Why men who had many sexual partners are unattractive for long term relationship

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Rose said:

Is there a way to ask this where I wouldn’t sound attacky or judgy? I am not really good with subtle and non direct 😕

I just said “do you think guys who’ve been with a lot of woman are more desirable”.

[Phil]

1 hour ago, Devin said:

Everyone is compatible with everyone actually, so it shows indecisiveness and lack of awareness.

There’s no such thing as lack of awareness. 

[Phil]

@Devin

No.

[Phil]

@Devin

44 minutes ago, Phil said:

There’s no such thing as lack of awareness. 

 

[Rose]

5 hours ago, Phil said:

I just said “do you think guys who’ve been with a lot of woman are more desirable”.

I mean to ask him. If I was to ask him this question to make it not so forward and judgy.

[Phil]

@Rose

Oh 😂 right. 

I’d just ask ‘why is that’, ‘what happens’? And see what he says. 

[WhiteOwl]

On 3/30/2023 at 1:00 AM, Rose said:

Fine, what would you rather me post about here? 

My point was just there won't be any real answer to the question you made.. There are both men who have slept with 1000 women you would be attracted to, and also men who have had 1 partner.. Its not really about that is it? Sounded to me like you wanted validation for your theory to feel better about something, which is not the right route to feel better in my opinion. Maybe i am wrong. 

[Rose]

48 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:

My point was just there won't be any real answer to the question you made.. There are both men who have slept with 1000 women you would be attracted to, and also men who have had 1 partner.. Its not really about that is it? Sounded to me like you wanted validation for your theory to feel better about something, which is not the right route to feel better in my opinion. Maybe i am wrong. 

I personally would not be attracted to a man who slept with a 1000 women, or even 100, or even anything more than 20 would kinda gross me out. 

 

The point of this post was that all these men chasing p**sy are actually shooting themselves in the foot with that, from my POV and all the women I’ve spoken to about this. That having lots of sex with different women is glamorized in men’s culture, but I think it makes men less valuable. 
 

 

 

[Jonas Long]

42 minutes ago, Rose said:

I personally would not be attracted to a man who slept with a 1000 women, or even 100, or even anything more than 20 would kinda gross me out. 

 

The point of this post was that all these men chasing p**sy are actually shooting themselves in the foot with that, from my POV and all the women I’ve spoken to about this. That having lots of sex with different women is glamorized in men’s culture, but I think it makes men less valuable. 
 

 

 

I'm not "chasing pussy" but simply haven't met anybody where it's worked out long term due to compatibility.  There's not much to be done about that, it's not for lack of looking or trying, and I'm not gonna just be celebrate till that happens, so, over time the numbers add up.  So, I sort of take issue with this, but, whatever also, I never claimed to be "well adjusted".

[Mandy]

I agree with Rose that it's a really inaccurate thing to say that the more women you sleep with, the more attractive you are to women. However, there really aren't any good reasons to have limiting beliefs. Sometimes people speak "truths" that aren't in order to help people let go of limiting beliefs. Anything you say about "men" or "women" as a whole isn't ever going to be truly accurate. 

[WhiteOwl]

@Mandy At the same its also inaccurate to say that the less women you sleep with, the more attractive you are. Or the more women you sleep with, the less attractive you are.

 

Of course you could think of some extreme, but experience usually makes good. People can change at any moment.. of course maybe they won't.. but 

36 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Anything you say about "men" or "women" as a whole isn't ever going to be truly accurate. 

 

Edited March 31, 2023 by WhiteOwl

[Mandy]

@WhiteOwl Yes. You could look at it like everyone prefers experience versus inexperience or you could look at it like everyone prefers the side of the birthday cake that has not been sneezed on. IMO both opposite ways of considering that would be "out of the Vortex" and somewhat dehumanizing ways of looking at another person, when what we are truly head over heels taken away with attracted to can't really be logically understood anyway. 

[WhiteOwl]

1 hour ago, Rose said:

or even anything more than 20 would kinda gross me out. 

 

1 hour ago, Rose said:

but I think it makes men less valuable. 

 

Shaming people for wanting to explore and have different sexual experiences with many partners and putting value stickers on them for it. 

 

On my dreamboard: Rose makes a thread about the positive, admirable and lovely aspects of men 

[Rose]

32 minutes ago, WhiteOwl said:

Rose makes a thread about the positive, admirable and lovely aspects of men 

But I do consider it a positive admirable trait if the guy is not sexually promiscuous 😭

[Phil]

@Rose

4 hours ago, Rose said:

having lots of sex with different women is glamorized in men’s culture

I haven’t found that to be accurate at all. In a tiny micro culture of primarily teen to 20ish guys, yes. I can tell you however, that in any circle of men if a guy was saying the things you’re saying some other guy will always say “dude you just need to get laid”. And then some other dude will always go “yeeeeep”. 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

On 3/27/2023 at 10:15 PM, Rose said:

Some people believe that men who had many sexual partners and one night stands are somehow high value. 
 

I think for me and most of my friends and women I’ve talked to about this, not only is it false, but it’s the opposite of that. Most women find it gross if a guy has been super “promiscuous”, they don’t feel sex is special with that guy - he is able to have sex with anything, so why would it be special with them? Women need to feel special and connected for them to have great sex.

 

I think that is why men who have lots of sexual partners just remain single/rotating partners forever. It’s not just their choice, women don’t want to commit to them long term themselves. Women can’t love these men long term and don’t feel safe with them.

It could be also the other way. Men who have lots of sexual partners remain single/rotate partners precisely because they can do it.

 

Although I guess the sweet dose its in the balance. Prolly a guy that has enough experience but not too much, is the most attractive for women. 

[ConsciousDreamer666]

On 3/31/2023 at 11:08 PM, Rose said:

 

 

The point of this post was that all these men chasing p**sy are actually shooting themselves in the foot with that, from my POV and all the women I’ve spoken to about this. That having lots of sex with different women is glamorized in men’s culture, but I think it makes men less valuable. 
 

 

 

I don't think most men are chasing "p**sy" to become more attractive, but rather for the experience. At least that was the case in the past.

[Jonas Long]

No guy really feels the way "guys" feel about things. 

[Lehrling]

Some men need experience with women as a form or exploration.  It's like going on an adventure.  Very few in my way of looking at it. Those are authentic in it, you can see it in them.

Others want to burry their pain or try to be something they are not, too many  in my way of looking at it.

 

Sometimes People just come together in different constelations because of a free way of relating to one another.

 

Some people can intuite what it does to someone subconsciously when men have sex randomly.

Edited April 11, 2023 by Lehrling

[Phil]

@Rose

What might be unattractive, and like a tuning fork to an E string, is they’re looking for (currently depending on) the ever elusive objective happiness. It’s a nonissue for happiness, and an apparent issue if in the same boat. The ol stand off.