally sucks’ and I don’t want to have to deal with it anymore / I want something better. Clarity lies between ‘I don’t want to live anymore’ and I don’t want to live like this anymore - and that ‘like this’, what’s concerning, worrisome, weighing you down - can be and is already being released. 

I don't think I've ever had any actual plans for anything, it has just felt awful and kept me stuck. Now I see that the avoidance of the underlying emotion might have just delayed a release. 

 

On 10/28/2024 at 5:10 PM, Phil said:

Will you share how you are feeling now? As well, anything that comes to mind you’d like to say or express? Anything at all. There is much, much love here for you. 

I don't feel like writing on this forum because I judge myself so much and I feel so paranoid. Insecurity, worry, unworthiness, fear and guilt probably.

 

3 hours ago, Phil said:

@noomii

In listening to the overwhelment, is there a sense of clarity & alignment in being with just what is, presently?

Letting the old pattern of spiraling be & naturally play itself out? 

Make sense?

It makes sense. Thank you Phil 🙂

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On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

So writing or verbal expression is not making the emptying or letting go happen more quickly?

Being present and allowing is perfectly ample.  Intentions or attempts to make it happen more quickly might be a subtle resistance to allowing it to happen - as in to be felt / released. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

Is the craving for expression maybe related to emotions that have not yet been released?

Emotions aren’t released.

Discordant thoughts, thought patterns, beliefs, interpretations - are released.

All craving is for yourself. To simply be, as yourself, present & unfettered of discord. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

I don't remember the last time I cried this much for days in a row and sometimes my neck/shoulders/upper back have contracted in a very uncontrollable way. Upper back and shoulders have been where I have felt pain most often.

Have you sent healing the past days?

It’s like you’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and you’re now letting go and allowing, and it would not be abnormal for there to be days of releasing. Trust in yourself, in feeling, as that which is ‘behind’ that weight, flushing it out, taking it off your shoulders. 🤍

No, I have not been sending healing. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

So there's no need to worry or care about how you might manifest things you don't want with what you say or focus on?

You can express and release fully, unabashedly & unapologetically - absolutely - without concern of anything undesirable manifesting. There is no source of evil, wrong or bad - and that clarity is precisely what’s being uncovered. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

I think the scale feels difficult because of believing I can do things wrong, OCD, feeling out of breath the whole time despite breathing deeply and just adding lots of tension to it.

It’s a paradigm shift. It can get downright wonky & disorientating. It can be challenging, uncomfortable and exhausting. It’s ok if self referential thoughts come up - it’s old thought patterns and beliefs coming up & out. Refrain from resisting, and refrain from engaging. Just be the openness you truly are, which these phenomena arise & pass within. Relax, breathe, and trust in feeling. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

Is it possible to rely too much on people for support?

No. You are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing whatsoever wrong with ‘where you’re at’. Paradigm shift wise, the transition happens naturally & perfectly. You will see, and feel clearly, that being with it, allowing it to be felt - dissolves it. There is no rush. Take advantage of any and all resources available that you want to. 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

don't think I've ever had any actual plans for anything, it has just felt awful and kept me stuck. Now I see that the avoidance of the underlying emotion might have just delayed a release. 

Great to hear, and don’t sweat that at all. Much much more than avoidance delaying - avoidance of allowing whatever is felt, just doesn’t resonate. That’s the much more significant aspect. Don’t be concerned with how long it takes, let that go too, and relax & allow feeling. Feeling has got your back, is on the same page with you, wants everything you want for yourself, and loves you more than can be thunk, believed or put into words.  

 

On 10/30/2024 at 3:58 PM, noomii said:

I don't feel like writing on this forum because I judge myself so much and I feel so paranoid. Insecurity, worry, unworthiness, fear and guilt probably.

The ‘middle’ is most challenging. If you don’t feel like writing on this or any forum, don’t. It’s not necessary. If that changes, and you do, utilize it. No worries! 🤍 Connect the dots - when those thoughts arise, those emotions are felt. It’s not a problem to solve or figure out - there’s no problem, nothing wrong. It’s just about how it feels. Feeling will & is flushing out those beliefs, that habit of thought. It’s enough to be aware of the thoughts, and to allow what arises. Trust in feeling, relax into feeling and breathing, being present & aware. Imo you’re ‘doing’ really - really great. Letting go of what doesn’t feel good to you, of what doesn’t resonate, can be quite challenging, and shifts occur. Trust in the process. 

