Jump to content

Tropicana


Reena

Recommended Posts

The rest of the day will be spent sulking. What a rip off man? Talk about twisting things to suit your agenda entirely??? Huh? 

 

I know I'm not in the wrong at all. Why should I become a victim of someone's biases and prejudice? I'm not a boot licker lol. Can't handle one disagreement. People punish me because I'm not ready to bend. I'm a human too. I have opinions too. 

Too sensitive perhaps? Or too egoic? 

I don't believe that people who are hurt by me are sensitive. Sensitive people don't start wars. 

 

Anyways I said my peace. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With a narcissist the problem is that you can only get along with them for so long. When they are nice to you, they are nice to you. But you are always on thin ice,so to speak. The day they are bad with you, they might not directly start a war with you, but they will keep throwing little triggers your way to see how much you can take. You don't want to be pissed but how long can you keep up the act? Then you run into a moral conflict of wanting to stay authentic to your emotions versus trying to people please the narcissist. You have to pick one out of the two. I usually choose the former because I can't be emotionally dishonest to myself till my death. It just feels like a life half lived that way. Why why why. Say it like you meant it. I always tell myself - just say it like you feel. If someone really understood you, they would not want you to mask your emotions. They would respect your emotions rather. They would not put their agenda in front of your emotions. Because they too want to be authentic with you, just the way you want to be authentic with them. So just say what you feel and don't hold back. Yes there's a price to pay. But it's too little to what life is in the bigger picture. Life is too beautiful and sacred to be wasted on un-authentic people who don't really care how you feel. If they truly cared they won't let you be smothered in your own misunderstanding, they will build genuine intimacy. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

No. I just expect basic decency and don't wish to be attacked. Not too much to ask for/from someone I have known for a long time. They can even resolve issues privately. Public attacking can impact self esteem badly. I get it that I'm sensitive but if a person is truly respectful they will respect the fact that I'm hurting too. Too often we just don't want to take the other person on board. We want to fill the room with our own selves. The strange part is when they are attacked, they immediately go on the defensive and act offended. How about not offending me? I'm human too? I try to stay patient but the attacking goes on to the point I lose my chill and then I'm like - why should I be the only one to care about consequences? Why should I be the only one to always want to build a bridge and at what price? The problem with toxic people is that they keep testing your boundaries. They wanna see how much you can take. I have taken attacks patiently in the past. Then I begin to feel weird inside. Why am I compromising so much, for whom, for what? People compromise with a bad boss for money. What am I compromising for especially when the other person doesn't give a fuck about how I feel? Eventually when you keep compromising, you become a shell of yourself, you can no longer live in that diminished way feeling wronged even when you weren't wrong, constantly compromising morally and feeling this deep conflict inside. Why comply to something totally absurd to stroke a person's ego right? 

 

 

 

It's like this emperor who is naked. You are not supposed to tell him that he is naked because he will be offended. How much will you suppress your own emotions to please someone else? You can do it with little things. But even then, deep down this moral conflict doesn't go away that you're dealing with an EGOTISTICAL BLOWHARD and every time you're supposed to say YES SIR or he feels bad lol. Or he threatens to cut you off. I mean you reach a point where you say - fuck this shit, I'll do I what I want, if you don't like it, shove it up your ass. There is no other way to be authentic. You can't keep playing the game of "namesake." I don't even want it. 

 

 

 

I always believe that where your emotions are true, you'll also find people who truly respect you. You never need to put an act, not that it rewards you anyway. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What's the difference between non true and untrue?

 

Non true is something that is empty of meaning or a complete distortion of the truth. 

 

Untrue means denial or something didn't happen the way described.

 

 

He said that he could not attend as he was sick. 

 

If you think he was lying about his health, then you'll say - 

 

That's non true. What he said is non true. That means there is no real truth in what he stated. This means even though he said he was sick, there is no truth to the fact of his sickness, it means that he was lying about it or there was no truth in his claim. It was without substantiation. 

 

That's untrue. This can imply that the fact that he said something along the lines of his health is untrue. Which can mean he simply never made such a statement. That's untrue as in he never said he was sick. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I woke up in the middle of the night. I think I heard sounds of oppression. Yea that's what oppression sounds like. 

