I can't do it alone.

[Phil]

7 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

It's believed to be indicative, but what is not believed is that any answer someone would give here would be helfpul. If it was, wouldn't it have already worked?

Worked, how so? What is worked? What is didn’t work?

 

7 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

More like just giving up and never leaving bed again - ideation.

Acknowledging overwhelment is other than thought story. It’s the nipping it in the bud, as opposed to the rollercoaster.  It leads to acknowledging impatience, frustration & irritation, which leads to acknowledging pessimism etc.  

7 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

Meditation is not going to work and I'm not going to do it even if someone suggests it. Same for the scale.

Probably only a miracle would do. God's grace. Magic.

 

 

As far as what’s being shared…

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

It's out of my ability. I don't know how to feel better. I don't know how to reach infinity.

The other-then acknowledging the emotion experienced typically looks like a thought story about a limited self which is separate from infinity, yet never actually present. Also referred to as ego, or, illusion. 

 

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

I don't know what sensations to focus on, how to listen to emotional guidance, what thoughts to think, how to let go discord, how to succeed in alignment and all this.

At least with respect to what’s being shared, sensation isn’t plural, and there’s a range of emotions. Sensation points directly to the experience of what thought might claims is the body, and emotion points to how thoughts feel.

 

The ‘how’ to listen is like how to listen to the sensation of your hand on a hot stove. It would be weird to have a conversation about how to listen to the burn while your hand was still on the stove. It seems like it would be short, like, take your hand off the stove. Acknowledging the emotions is like taking your hand off the stove. Like taking your hand off a hose really. The creativity, insights, vernal awesomeness and goodness etc flow less restrictively. 

 

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

All effort is unsustainable. All trying in unsustainable. You cannot try, you cannot give effort forever. It's unsustainable. You will get tired, you will burn out.

Effort, trying & not trying are the thought story referred to. About the separate self which is never actually present. All beliefs are unsustainable (and tiring). ‘Three things cannot be long hidden…’. 🤍

 

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

All I can do, all I want to do, is how I am when in deep sleep. Total self-unconsciousness. That's the only sustainable way to spend an eternity. That's the only way I can be without discord. The only way I can be. The only way eternity can be. The only way peace can be. Anything else must be a "failure". Anything else is "off". I can feel it.

Again just as far as what’s being shared… there’s no experience of sleep or self-unconsciousness. These are beliefs which arise as an attempt to make sense of emotions experienced. There’s experience without thought story about the alleged separate self. But again, this is the natural happening of acknowledging the emotions experienced, and of meditation, or, allowing the activity of thought to naturally come to rest. Also what’s being said is non-aversion; feeling into as opposed to trying to be without or believing in failure etc. Again this is thought story which arises of suppression of the emotions experienced. The thought story is like the guy that knocks on the monetary door and says ‘let me in I need to feel this peace!’, to which the monk yells ‘if we let you in there won’t be this peace!’. 

 

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

It must be done to me, for me. I just want to sleep.

Since there’s no experience of sleep, and peace is desired, why not inspect the thoughts peace is appearing as, which are obscuring peace? Maybe the mind is claiming something is wrong, limited, broken and needs to be fixed… and peace and emotions are responding otherwise. 

 

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Yeah I've heard many times how you just gotta give it to God or Source, to let go the wheel and sit on the passenger side. But I don't think that works. I don't think God would do it for me. If I let go the wheel, wouldn't the car just ride off the road and crash.

Thinking it doesn’t work, and thoughts about God and me and the car crashing etc etc is what’s let go. 

 

 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

17 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

That's the only sustainable way to spend an eternity. That's the only way I can be without discord. The only way I can be. The only way eternity can be. The only way peace can be. Anything else must be a "failure". Anything else is "off". I can feel it.

You clearly haven't seen a lot of in life to say that...

[Blessed2]

10 hours ago, Phil said:

Maybe the mind is claiming something is wrong, limited, broken and needs to be fixed… and peace and emotions are responding otherwise. 

