Raising Kids, Nonduality - LOA

[Blessed2]

With this non-duality & loa 'understanding'... How does raising kids 'work'? Or, how has it been?

 

Like for example, when the teenage years come and they start going to parties perhaps, maybe drinking, experimenting with drugs, having sex...

 

Or maybe being bullied or bullying others, failing exams...

 

The "right and wrong" behaviour, throwing tantrums etc...

 

Or how about time limits? When to be home, when to go to sleep etc?

 

"Setting the rules" and "parenting" ?

 

I mean... You gotta set some rules, right? Or not?

 

[Mandy]

Basically just love em. Guidelines come from love, I myself have a loosely enforced bedtime because I feel best going to sleep and waking up around the same time, so it happens naturally and so naturally as part of the household the kids have one too. Communication, relationship, and love is all parenting is.

 

Bullying has been a bit of challenge lately. I think that you recognize more clearly that your kids attract for themselves and you can't control their environments to make them perfect for them. However dealing with or addressing those things is also just communication, mostly with your own kid, whether victim or perpetrator, and sometimes with school faculty and sometimes with other parents.

 

A lot of the motivation to come down too hard on kids or to be way to permissive and dismissive or their behavior comes from the need to see oneself as perfect and good, and therefore see your kids as an extension of you. That's what obscures things. Kids that feel that they're unconditionally loved have less of a need to try to push buttons.