catastrophizing

[Phil]

58 minutes ago, Kevin said:

Yeah sorry I feel like I’m beating a dead horse here but I feel like I’m in some kind of crisis. I feel super anxious, no appetite, barely slept for 2 days. Something feels really off. I might be sick. Idk maybe I need time

It sounds like it’s what’s referred to as a spiritual crisis. It’s not beating a dead horse at all. No worries! 

 

Like a purge / purification. ‘The body’ is love. The mind can hold discord, like the resentment you’ve mentioned or whatever term to call it. The relevant factor is it’s discordant to the body, because the body is unconditional love. So the mind can hold a condition, withhold love, even though it’s in discord with the body. Of course this gets tiresome, stressful etc, and the desire to feel better builds. Then one starts to change one’s mind and see things differently. Essentially the body is then like ‘that’s what I’m talkin about’. But the mind can’t make the body feel better. The body is already unconditional love. Feeling better looks like a ‘purge’ of the discord. 

 

Just like when you barf what you ate, you taste it on the way out… same with the thoughts / interpretations. It’s mentally ‘tasted’ on the way out. But it does empty out. It just ‘tastes’ terrible on the way out. Put it does pass, and then there is more mind - body alignment. More love in the body and mind so to speak. And that’s what’s wanted. 

 

So nuts as it might otherwise sound, this purge is what you want. It can get rough as hell while it’s happening. Just as when barfing up food / food poisoning, or having drank too much alcohol… the one thing you don’t want is more of that food or alcohol. It’s the same with thoughts / the mind. This can be confusing because of the tendency to ‘solve’ or ‘figure out’, which is basically like continuing to eat the same poisoning food or alcohol. It’s keeping the same discord, same subject in mind. 

 

Have to let go. It helps to recognize it’s a ‘barfing’, and that it’s in the slightly longer term, what’s wanted. 

 

With respect to ‘super anxious’… mindfully, purposefully inwardly acknowledge that you are listening to the body. That you are listening to feeling. Feel inwardly deeper & deeper. Feel through the muscle, ligaments, etc, to the bones. Relax to the bones. It will subside. The mind will likely try to get the attention on the discordant subject, person, relationship, concern, or what have you. That’s fine. Just return attention inwardly to feeling, and feel deeper and deeper into the body, relaxing. Take deep mindful breaths. Mindful as in feel the breath. Coming into the nose. Into the lungs. Filling the body with life, with newness, with presence. Allow all the muscles, the entire body to relax and ‘sink’ into gravity. ‘Be where you are’. Labelling helps calm / helps anxiety subside. “This is my lamp”. “This is my chair”. Also assure the body… “I am ok”. “All is well”. “I am loved”. “God is present”.  Etc. Helps with the ‘being where you are’. With presence. 

 

Distraction can be useful. Like watching a comedy or a Disney movie, even if you’re not at all in the mood for it. Something light like that. 

 

On the no appetite… think about why people fast. It allows the body to purge. I wouldn’t think of it as a problem or worry about it. The body will also naturally regain appetite. Be assured the body is infinity intelligent. It knows what it’s doing so to speak. Think about how all the cells divide & the body grows without any need for instructions or learning, how brilliant the immune system is, etc. This is acknowledging & respecting the body. The response will be calmness, ease, alignment, lightness.  

 

Don’t worry about sleep. The body needs rest / relaxation. it’s been through a lot you know? Now the mind & body are getting on the same page. This is what it looks like. It’s natural and good. Soon there will be insights in hindsight. You’ll  feel better than you have in a long time. Day to day concerns will seem lighter. Optimism will come easier than ever. It’s all worth it. Hang in there bud. Much love. 

[Kevin]

3 hours ago, Phil said:

It sounds like it’s what’s referred to as a spiritual crisis. It’s not beating a dead horse at all. No worries! 

 

Like a purge / purification. ‘The body’ is love. The mind can hold discord, like the resentment you’ve mentioned or whatever term to call it. The relevant factor is it’s discordant to the body, because the body is unconditional love. So the mind can hold a condition, withhold love, even though it’s in discord with the body. Of course this gets tiresome, stressful etc, and the desire to feel better builds. Then one starts to change one’s mind and see things differently. Essentially the body is then like ‘that’s what I’m talkin about’. But the mind can’t make the body feel better. The body is already unconditional love. Feeling better looks like a ‘purge’ of the discord. 

