Am I going to regret distancing from my parents?

[Devin]

       My parents aren't evil, they're just stupid normal people, normal selfish manipulation and egotism. I get a little joy seeing them every great once in a while like 2 days out of the year, take my dad golfing or fishing and do gardening with my mom. but if I spend much more time than that it's really draining and I have other things in life that I highly prioritize so I toss them to the side.

 

          Do you think I should try to figure out how to have a better relationship? They're not receptive in conversation about boundaries, well in conversation they act like they are but in practice they just go back to normal. I've never been super close to them, never felt they loved me, but there's obviously sentimental value or maybe it's just resentment there.

Edited March 31 by Devin

[Rose]

I think taking some distance is healthy and necessary for one to become an independent adult. You could have less of a relationship with them now, but have a healthier and better relationship in the future. Thinking about family too much will hold you back in life.

[Phil]

The resentment might be toward the parents but the ‘rub’ of it is that it’s really between you & You. The holder of the hot coal feels the burn. 

It’s well worth it to turn it around, and to communicate with them about what you’ve shared here.  

Powerful tool. 

 

[Mandy]

Distance as in decreasing dependency financially or to meet some emotional needs can be helpful, but I wouldn't love or appreciate them any less. You don't have to feel loved by someone to love them first, not even your parents. There's a very logical human assumption that they came before you did, but as far as love is concerned that isn't the case. Love them first without regard for what comes from it. 

[Joseph Maynor]

This is really hard to give advice about because everyone is different.  I would say family tension and guilt creates a lot of suffering.  Don’t let the relationships get so had they start to do that to you.  You don’t have to communicate much but aim to be on good terms.  Pay attention to how you feel.  Family discord can have a huge impact on well-being speaking from my own experience.  

Edited March 31 by Joseph Maynor