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I've Discovered the Fundamental Hindrance


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In deep meditation Feeling has been so pronounced it's beyond words. 

 

The Self shines so bright, it's beyond obvious that You are the Universe. Thoughts are known by awareness to be thoughts, yet they are effortlessly allowed and do not disturb the flow of the Universe. Sensation is the Universe, there is no final teaching or "point" , only an illusory point or experience generated in thought in hindsight. 

 

Feeling is so pronounced that breathing nearly ceases, the bliss is so incredible. 

 

The hindrance experienced is that sensation is prior to thought. 

 

This is a double edged sword. When we notice that sensation is prior to thought we realize our Nature is not in thought but prior to it, it is very liberating when Awareness knows thought as thought and is no longer fooled by it's abstraction. 

 

YET, because sensation is prior to thought, when uncomfortable sensation arises that is also prior to thought and there is no way to "think yourself out of it". In fact, this is the root of all mental aversion and rumination. 

 

This hindrance runs so deep I am in peace yet simultaneously want to cry and scream until my throat burns 🔥,  it arouses a deep frustration within. 

 

Now I already know what's coming "the thoughts that are arising right now about how the sensations are uncomfortable are what's causing the suffering" yet in deep meditation awareness is aware of thought as thoughtand is not fooled by it, yet sensation changes tone, it becomes brittle, it burns, it's sore. Then the Self feels like shit. 

 

This is why meditation is tough first thing in the morning, the Self feels like crap. Of course the thoughts can further add to the discomfort and amplify the suffering. But there is indeed suffering that is prior to thought. 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

 

The emotion, the sensory discomfort, it's so intense and there is no escape, no way out. 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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Maybe this is the "throwing up" in response to the brittle sensation? 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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I had some energetic crying then things settled down a bit, feeling became a little more pronounced. Then thoughts of worry arose about mom finding stuff out, then asked "what are you trying to teach me?" then the insight came up, I don't have to feel guilt at all for the decisions I make even if mom doesn't agree with it, and I am the power. "Mom" and "dad" took care of me but now Awakening has unfolded and I Am Power itself, I am the Nurturing Source. Feeling pronounced significantly, yet not as much as when breathing nearly ceased. 

 

"The path" becomes clearer and clearer. The guidance is genius. 

Every situation that arises is a lesson, a pointing, just as Phil told me. 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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This is and has been incredible. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

 

If you're reading this, thank you. 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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When will you quit with this nonsense and start improving your life.

Seeking for self is pointless because you already are.No need for "better feeling thoughts" or whatever Phil preaches.I am going to make coffee enjoy a little and work because only work brings results in life.You can attract things in life lol.

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44 minutes ago, Alexander said:

When will you quit with this nonsense and start improving your life.

Seeking for self is pointless because you already are.No need for "better feeling thoughts" or whatever Phil preaches.I am going to make coffee enjoy a little and work because only work brings results in life.You can attract things in life lol.

The self you already are is infinite, so there is no Phil preaching or work, results or life.

In your innocent ignore-ance, you remain oblivious to the very point of the thread. 

Ditch this “aligment is attracting things in life” personal crap ideology and get back to work!

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43 minutes ago, Alexander said:

When will you quit with this nonsense and start improving your life.

Seeking for self is pointless because you already are.No need for "better feeling thoughts" or whatever Phil preaches.I am going to make coffee enjoy a little and work because only work brings results in life.You can attract things in life lol.

"Attraction" is reality itself. The hard work and improvement is not separate from Attraction. I've been working an average of 12 hours a day and haven't taken a day off for a month now. 

"Mediocrity is gone. Mind is clear of limitation. I seek no state of enlightenment. Neither do I remain where no enlightenment exists. Since I linger in neither condition, eyes cannot see me. If hundreds of birds strew my path with flowers, such praise would be meaningless."

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55 minutes ago, Alexander said:

When will you quit with this nonsense and start improving your life.

Seeking for self is pointless because you already are.No need for "better feeling thoughts" or whatever Phil preaches.I am going to make coffee enjoy a little and work because only work brings results in life.You can attract things in life lol.

What you’re attracting is precisly what you’re experiencing; that only work brings results. 

It’s going entirely unoticed this is a conceptualization of direct experience. 

I am not experiencing that / that is not my experience because the limiting belief was dispelled. 

 

To dispel limiting beliefs, contemplate more sincerely, honestly and deeply, what you really want. 

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