He spoke for non white people like me. He spoke about the dynamix of oppression. He spoke against oppression. He saw the threat of oppression. It felt like he spoke for me. Finally someone who can speak the truth, Yea. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hear people laughing. Men laughing. Not women. I can hear beer being poured, bottles being uncorked, sounds of oppression.. 

 

All regimes are oppressive.. Without doubt. We will have oppression coming. The Great Oppression. It's not far away. 

 

If you begin your day with the first activity then somewhere you'll hear sounds of oppression. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to be forgiving to myself. 

 

Sometimes I make mistakes and beat myself up very badly. I have to understand my own weaknesses and have the capacity to forgive those. You are only human. You make mistakes. It's alright. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is the reason why you need mega corporations, as opposed to being privately under a person. Individual ownership is much more prone to dirty political games, ego games, power games, narcissistic abuse and one upmanship and also cultish nonsense, constant gaslighting and psychological abuse, harassment and targeting and abuse of power. 

This is less likely in a corporation because it's not easy to control a large group of people and most people are auto-disciplined. Nobody gets to play the Boss. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

All in a day's work. My ex contacted me again from another account to gain my sympathy for his ex partner Rebecca not wanting to talk to him. Lol. This time I decided to be really mean to him. 

 

 

He calls me the N word and then expects me to show him kindness lol.. 

 

 

 

 

 

8cmj9u.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

8cmjb1.jpg

 

 

 

 

8cmjbx.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

8cmjm8.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

8cmjqo.jpg

 

 

 

8cmjcv.jpg

 

 

 

 

Edited by Reena
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This guy is so terrible. I can't believe I was in a relationship with him. He tells me to jump off. He tells me to die. He tells me I'm worthless. Then he will say I'm stooping low when I tell him to leave me alone. 

 

 

This is the same person who I have shown the greatest compassion in my life, I have not shown this level of empathy even to my mom. He calls me a flower girl. I was so patient and gently compassionate to him throughout the relationship. And he used to hurl racial abuses at me. Still I forgave him on multiple occasions despite his racist attacks. 

 

 

I regret it so much that I showed empathy to such an undeserving person. So ungrateful for all I did for him. I helped him recover from his problems and he systematically abused and exploited and manipulated me. I used to think it's just his meds, he will improve over time. But no. Even after such a long time, he is still that same racist abusive person that he always was.

 

I lost all empathy for him and he acts surprised. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He is addicted to my empathy. But he doesn't realize I'm not that person anymore. Maybe value people a little more and don't take their affection for granted. I went from being a sweet docile empathetic woman to a cold mean spirited hard woman. Thanks for making me that. Thanks for ripping me to shreds with constant narcissistic abuse and then blaming me when I had enough of the mind  games. 

Thanks for letting me grow up and realize reality and outgrow my lala land. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He calls me evil. If I'm so evil then why is he always contacting me with his sob stories? 

 

This is how such men manipulate women. If you don't do their bidding, they call you evil. That way you're always addicted to their moral  validation. That way slavery to an abusive man and patriarchal abuse continues. Because if you protest such men, then they immediately guilt you and call you evil and a "bad woman." Systematic manipulation?????? 

 

This man gets a new woman every week by trying to draw out her empathy instincts. Then when he verbally abuses her, she leaves him and he will threaten to rape and torture her. Countless women who have been abused in this manner that I have warned about this man and they didn't want to believe me. Then he did the same to them what he did to me. The same cycle. First manipulate, then love bomb, then abuse by controlling how he morally validates them. Weaker vulnerable women fall for this kind of shit because they aren't aware of how patriarchal abuse works. A systematic way of judging women to get them to tolerate physical, mental and verbal abuse and when they begin to protest that abuse, start calling them evil for exposing the manipulation so that they feel guilty for defending themselves. That way most women will try to please the guy as much as possible so as to not be labeled as "evil." 

 

It's pathetic. 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

By now he has left about at least 10 women abused and damaged by his method of acquiring them. All those women try to recover from the verbal abuse he put them through. Sometimes he gave them rape threats and death threats to make them stay in the relationship and not leave. He did the same to me when I tried to leave. He would threaten me with the worst consequences. Finally I found the courage to walk away. 

 

 

When you feel vulnerable, it's hard to fight or feel the stamina to fight back. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By clicking, I agree to the terms of use, rules, guidelines & to hold Actuality of Being LLC, admin, moderators & all forum members harmless.