 

That feels aligned but dude you always say I gotta meditate, do the scale, allow, etc. That sounds like fixing to me.

 

10 hours ago, Phil said:

Acknowledging overwhelment is other than thought story.

 

What do you mean by "acknowledging overwhelment"?

 

10 hours ago, Phil said:

Worked, how so? What is worked? What is didn’t work?

 

"Worked" as in feeling better. "Worked" as in there being an insight, a realization, a learning of something new that helps to feel better.

 

10 hours ago, Phil said:

At least with respect to what’s being shared, sensation isn’t plural, and there’s a range of emotions. Sensation points directly to the experience of what thought might claims is the body, and emotion points to how thoughts feel.

 

The ‘how’ to listen is like how to listen to the sensation of your hand on a hot stove.

 

When you say "listening to the emotional guidance", what do you mean?

 

When you say that I try to feel into the emotion and try to find it. I try to find some sensation. And it starts just feeling worse.

 

10 hours ago, Phil said:

It would be weird to have a conversation about how to listen to the burn while your hand was still on the stove. It seems like it would be short, like, take your hand off the stove. Acknowledging the emotions is like taking your hand off the stove.

 

Okay.

 

I am experiencing suffering.

 

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

That feels aligned but dude you always say I gotta meditate, do the scale, allow, etc. That sounds like fixing to me.

There’s nothing wrong with you. 

There’s apparently the belief something’s wrong with you. 

Because there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing to fix. 

 

No longer judging and instead allowing self-love is not a fixing of anything or anyone which there is something wrong with. That would just be more (discordant) judgment and unwillingness to acknowledge emotional guidance (for creating, for what you want, for thoughts, and yet not for an actual ‘separate self’).

 

Meditation & expression are letting go of the belief & the repeating of the belief & judgement ‘something’s wrong with you’. Meditation & expression do not fix anything because there isn’t anything or anyone which is broken to be fixed. Right & wrong and good & bad are thoughts, beliefs. Fixing you would be impossible, because there’s already nothing wrong with you and you are already not a thing / that there isn’t separation, that there aren’t actually separate things is already the case.

 

The Truth is already the case, and is uncovered. Not obtained, not attained, not in a future, not a result of anything (such as fixing, learning, doing, believing, etc). 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

What do you mean by "acknowledging overwhelment"?

Not acknowledging a discordant emotion is not acknowledging the emotion is felt as guidance for the thoughts. Non-acknowledgement sounds like ‘it’s because of the world, someone else, a past or future, the way I am, the way it is, I can’t, it’s impossible, I’m not like you, I don’t understand, I don’t know what you know,’, etc, etc, etc. It sounds like anything other than - simply expressing that the emotion is felt. 

 

When a discordant emotion is acknowledged, and not projected, inevitably it dawns on you what’s felt is the discord of thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, interpretations, etc.  That there isn’t actually anything wrong with you, there’s a belief that there is, and there is how the belief feels… which is discordant… because there isn’t. 

 

For clarity sake - do not listen to me. Listen to the Truth felt.

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

"Worked" as in feeling better. "Worked" as in there being an insight, a realization, a learning of something new that helps to feel better.

This is a framing of some thing needs to be added (an insight, realization, learning, some new thing) or obtained to feel better. That’s not what I’m saying at all. That’s the opposite. That’s the ‘hamster wheel’, the ‘rollercoaster’, the utterly hopeless seeking for some thing that will make this wholeness whole. 

 

The nondual infinite goodness you are is already the case, and all beliefs to the contrary are felt as discordant. 

 

I am repeatedly suggesting inspecting, questioning beliefs, and therein uncovering, unfettering, letting go of whatever is discordant.

It seems that you are somehow nonetheless hearing “something’s wrong with you and this will fix it / work”. 