 

Just like when you barf what you ate, you taste it on the way out… same with the thoughts / interpretations. It’s mentally ‘tasted’ on the way out. But it does empty out. It just ‘tastes’ terrible on the way out. Put it does pass, and then there is more mind - body alignment. More love in the body and mind so to speak. And that’s what’s wanted. 

 

So nuts as it might otherwise sound, this purge is what you want. It can get rough as hell while it’s happening. Just as when barfing up food / food poisoning, or having drank too much alcohol… the one thing you don’t want is more of that food or alcohol. It’s the same with thoughts / the mind. This can be confusing because of the tendency to ‘solve’ or ‘figure out’, which is basically like continuing to eat the same poisoning food or alcohol. It’s keeping the same discord, same subject in mind. 

 

Have to let go. It helps to recognize it’s a ‘barfing’, and that it’s in the slightly longer term, what’s wanted. 

 

With respect to ‘super anxious’… mindfully, purposefully inwardly acknowledge that you are listening to the body. That you are listening to feeling. Feel inwardly deeper & deeper. Feel through the muscle, ligaments, etc, to the bones. Relax to the bones. It will subside. The mind will likely try to get the attention on the discordant subject, person, relationship, concern, or what have you. That’s fine. Just return attention inwardly to feeling, and feel deeper and deeper into the body, relaxing. Take deep mindful breaths. Mindful as in feel the breath. Coming into the nose. Into the lungs. Filling the body with life, with newness, with presence. Allow all the muscles, the entire body to relax and ‘sink’ into gravity. ‘Be where you are’. Labelling helps calm / helps anxiety subside. “This is my lamp”. “This is my chair”. Also assure the body… “I am ok”. “All is well”. “I am loved”. “God is present”.  Etc. Helps with the ‘being where you are’. With presence. 

 

Distraction can be useful. Like watching a comedy or a Disney movie, even if you’re not at all in the mood for it. Something light like that. 

 

On the no appetite… think about why people fast. It allows the body to purge. I wouldn’t think of it as a problem or worry about it. The body will also naturally regain appetite. Be assured the body is infinity intelligent. It knows what it’s doing so to speak. Think about how all the cells divide & the body grows without any need for instructions or learning, how brilliant the immune system is, etc. This is acknowledging & respecting the body. The response will be calmness, ease, alignment, lightness.  

 

Don’t worry about sleep. The body needs rest / relaxation. it’s been through a lot you know? Now the mind & body are getting on the same page. This is what it looks like. It’s natural and good. Soon there will be insights in hindsight. You’ll  feel better than you have in a long time. Day to day concerns will seem lighter. Optimism will come easier than ever. It’s all worth it. Hang in there bud. Much love. 

Thanks Phil. I think I was and honestly still am kind of tripping because focus wasn’t on these negative topics for a while and now it’s like it’s just coming up rapid fire. Maybe I was avoiding and running from this for a while.

 

I think you’re right though this is a good thing in the long term. I definitely wish I could sleep though.

[Phil]

@Kevin

🙏🏻 

Relax about the actually falling asleep. Just rest. 

[Kevin]

3 minutes ago, Phil said:

@Kevin

🙏🏻

Relax about the actually falling asleep. Just rest. 

Definitely thanks man

🙏 

[Mandy]

@Kevin Can you get out in nature? 

[Kevin]

3 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Kevin Can you get out in nature? 

I could but it’s super cold out.

[Mandy]

@Kevin Even more reason to do so. There's no bad weather, just inadequate clothing. 

[Kevin]

3 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Kevin Even more reason to do so. There's no bad weather, just inadequate clothing. 

Thanks for the suggestion I’m gonna go for a short hike and see how I feel.

[Mandy]

@Devin 😂 Yup! 

[Mandy]

@Kevin Did you try going for a hike or getting outside? 

 

I've found that if I'm having trouble sleeping, a banana, or some carbs late at night that are super easy to digest can really help. That plus exercise and an hour or two outdoors results in the best ever sleep. Even better is being outside during or before sunset. Not eating ironically "feeds" the no sleeping thing. Occasionally in life this happens when things get intense and it can be very cleansing and purifying, but if there's suffering with it, I'd break that cycle, and eat a banana before bed. 

[Kevin]

27 minutes ago, Mandy said:

@Kevin Did you try going for a hike or getting outside? 

