Who who?

[Mandy]

@WhiteOwl  Wild idea... how about we take a page out of the  fundamentalist Christian book (I put the fun in fundamental), and take a little break with no sex, drugs or rock n roll? I'd leave rock n roll in, but you seem to have turned that into a goal and a whole thing that you think reflects on you. 

 

Instead, a trip to the grocery store for fresh fruits and vegetables, 2 lemon waters every day morning and night, same consistent bedtime and wake up time and exercise every morning. Find some other creative outlet that is not music. Just for a week. 

 

What do you think? 

[Mandy]

Or... better yet, you create your own method completely yourself. No influence of anyone. What do you think? 

[WhiteOwl]

48 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@WhiteOwl  Wild idea... how about we take a page out of the  fundamentalist Christian book (I put the fun in fundamental), and take a little break with no sex, drugs or rock n roll? I'd leave rock n roll in, but you seem to have turned that into a goal and a whole thing that you think reflects on you. 

 

Instead, a trip to the grocery store for fresh fruits and vegetables, 2 lemon waters every day morning and night, same consistent bedtime and wake up time and exercise every morning. Find some other creative outlet that is not music. Just for a week. 

 

What do you think? 

Hilarious. Like this is not exactly what Im already trying to do. 
 

Thanks for the pro-tip. 
 

Problem is how my corrupted mind is viewing the world. I feel powerlessness about changing it. There is a voice picking everything apart inside, making me feel unworthiness, insecurity, despair bla bla.. comparing, blaming, making social situations horrible. I just want to not have any of those dynamics but the patterns persist even after years of meditation, loads of healing modalities (ayahuasca, 5-Meo, mushrooms). 
 

i eat organic fruits and drink lemon water every morning and often more times during the same. Loophole shake everyday as well. 

I know people who actually seem authentically happy, drinking shit tons of coffee and sugar, not sleeping well (small kids) and never meditating or eating healthy.

 

I also see others, myself included, who feel miserable living what you mention.

 

this is not doing it for me. I’ve wasted enough already. 

 

 

[Mandy]

@WhiteOwl If you don't believe that any of that works, what do you believe will? 

 

Waste is impossible if you're inspired to something with curiosity and have no insistence on getting anything out of it. If you think it's what's going to work because someone said so but you don't want to be doing it because deep down you believe that your situation is uniquely hopeless, when you discover that it doesn't work after you go through the motion of effort, the disappointment is written off as waste. 

 

No one is actually happy as a state achieved, everyone is open to feedback from their own emotional guidance system. You see people on youtube or at parties or clubs when they are in their element and think it's always so. It isn't. 

[WhiteOwl]

8 minutes ago, Mandy said:

because deep down you believe that your situation is uniquely hopeless,

I am mostly optimistic and hopeful that it will work otherwise i would never do it. 
 

I feel angry and disappointment because after years of going through a lot and getting a degree in spirituality, i still run into the same shit.

 

which makes me want to try something else as it would be insanity to continue.

 

21 minutes ago, Mandy said:

You see people on youtube or at parties or clubs when they are in their element and think it's always so. It isn't. 

I know this. These are not the people i talk about. These are people close to me that i see often during all times. 
 

happiness is not about this bullshit. 
 

[Mandy]

@WhiteOwl If someone is walking 2 miles per hour on the treadmill and falls off, it's a lot easier to get back on the treadmill. If someone wants to go 10 miles per hour and falls off, it's a lot harder to get back on the treadmill. People don't want in the same way, the same realizations or things with the same "speed". You have no idea what their speed is, or what they want, you cannot compare and also get up to pace with your own stream. It's none of your business whether someone drinks 1 gallon of soda everyday and stays happy. Other people are for inspiration and cocreation only, never for falling short purposes. 

[WhiteOwl]

21 minutes ago, Mandy said:

People don't want in the same way, the same realizations or things with the same "speed"

Exactly. This is where i am corrupted. Whatever i am living is making me unhappy. 

 

22 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Other people are for inspiration and cocreation only, never for falling short purposes. 

I am a lot better at saying this to other people than living it myself. And its not like im actively creating my interpretations  in the moment, they just happen. 
 

Like how do you not compare, when it’s not something you are doing. Fuck this, so much complication thinking about that nothings exists and everything is an illusion. It would have been so much better not learning all this crap
 

 

[WhiteOwl]

Thanks for the effort, appreciate it. I’m off though, it’s not for me.

[Mandy]

OK.

 

I'm not living it, or not living it. I think that's the hang up. There is no "how I am doing this past week/ year/ lifetime." That would be a thought occuring now.

 

It really isn't for you, that is truly accurate. Not for me either. I'm not going anywhere though. 

[Mandy]

This is how I feel right now. 

 https://youtu.be/c2glOppqBRg?si=zhXrTzRxr9OPsWnq

 

 

 

[Mandy]

Communion. 