This is the ‘bursting your bubbles’ thingy. 

https://youtu.be/Lh3vzgLKqt0

Reality seems a certain way through the bubbles (beliefs, activity of thought) in the lens. When ‘popped’, reality no longer seems that way / is more ‘seen’ as is. It’s basically just like cleaning your glasses, but instead of being about visual seeing, it’s about how thoughts feel. Alignment & discord. Emotions. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

When you say "listening to the emotional guidance", what do you mean?

Nip it in the bud. A few days ago when you made a mockery of the scale, for whatever reason you said expressing overwhelment was impossible. Then you can’t get out of bed. What you resist persists. Expressing is the opposite. A few minutes compared to days, weeks, years, a lifetime. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

 

When you say that I try to feel into the emotion and try to find it. I try to find some sensation. And it starts just feeling worse.

I’m not saying ‘find some sensation’. Sensation is not plural, and is not separate, and is not a thing, and is not things. 

The point of ‘feeling directly into sensation’ is precisely because no edges, borders or separation whatsoever is actually found. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

it starts just feeling worse.

Inspecting is questioning what that “it” actually is. What’s found is “it’s” a discordant belief, thought. 

Not unconditional, infinite ‘sensation’.

It’s how the thought / belief feels to you - which are, ‘sensation’.

 

There’s nothing to learn here.

There’s nothing to know here.

There’s nothing to understand here 

There’s nothing to remember here.

There’s no need to remember anything.

Emotion is self-evident, ever-present guidance. 

Not two peanuts occasionally bumping into eachother in an assumed brain. 

Infinite intelligence. 

Self. 

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

I am experiencing suffering

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-ten-ox-herding-pictures

 

[Someone here]

21 hours ago, Phil said:

There’s nothing wrong with you. 

There’s apparently the belief something’s wrong with you. 

Because there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing to fix. 

 

No longer judging and instead allowing self-love is not a fixing of anything or anyone which there is something wrong with. That would just be more (discordant) judgment and unwillingness to acknowledge emotional guidance (for creating, for what you want, for thoughts, and yet not for an actual ‘separate self’).

Amen 🙏 

I've come to the realisation. There's never been anything wrong with me. But I've always thought there was... Why did I feel different? I'd never felt normal. I was convinced it was a problem with me..and that meant I could fix it. So..I ended up obsessed with self-improvement... If I could just figure out what was wrong with me and fix it.. I'd be happy!

Over the years I've taught myself how to be more confident.. how to make friends, and how to stay out of anxiety which are all great skills ..but let me tell you  when you focus only on your problems.. it's so hard to appreciate yourself for that which you are. Looking back..the only thing 'wrong' with me was the belief that there was something wrong with me. Your internal dialogue becomes so self-critical, which cripples your self-esteemm.. and makes you feel different.. backward, unworthy etc... Despite all of my insecurities and anxiety in the last two years, there was nothing 'wrong' with that kid. That's just the way he was.

@Blessed2It's ok to want to change things about yourself but never forget that there's nothing 'wrong' with you. Never has been. 

[Blessed2]

21 hours ago, Phil said:

There’s nothing wrong with you. 

There’s apparently the belief something’s wrong with you. 

Because there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing to fix. 

 

No longer judging and instead allowing self-love is not a fixing of anything or anyone which there is something wrong with. That would just be more (discordant) judgment and unwillingness to acknowledge emotional guidance (for creating, for what you want, for thoughts, and yet not for an actual ‘separate self’).

 

Meditation & expression are letting go of the belief & the repeating of the belief & judgement ‘something’s wrong with you’. Meditation & expression do not fix anything because there isn’t anything or anyone which is broken to be fixed. Right & wrong and good & bad are thoughts, beliefs. Fixing you would be impossible, because there’s already nothing wrong with you and you are already not a thing / that there isn’t separation, that there aren’t actually separate things is already the case.

 

The Truth is already the case, and is uncovered. Not obtained, not attained, not in a future, not a result of anything (such as fixing, learning, doing, believing, etc). 

