Venting

[Kevin]

So I just wanted to vent for a second. Basically I thought I was all about feeling the painful emotions and hella progress was getting made. But lately I’ve been feeling lots of painful emotions. A lot of unworthiness. Co arising with these painful emotions is very uncomfortable body sensations. I feel huge amounts of tension around my temples and my right ear and sinuses. I hate it. It’s so damn uncomfortable. I want to feel energized and excited but I’m dealing with so much frustration and unworthiness and I’m so sick of this.

[Phil]

😕 Sorry to hear. 

 

Sounds like you want a relationship but believe you aren’t worthy, and this is somehow related to irritation towards someone specific. 

[Kevin]

43 minutes ago, Phil said:

😕 Sorry to hear. 

 

Sounds like you want a relationship but believe you aren’t worthy, and this is somehow related to irritation towards someone specific. 

Yeah pretty much. This seems like a tough nut to crack. I think I make a lot of progress in other areas of life and I start feeling good but then this issue still persists and then I get so frustrated. I guess I feel lost.

[Reena]

Journaling might help to release the tension. When I was going through an emotional crisis I journaled a shit ton and it was a cathartic release. Helps a lot with emotional work. 

[Phil]

14 hours ago, Kevin said:

Yeah pretty much. This seems like a tough nut to crack. I think I make a lot of progress in other areas of life and I start feeling good but then this issue still persists and then I get so frustrated. I guess I feel lost.

As you’re aware of the thought, I feel lost, it’s self-inherent that you aren’t.  
 

A different approach, what is it that you are right about, which does not feel aligned?

 

If you let it go rather than pursuing resolving it, what is uprooted… What is exposed?

[Kevin]

9 hours ago, Reena said:

Journaling might help to release the tension. When I was going through an emotional crisis I journaled a shit ton and it was a cathartic release. Helps a lot with emotional work. 

Totally I’m gonna journal more. I did some journal writing last night and that really helped.

[Kevin]

4 hours ago, Phil said:

As you’re aware of the thought, I feel lost, it’s self-inherent that you aren’t.  

 

Yes I guess it would have been more accurate to say that I was feeling very sad and I didn’t know how to feel better.

4 hours ago, Phil said:

A different approach, what is it that you are right about, which does not feel aligned?

 

Oh so much stuff. I’ll never succeed at the things I want to. Music career and starting a business probably won’t work out. Uninspired. I’ll probably never find a girl I like. So many people are stupid and have just the stupidest and worst takes.

4 hours ago, Phil said:

If you let it go rather than pursuing resolving it, what is uprooted… What is exposed?

Very good idea. I’ve been trying that a bit today. We’ll see how it goes

[Phil]

20 hours ago, Kevin said:

Yes I guess it would have been more accurate to say that I was feeling very sad and I didn’t know how to feel better

With love, that would be delusion. The limiting beliefs are that sad is indicative of you, as a separate self, the knower, which doesn’t know. 

You, happiness, are present & appearing as the thoughts. Some thoughts seem to obscure, namely thoughts about you being an other self, a separate in time. 

That is what suffering is. Suffering is the discord of the thoughts. 

 

20 hours ago, Kevin said:

Oh so much stuff. I’ll never succeed at the things I want to. Music career and starting a business probably won’t work out. Uninspired. I’ll probably never find a girl I like. So many people are stupid and have just the stupidest and worst takes.

So which way to go as it were?

 

Continue being right & suffering, or remain present & trust?

 

20 hours ago, Kevin said:

Very good idea. I’ve been trying that a bit today. We’ll see how it goes

👊🏼♥️

[Kevin]

9 hours ago, Phil said:

With love, that would be delusion. The limiting beliefs are that sad is indicative of you, as a separate self, the knower, which doesn’t know. 

You, happiness, are present & appearing as the thoughts. Some thoughts seem to obscure, namely thoughts about you being an other self, a separate in time. 

That is what suffering is. Suffering is the discord of the thoughts. 

 

That seems clear now. Thoughts that bring about painful emotions came up a lot and then it seemed like that was me which was very painful and there was a ton of resistance. 

It seems that it’s all about willingness to feel. Which it doesn’t seem like I decide. When there is willingness it seems like everything can be felt and there is relief. Occasionally there is an energetic no. It seems like some things come up and then there is a no and then it becomes painful.

 

Fortunately at the moment there seems to be willingness to feel. My emotions are met with a yes and there has been continual relief.

9 hours ago, Phil said:

So which way to go as it were?

 

Continue being right & suffering, or remain present & trust?

 

👊🏼♥️

Hopefully remain present and trust. It seems like since I’ve been giving my emotions a yes, there has been a lot of relief.

[Phil]

26 minutes ago, Kevin said:

That seems clear now. Thoughts that bring about painful emotions came up a lot and then it seemed like that was me which was very painful and there was a ton of resistance. 

It seems that it’s all about willingness to feel. Which it doesn’t seem like I decide. When there is willingness it seems like everything can be felt and there is relief. Occasionally there is an energetic no. It seems like some things come up and then there is a no and then it becomes painful.

 

Fortunately at the moment there seems to be willingness to feel. My emotions are met with a yes and there has been continual relief.

Likewise, that sounds very clear. Even easier & lighter… there really only is this moment. 

 

27 minutes ago, Kevin said:

Hopefully remain present and trust. It seems like since I’ve been giving my emotions a yes, there has been a lot of relief.

🙏🏼♥️