 

😂

 

 

My husband was raised strictly fundamentalist, and rather than buying him Harry Potter books, his parents bought him a Christian book of a study of how evil they were. His parents cleaned their house out last summer and it was given to him in a big box of stuff that sat on the ottoman in the living room which I went through after he wouldn't for some time. I found the book and left it out because I thought it might be a fun time, as in it's fun to make yourself angry and laugh. It got lost under the couch. Recently I found it after cleaning under it and flipped through it. 

 

It's a complete study of magic. He went through and studied wicca and all the similar traditions and gave kids information on the religions he thought were evil, yet those of us who just got Harry Potter got a children's book, with none of that. 

 

We went to Salem MA in the spring, and those killed in the Salem witch trials were the true believers who were more afraid of god than man. If you lied and said you were in league with the devil, they spared you. Salem means peace, and now the town is a Halloween and witch and occult paradise. Most of the shops are just for show, thematic, but some are run by people who really practice. I went in to browse in one, thought we were alone and pointed out some hag stones to my husband and said I knew of only one place where to find them. Then a guy I never noticed once sitting there spoke and asked where. There was just something about him that floored me. It's funny how some interactions are out of this world, like instant, true communion. It used to get painted in a romantic light, and sometimes I think the polarity of gender charges it but not in that way. It's the easiest way to ruin it, really. 

 

I'm still just trying to feed Tina though. 

 

(Oh come on, don't affirm that.)

 

I feel like the little girls in The Shining. 

 

(Oh COME ON.)

 

Danny, you're such a whimp. Maybe I could work a little harder at working less hard. 

 

Like I didn't even see you sitting there. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

It's like I think I'm gonna get what I want by noticing where it isn't. 

 

I HAVE SOME GREAT EXCUSES. 

 

Let's hear them then. 

 

It's their fault. Not my fault, their fault for being Tinas and not wanting their goddamn food. 

 

Genie cannot make people want things that they don't already want. Cannot make them fall in love.

 

Ok, but they do want THIS, they just don't KNOW that they want THIS. I guess this means I'm terrible at marketing. 

 

It's a complete and utter misunderstanding that marketing is a skill people have, however communication can be avoided, and averted from. You can't sell something to someone who doesn't already want it on some level, you just have to communicate how it aligns with the desire they already have. 

 

They've got the best, they've got law of attraction, Abraham Hicks, Rupert Spira if they don't fancy that at all, if all that's not working, why bother.

 

Why bother? 

 

I don't recommend bothering at all, bothering is what I recommend less of. 

 

How do I communicate keeping in mind their best interests without manipulating?

 

Manipulating would be acting on the belief that one can profit from the ignorance  or loss of another. Which would only be done if it's believed that what one wants is limited and finite. 

 

Everything comes back to that alignment is everything. Is there really any good reason to do anything out of alignment? I wasn't expecting anything.

 

With no insistence as to its outcome. 

 

OH! I get how disappointment comes into play. When did everything become so transactional? I'll only do it if I believe it's gonna be good in a safe way, at the end, even if I'm excited about it. So I logic, I don't follow excitement. 

 

DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE HOW YOU'RE ATTRACTING TINA?! 

 

How you can make a terrible investment unknowingly and it lands you just where you need to be. 

 

Don't count your chickens before they hatch, Humpty Dumpty. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

My son is into geocaching so I got some old beads I made from close to 20 years ago so he could leave them as trinkets. I found an empty tomb bead I made for Easter one year and looking at it, really seeing the symbolism as if for the first time. Communion. EAT THE FOOD TINA. What are you left with? What remains? Bahahahaha. 

[Mandy]

Wears out pair of shoes. Buys new pair of shoes. Leaves new pair of shoes in box because these shoes are perfect, and wearing them will defile them. 

 

Your light shoe. Show. Your light show is disorienting. Country music, disco, raves, how will everyone get along, how will we please everyone with the same music? How do we be inclusive? How does this all fit together? 

 

If the show fits, wear it. 

 

 

 

[Mandy]

Ok Source, I want deep spiritual inner working insight into why I was unable to return my microwave today. 

 

Oh shit. I think I know. It's exactly how I left my last conversation. Wow, that was quick. 

 

When I bought the microwave, I felt wasteful. The microwave I have is a nasty yellowed white microwave, but it works perfectly. All my other appliances are stainless and I wanted the microwave to match, it's the last puzzle piece in my kitchen update. But when I bought it, I got a super cheap black one that wasn't the design I thought it was, and the boxes were under the wrong display, or I mixed them up somehow. So I wasn't really aligned with having a stainless steel microwave. I didn't really feel worthy, although that was the intention. I felt rushed by my daughter. 

 

So today when I went to return the unwanted microwave, I asked "can I return this?", and the woman said "MAYBE". And I told her I never opened the box, so the answer is yes, I can return it. But I felt unsure of whether I COULD return the microwave, if I was worthy of it. A man stood in line behind me with a bouquet of flowers, and I felt bad because I was holding him up. Oddly enough he was buying them, not returning anything. Why he went to customer service desk to buy nothing but a bouquet of flowers, I have no idea. 