 

Something weird and awesome happened while reading this.

 

This is hard to explain, but I've been thinking as if the I was like a specific solid form. Like a puzzle piece that fits and is stuck in certain form (this body, this sensory perspective, these problems with addiction, studies, relationships etc.) As if these things are me. But then I noticed I'm not a solid form that can be stuck anywhere. I'm more like air, free to "move" totally unrestricted.

 

That's very cool. Like lucid dreaming but like a thousand times cooler still.

 

The two spheres thing?!

 

22 hours ago, Phil said:

This is a framing of some thing needs to be added (an insight, realization, learning, some new thing) or obtained to feel better. That’s not what I’m saying at all. That’s the opposite. That’s the ‘hamster wheel’, the ‘rollercoaster’, the utterly hopeless seeking for some thing that will make this wholeness whole. 

 

The nondual infinite goodness you are is already the case, and all beliefs to the contrary are felt as discordant. 

 

I am repeatedly suggesting inspecting, questioning beliefs, and therein uncovering, unfettering, letting go of whatever is discordant.

It seems that you are somehow nonetheless hearing “something’s wrong with you and this will fix it / work”. 

This is the ‘bursting your bubbles’ thingy. 

https://youtu.be/Lh3vzgLKqt0

Reality seems a certain way through the bubbles (beliefs, activity of thought) in the lens. When ‘popped’, reality no longer seems that way / is more ‘seen’ as is. It’s basically just like cleaning your glasses, but instead of being about visual seeing, it’s about how thoughts feel. Alignment & discord. Emotions. 

 

Watched the video again. Very cool!

 

22 hours ago, Phil said:

A few days ago when you made a mockery of the scale, for whatever reason you said expressing overwhelment was impossible. Then you can’t get out of bed. What you resist persists. Expressing is the opposite. A few minutes compared to days, weeks, years, a lifetime. 

 

I was not making mockery of the scale. I experienced blame, but I was sincere.

 

There was no experience of overwhelment to express.

 

[Blessed2]

Where the hell did the idea that I am some specific form even come from? How can one even get that confused? 😂

[Blessed2]

On 5/23/2023 at 2:49 PM, Phil said:

Not acknowledging a discordant emotion is not acknowledging the emotion is felt as guidance for the thoughts. Non-acknowledgement sounds like ‘it’s because of the world, someone else, a past or future, the way I am, the way it is, I can’t, it’s impossible, I’m not like you, I don’t understand, I don’t know what you know,’, etc, etc, etc. It sounds like anything other than - simply expressing that the emotion is felt. 

 

When a discordant emotion is acknowledged, and not projected, inevitably it dawns on you what’s felt is the discord of thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, interpretations, etc.  That there isn’t actually anything wrong with you, there’s a belief that there is, and there is how the belief feels… which is discordant… because there isn’t. 

 

For clarity sake - do not listen to me. Listen to the Truth felt.

 

IMO I very much acknowledge that. As in right now.

 

I am experiencing the emotion despair.

 

That's acknowledging the emotional guidance.

 

I am also experiencing the emotion anger.

 

I am experiencing the emotion pessimism.

 

But there isn't a feeling of release or relief.

 

Therefore obviously it's not quite as you say it is.

 

 

 

Choose the emotion on the scale which is experienced.

Express simply & earnestly that the emotion is experienced.

 

Feel for the subtle shift of feeling better with the expression of each emotion.

 

There is no subtle shift of feeling better.

 

 

[Phil]

@Blessed2

Does boredom feel better than pessimism?

 

1 hour ago, Blessed2 said:

Therefore obviously it's not quite as you say it is.

Just double checking, are we on the page as to what I’m saying it is… that it is actually yourself, unconditional love?
 

[Blessed2]

24 minutes ago, Phil said:

Does boredom feel better than pessimism?

 

Yes.

 

54 minutes ago, Phil said:

Just double checking, are we on the page as to what I’m saying it is… that it is actually yourself, unconditional love?