 

Feeling emotions is really just about feeling emotions. Not doing emotions, or doing emotional work or fixing or solving anything. 🤍 It’s more like - this feels off and here’s why… guidance. It’s about dispelling what isn’t and was never true, and the discord & suffering going with it. Seeing the snake is a rope. 

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On 10/30/2024 at 10:17 PM, Phil said:

All craving is for yourself. To simple be, as yourself, present & unfettered of discord. 

So if there's a craving for love from someone else, it's not the person I want, it's just the true self/love, what I already am? 

 

On 10/30/2024 at 10:17 PM, Phil said:

No, I have not been sending healing. 

It felt different but I didn't do anything differently, just being aware.

 

On 10/30/2024 at 10:17 PM, Phil said:

You can express and release fully, unabashedly & unapologetically - absolutely - without concern of anything undesirable manifesting. There is no source of evil, wrong or bad - and that clarity is precisely what’s being uncovered. 

Even when I say something unconsciously not being aware of how it felt?

 

On 10/30/2024 at 10:17 PM, Phil said:

It’s a paradigm shift. It can get downright wonky & disorientating. It can be challenging, uncomfortable and exhausting. It’s ok if self referential thoughts come up - it’s old thought patterns and beliefs coming up & out. Refrain from resisting, and refrain from engaging. Just be the openness you truly are, which these phenomena arise & pass within. Relax, breathe, and trust in feeling. 

What paradigm?

 

On 10/30/2024 at 10:17 PM, Phil said:

No. You are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing whatsoever wrong with ‘where you’re at’.

Isn't it different when it comes to relationships, not all people want or can be of support?

 

Thanks a lot 🙂

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16 minutes ago, noomii said:

So if there's a craving for love from someone else, it's not the person I want, it's just the true self/love, what I already am? 

Yes.

 

16 minutes ago, noomii said:

It felt different but I didn't do anything differently, just being aware.

Yes, exactly!

 

16 minutes ago, noomii said:

Even when I say something unconsciously not being aware of how it felt?

Yes.

 

18 minutes ago, noomii said:

What paradigm?

That of being a finite separate self. 

 

20 minutes ago, noomii said:

Isn't it different when it comes to relationships, not all people want or can be of support?

No. They are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing whatsoever wrong with ‘where they’re at’.

 

 

 

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I feel so much pessimism about being alive. I don't want to be here. I don't want to do any spiritual work. I don't want to work at all to create a dream life, it makes me feel like I want to vomit. I hate it. I would rather die than working or improving myself.

I really look forward to when it all comes to an end. I don't know how to stop this, anything that I think could be a solution to the problem just feels bad, because it means I'm not free from the problem and it feels like I'm stuck having to endlessly work on solving a problem. "There's no problem" feels bad too.

I feel so frustrated about how hard I've really tried to fix my sleep schedule but it never seem to work all because I can't empty my bladder. I also feel worse if I wake up late. I think I fell asleep by 3 and woke up by noon today and I felt like I had not slept enough at all. I was really trying to go to bed early yesterday but it didn't work and then I just had a meltdown.

I'm not doing what I or people around me expect me to do and I feel so much guilt and worry about what people think of what I'm not doing.

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24 minutes ago, Phil said:

Just btw, doing, working or improving yourself is not what’s being said or suggested here.

Seems like it to me. What's suggested?

 

26 minutes ago, Phil said:

What about beginning to let go of expectations and projections? Maybe it’s simultaneously clearer there truly is no problem in a relieving and resonating way.  

How?

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14 minutes ago, noomii said:

Seems like it to me. What's suggested?

Meditation, or, meditatively allowing that activity of thought to come to rest. Mindfulness and presence. Allowing self-inherent guidance to be acknowledged and fully felt.

Doing, working or improving yourself is not found in perception or sensation, only thought. That is what you’re sick of. 

 

14 minutes ago, noomii said:

How?

Being aware of thoughts. Just sitting with it, allowing it to naturally process and be released.

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16 minutes ago, Phil said:

Meditation, or, meditatively allowing that activity of thought to come to rest. Mindfulness and presence. Allowing self-inherent guidance to be acknowledged and fully felt.

Doing, working or improving yourself is not found in perception or sensation, only thought. That is what you’re sick of. 

 

Being aware of thoughts. Just sitting with it, allowing it to naturally process and be released.

 

I'm doing all of that.

The practices feels like endless work.

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