 

I've found that if I'm having trouble sleeping, a banana, or some carbs late at night that are super easy to digest can really help. That plus exercise and an hour or two outdoors results in the best ever sleep. Even better is being outside during or before sunset. Not eating ironically "feeds" the no sleeping thing. Occasionally in life this happens when things get intense and it can be very cleansing and purifying, but if there's suffering with it, I'd break that cycle, and eat a banana before bed. 

Not a long hike but I was outside for a while. I walked for like 5 minutes then I sat down for like an hour outside. And yeah a banana or something before bed would probably help. Idk I’m definitely feeling better than when I started this thread. I think when I started this thread I was feeling despair and hopelessness but now I just feel sad. Like I need to cry.

I’ll probably watch a sad movie today and see if that works.

 

Also with sleep me getting outside everyday and exercising as well would help. I’ve been sick and my motivation has been super low and I haven’t wanted to exercise. But I’m feeling better than before so I’ll probably get back in the gym soon.

[Mandy]

@Kevin How are things? 

[Kevin]

7 hours ago, Mandy said:

@Kevin How are things? 

Things are better. I’m not feeling despair anymore. Definite improvements from last week. But now I feel super sensitive. Like my feelings are more intense.

[Blessed2]

On 3/27/2023 at 11:31 PM, Kevin said:

definitely a similar feeling as when my first girlfriend broke up with me. The interpretation was that I did it all wrong and if I’d been cooler and a better guy she would have liked me more. But then I must have felt super unlovable to start with and that’s why it meant so much that she dated me. Because that meant I was lovable and then when she broke up with me then I wasn’t any more.

 

Sorry for popping in pretty late but I really feel you dude, I had a similar experience with my first girlfriend.

 

Something about it changed my life. Like that relationship / experience was my bridge between childhood and teenage and the sort of beginning of young adulthood maybe. After that, everything started to seem kind of serious and... Hard.

 

The whole relationship didn't last that long... Just a few months. But it was emotionally really hard. Now that I think back, it was probably the most emotionally hard times I never had had. I remember feeling a lot of insecurity. There was grownup feelings toward girls ya know, but still felt sort of like a child. And felt super insecure about some of the older guys I though she might find more mature etc. So there was this constant insecurity, jealousy and trying to make an impression etc.

 

For example, I remember that she had had her first drinking party right before we met. Felt jealous and like I was missing out. She was a excited and eager to talk about it, but I couldn't feel happy for her cause I felt the insecurity etc.

 

When we eventually broke up, I felt devastated and got drunk for the first time. Just stole a bunch of hard liquor from my parents' closet. Just wanted to feel like a grownup I guess.

 

After all that it seems like something hasn't been sitting quite right. Maybe I swallowed something that was not quite meant to be swallowed.

 

Sorry, not meaning to use your thread for my stuff. It just sort of came up now. There's something about first girlfriends!

[Kevin]

2 hours ago, Blessed2 said:

 

Sorry for popping in pretty late but I really feel you dude, I had a similar experience with my first girlfriend.

 

Something about it changed my life. Like that relationship / experience was my bridge between childhood and teenage and the sort of beginning of young adulthood maybe. After that, everything started to seem kind of serious and... Hard.

 

The whole relationship didn't last that long... Just a few months. But it was emotionally really hard. Now that I think back, it was probably the most emotionally hard times I never had had. I remember feeling a lot of insecurity. There was grownup feelings toward girls ya know, but still felt sort of like a child. And felt super insecure about some of the older guys I though she might find more mature etc. So there was this constant insecurity, jealousy and trying to make an impression etc.

 

For example, I remember that she had had her first drinking party right before we met. Felt jealous and like I was missing out. She was a excited and eager to talk about it, but I couldn't feel happy for her cause I felt the insecurity etc.

 

When we eventually broke up, I felt devastated and got drunk for the first time. Just stole a bunch of hard liquor from my parents' closet. Just wanted to feel like a grownup I guess.

 

After all that it seems like something hasn't been sitting quite right. Maybe I swallowed something that was not quite meant to be swallowed.

 

Sorry, not meaning to use your thread for my stuff. It just sort of came up now. There's something about first girlfriends!

All good man. That is very relevant. I’m untangling similar stuff. All of my suffering revolves around my views and my thoughts on women and it sounds like you have some stuff on your mind as well.

 

and that last part where you say you might have swallowed something but your not sure what. I totally relate. I’m not sure what exactly it is.

[Mandy]

15 hours ago, Kevin said:

Things are better. I’m not feeling despair anymore. Definite improvements from last week. But now I feel super sensitive. Like my feelings are more intense.

🙏  It's very to hear the guidance clearly.