 

That acknowledging a discordant emotion automatically leads to letting the thought and a feeling of relief / release.

 

 

Though I'm not so sure anymore. I do feel better now.

 

It might feel a bit better not to focus on the thought story, but focusing on the thought "I am experiencing the emotion X" or "I am experiencing suffering." if not sure what emotion is being experienced.

[Phil]

6 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Yes.

That’s all ‘subtle shift’ is pointing to. 

 

6 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

That acknowledging a discordant emotion automatically leads to letting the thought and a feeling of relief / release.

Each emotion feels subtly better than the previous, going from bottom to top, same as how boredom feels better than pessimism. 

It’s expression for the sake of feeling better having let discordant thoughts go. It’s not accumulative. It doesn’t add up to something. There’s no end result. 

If a thought arises about the scale, maybe like not working, not effective enough, doesn’t work for me etc… the scale works for those thought as well.  

 

15 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

Though I'm not so sure anymore. I do feel better now.

Awesome. 

 

16 minutes ago, Blessed2 said:

It might feel a bit better not to focus on the thought story, but focusing on the thought "I am experiencing the emotion X" or "I am experiencing suffering." if not sure what emotion is being experienced.

If there’s any relief, feeling better etc… in not focusing on the thought story… the thought story is therefore discordant. I agree with what you’re saying, keep it simple. Also, the scale is helpful in terms of seeing why the thought story is discordant. 

[Blessed2]

37 minutes ago, Phil said:

Each emotion feels subtly better than the previous, going from bottom to top, same as how boredom feels better than pessimism. 

 

But if I express pessimism, I do not start experiencing boredom. Therefore expressing "I am experiencing the emotion boredom" would just be... A lie.

 

Are you saying to just keep expressing "I am experiencing the emotion pessimism" over and over until I start experiencing boredom?

 

 

[Mandy]

@Blessed2 Have you considered that expectation might be the missing piece here? Does it make sense that the attitude "I don't know, let's see" is more allowing than "it had better work this way, I need it to work this way." In that way the scale encourages bringing curiosity to the emotion, not promised immediate escape. 

 

[Blessed2]

1 hour ago, Mandy said:

Have you considered that expectation might be the missing piece here? Does it make sense that the attitude "I don't know, let's see" is more allowing than "it had better work this way, I need it to work this way." In that way the scale encourages bringing curiosity to the emotion, not promised immediate escape. 

 

I don't know.

[Blessed2]

@Phil I just did the scale like this:

 

I am experiencing the emotion disappointment.

I am experiencing the emotion overwhelment.

I am experiencing the emotion impatience.

I am experiencing the emotion pessimism.

I am experiencing the emotion boredom.

I am experiencing the emotion contentment.

I am experiencing the emotion hopefulness.

I am experiencing the emotion optimism.

I am experiencing the emotion eagerness.

I am experiencing the emotion passion.

I am experiencing the emotion joy.

 

Not really even trying to feel the emotions or trying to get to joy, just starting where I'm at and walking forward from there and at each one mostly just noticing "yeah I can kinda remember how this one might feel" etc. Is this at least a step to the right direction?

[Forza21]

9 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

@Phil I just did the scale like this:

 

I am experiencing the emotion disappointment.

I am experiencing the emotion overwhelment.

I am experiencing the emotion impatience.

I am experiencing the emotion pessimism.

I am experiencing the emotion boredom.

I am experiencing the emotion contentment.

I am experiencing the emotion hopefulness.

I am experiencing the emotion optimism.

I am experiencing the emotion eagerness.

I am experiencing the emotion passion.

I am experiencing the emotion joy.

 

Not really even trying to feel the emotions or trying to get to joy, just starting where I'm at and walking forward from there and at each one mostly just noticing "yeah I can kinda remember how this one might feel" etc. Is this at least a step to the right direction?