 

It turned out that their system was down and after four women tried several times of scanning it thinking something was wrong with the receipt or the microwave, I had to carry the microwave back out the car and try again another day. 😂

 

Alignment, worthiness. Even the flowers. 

 

It would sound nice to end the story here, but maybe I'm also worthy of having a yellowed microwave a little longer and not giving a damn. Maybe it's ok to be just where you are.

 

Maybe it's ok not to know, but you can't manifest anything until you DO know. And being miserable that you aren't getting what you want, when you don't know WHAT you want, and aren't aligned with the action is already knowing what you want, that is to know what you want. 😂

 

 

[Mandy]

Yesterday my son bought some freeze dried skittles at the fair. His sister opened them while being told several times to ask him first and spilled them all on the floor. He was so mad at her, he screamed at her, and they fought while we went to the lake to swim. He was too upset to swim, and cheered up just for a second when he asked if I had brought his squirt gun, and went back to being upset when I said no, so he sat in my aunt and uncle's screen room steaming instead of swimming or playing. About 10 minutes later he came out with pool noodle and then spent a very long time figuring out how to use it as a squirt gun to get his sister. It was a hilarious, ineffective and complete waste of energy that succeeded in him getting the worst of it from my standpoint, but for him, revenge felt better. 

 

It's funny how revenge can be felt, and be healing, but acted upon it's like the disbelief that the Universe has your back and can and is doing it far better. If you'd like you could call it karma. Or since there aren't two, everything we throw comes back to us, to be received with awareness like the bridegroom in the Jesus parable, or to smack us unaware the back of the head. 

 

Karma, if we're calling it that, is always really about what's wanted. 

 

"Someone has said, “the Universe has imagined it even better than you have.” And we like to add to that: The Universe got all of its information about what you like from you, and it has remembered every piece of it and has put it together in perfect formation. And so, the things that are on their way to you are so much better than you even know that you want. And as you allow them, the essence all of these things that the Universe knows that you are wanting make their way to you and appear in perfect timing for you."- Abraham 

[Mandy]

2 hours ago, Mandy said:

"Someone has said, “the Universe has imagined it even better than you have.” And we like to add to that: The Universe got all of its information about what you like from you, and it has remembered every piece of it and has put it together in perfect formation. And so, the things that are on their way to you are so much better than you even know that you want. 

The not knowing what you want is the mystery. That sounds like the dumbest no shit sherlock statement ever. No shit, is oh holy shit though, that's the unconditional, the no insistence on the result.  

[Mandy]

Source- "Oh, you think there are spiritual people? And that they're any better and wiser than the rest? "

 

 

 

 

Only diss-appointment will do. The appointed one isn't what you think. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Phil]

That’s awesome. 

[Mandy]

I want to quite real estate. I want to make videos every day and see what happens. I want the freedom to do what I want. I already have the freedom to do what I want, including showing and selling houses. I want to invest in real estate. I want to serve my community. I want to offer myself the patience to take this slowly and not chase stupid actions just to make myself feel like I belong in this. Who knows? 😂

 

I want to stay healthy, to show up, to be the cheerleader. It's no coincidence that my mom stopped by my house with a picture of me as a little kid with pom poms. I never did sign up for cheerleading but I wish I had and hadn't listened to others saying it was stupid. And here, I went into real estate even though it's  stupid. 😂  I did the thing I said I wanted to do. Who knows what will happen? 

 

She's pretty far out there. Far out. What an expression. Rejecting oneself. 

 

Humpty Dumpty had a great Fall. He enjoyed all the pumpkin spice stuff and the beautiful Autumn leaves. 

 

Jesus Christ, it's a stretch though. Real estate. As if it were real. lol

 

A  stretch is a lot like "far out".  

 

Jesus! It's all right there. 

 

Yeah, that's what I'm pointing out. Its not far out. It's not a stretch. It's all right there. 

 

I don't understand why this happened. Maybe it's because I'm a closet antisocial person.

 

Shut up. What are you avoiding? 

 

Making videos. I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, wise enough, researched enough, well spoken enough, experienced enough, the lighting isn't quite right. 

 

Quite. 

 

https://www.etymonline.com/word/quite

 

The clarity is in the overlooked mistake. Brilliant. 

 

You've diss-appointed others in knowing whether cheerleading or real estate is stupid. You've diss-appointed yourself from having to make it happen. One more action, even the one more action of quitting, will not change a thing. It won't catch the dog that was swallowed the cat to catch the rat to catch the spider. 

 

It seems like they're two separate hats. The inspired hat and the serving people and getting paid hat. 

 

There aren't two hats, but let's ask John Michael Montgomery, he wears a hat. 

 

 

He says sink or swim you gotta give it a whirl. This is basic 101 cheerleading shit. Yay!

 

That's a good sign then. It was all just for you. But don't feel foolish because there isn't one.