Look close into emotions. Is there sensation AND someone or something aware of it ?  Is there an „ i am”  aware off something ?

 

Feel everything that is present right now, and be aware of interpretation your mind is putting on the top of it. It can be thoughts like „i cant handle this” , „this is too much”, „its hopless” „im in hell” .  „This is terrible” „im broken” . Itd. 
 

those are just thoughts.  No need to push them, let them be. Just feel and „die” into sensation that is present right now. 
 

or you could ask „what am i resisting right now?”
 

Notice „resistance” and let it be. Dont fight it, just tap into that. 

 

if its really intense, just lie down on The floor and say to yourself „ok i let it be. Even if i die”. 
 

it is literally about surrender to what is. And what is … is. And its unconditional. 

 

I promise you, you have my word, that theres nothing wrong with emotions you have. It is all unconditional love,  and it wants to express exactly as it is. No need to fight it or change it. 
 

is there any problem RIGHT now?or just  thoughts about a problem ?

Edited May 25, 2023 by Forza21

[Phil]

12 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

But if I express pessimism, I do not start experiencing boredom. Therefore expressing "I am experiencing the emotion boredom" would just be... A lie.

 

Are you saying to just keep expressing "I am experiencing the emotion pessimism" over and over until I start experiencing boredom?

Express any specific pessimistic thoughts that come to mind whatever they might be. Then experience boredom. Sit for a while without any distractions like screens etc. If more pessimistic thoughts arise express them. However long that transpires is fine. Could be minutes could be hours.  Inevitably you’ll have emptied all pessimistic thoughts, interpretations and views, and there’ll be the subtle shift to feeling a little better for having expressed. This happens very naturally because pessimism isn’t indicative of you, or of the true nature we could say, which is why pessimism feels as it does. 

 

10 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

@Phil I just did the scale like this:

 

I am experiencing the emotion disappointment.

I am experiencing the emotion overwhelment.

I am experiencing the emotion impatience.

I am experiencing the emotion pessimism.

I am experiencing the emotion boredom.

I am experiencing the emotion contentment.

I am experiencing the emotion hopefulness.

I am experiencing the emotion optimism.

I am experiencing the emotion eagerness.

I am experiencing the emotion passion.

I am experiencing the emotion joy.

 

Not really even trying to feel the emotions or trying to get to joy, just starting where I'm at and walking forward from there and at each one mostly just noticing "yeah I can kinda remember how this one might feel" etc. Is this at least a step to the right direction?

Is the dreamboard filled with what you actually want?

If yes, is the scale being used in conjunction with that? (vs the scale & expression being ‘this other thing’). 

If no, write a list of what you don’t want (more expression / emptying of pessimism), then later write the opposites and write that (what is wanted) on the dreamboard. 

 

[Phil]

If it’s helpful in drawing out some distinctions or connecting some dots… here’s what comes to mind…

Also, overall, one could question why one is even giving any focus to any of these thoughts… vs focusing on what’s on the dreamboard and expressing what emotions arise. 

 

Also, in considering the suggested methods - notice the emotional scale is not first, it’s sixth. 

How are the rest of the suggested methods going?

Suggested Methods:

Daily morning meditation.

Daily use of an expression journal.

Aligned diet, one small change at a time. 

Inspect thoughts & beliefs, and contemplate truth. 

Create a dreamboard, see & use it daily. 

Use the emotional scale each day to align thought with feeling & create consciously.  

Receive & share the Message Freely.

 

Believing conceptualizations about a ‘separate self’ is emotional aversion. Believing meditation is not foundational is denial of conceptualizing & suppressing emotions. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

It's out of my ability. I don't know how to feel better. I don't know how to reach infinity.

This is conceptualizing about a ‘separate self’ which is lacking ability, knowledge, and assumed to be separate from infinity/love. 

 

(Best guess) The emotions which are felt but ignored via a thought story about a separate / second self are fear / grief / despair / powerlessness. 

 

If it’s assumed there are other separate selves, which do or did reach infinity, there’s likely jealousy felt. This also sounds like discouragement, and there is likely some hatred/rage and anger/revenge to be expressed. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

I don't know what sensations to focus on, how to listen to emotional guidance, what thoughts to think, how to let go discord, how to succeed in alignment and all this.

This is conceptualizing about a ‘separate self’, ‘the knower’, a lack of knowing how, and conceptualizing the scale & expression as a means to an end (success). This conceptualizing about a ‘separate self’ is other-than expressing the emotions felt. 

 

This sounds like worry, doubt & disappointment. There is likely blame to be expressed as well. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

All effort is unsustainable. All trying in unsustainable. You cannot try, you cannot give effort forever. It's unsustainable. You will get tired, you will burn out.

This is conceptualizing about an ‘separate self’; the efforter, the tryer, and what other people or other separate selves can or can’t do and what will happen to them. There’s nothing wrong with any of it. What’s being pointed out is that it’s conceptualizing about a separate self and selves instead of acknowledging the emotions felt, alongside these thoughts.

 

This sounds like disappointment, overwhelment, frustration / irritation / impatience and pessimism. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

All I can do, all I want to do, is how I am when in deep sleep. Total self-unconsciousness.

This is conceptualizing about non existent separate self and sleep, neither of which are actually experienced, as “self-unconsciousness”. That is other than what is actually experienced - emotions. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

That's the only sustainable way to spend an eternity. That's the only way I can be without discord. The only way I can be. The only way eternity can be. The only way peace can be. Anything else must be a "failure". Anything else is "off". I can feel it.

This is conceptualizing about a separate self, separate of eternity, and failure (of or for the separate self). It’s noted that these thoughts feel off, but the emotions experienced as that ‘offness’ aren’t acknowledged. Instead, thoughts / conceptualizations are believed. Emotions are also conceptualized alongside a separate self, the ‘one who feels’ and ‘it’. What’s suggested is specifying which emotions are felt, not defaulting to an ‘it’ or what isn’t actually experienced. 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

It must be done to me, for me. I just want to sleep.

This sounds like ‘and conceptualizing must work for me’ without noticing these thoughts are about a separate self, and not the self which is experiencing emotions. This also has the ‘something is wrong with me and must be fixed for me to be happy’ theme. Nothing must happen for the separate self. There isn’t the separate self of thoughts, there are thoughts that there are. Acknowledge the suffering and adopt the practice of daily meditation. Then there will me much emotion to express. 

 

If it’s helpful, appreciated… give just the first picture a read:

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-ten-ox-herding-pictures

That’s ‘where you’re at’ so to speak. Not literally a separate self of course. Just in denial of suffering & arrogance about using the methods wise. Talking the path, while not noticing the walking the path isn’t actually happening (daily meditation, etc). 

 

On 5/22/2023 at 9:59 AM, Blessed2 said:

 

Yeah I've heard many times how you just gotta give it to God or Source, to let go the wheel and sit on the passenger side. But I don't think that works. I don't think God would do it for me. If I let go the wheel, wouldn't the car just ride off the road and crash.

This is conceptualizing about a separate God, indirectly conceptualizing about being a separate self. 

The denial of noticing the conceptualizing = the aversion from expressing emotions = the unwillingness to adopt the practice(s). 

[Phil]

Your connotation of success is yours. 

Not anyone else’s. 

Wether it feels discordant or aligned - own it. 

If you don’t like it, change it. 

 

If ANYTHING emotion wise is experienced and believed to be about Phil, the forum, the tools, the practices - notice the conceptualization and acknowledge the emotions felt, and consider adopting the methods suggested here. 

[Blessed2]

@Phil I can mindfully breathe right now... But the thought of "regular morning meditation practice" feels discordant.

 

"I will not be able to quiet the mind and feel serene. I will just start feeling worse."

 

But I can breathe mindfully now.

 

"But adopting a regular practice..."