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The Masculine vs. The Feminine Thread


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Let's have our Masculine vs. Feminine discussions here.  You can think of Masculine as Yang and Feminine as Yin too.  Those are just the Chinese terms.  This way I can stop driving people crazy in here using this terminology that may appear very foreign and even downright scary to those who haven't dealt with this duality much.  I've been integrating this duality for at least 6 years now both in my theory/models and practice/embodiment.  There's no model in development work that gets as deep as this model in my opinion.  This is a high level model -- to the extent we use models, as we all do!

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Joseph Maynor’s "Lines of Possible Development Work" Model 
 

NOTE:  These are not in any hierarchical order
 

Liberation/Freedom — burning all models and “doing the work” down 
——
The Integral — integration of shadow of all of these areas including Liberation/Freedom
——
The Divine Marriage — Divine relations (between DM and DF)
The Divine Masculine — The Divine I (Divine Individual)
The Divine Feminine — The Divine No Self (Divine Whole)
——
The human Marriage — human relations (between hM and hF)
The human Masculine — the human me
The human feminine — the human we/us

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Posted (edited)

[This is just my definition and I'm not saying this should be your definition!]  Shadow in the broadest sense is what you trample underfoot because you fail to integrate that yet at least in part.  Your shadow is what you boo! that exists in reality.  Everybody has shadow issues.  Integration work is becoming less fearful about things that have been historically shunned away by you.  Every particular person has a unique shadow and that changes in space and time as your life goes on.  This goes beyond the Jungian sense of shadow.  This is my own thinking after doing this work for years.  It makes sense to me, but I also realize others are gonna have to wrestle with what the shadow is during their life.  I don't want to shove my ideas down anyone's throat, but I love my ideas too, and I love to contribute my words and ideas to try to aid others on their paths. 

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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11 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Your shadow is what you boo!


What you obsessively boo & what you obsessively praise as well.

 

Shadow is inherently dualistic, there is something being projected that cannot be accepted within yourself. “I’m not like that” “I can’t be like that” which could be anything from being a total hateful asshole, to being a loving saint. “I can’t be loving” can be a shadow just as much as “I am not an asshole” can be, hiding your asshole or loving nature projecting it somewhere else other then you.

 

Shadows are subject-object thoughts that hide a trait, we like or don’t like, and feel we cannot be like that. 
 

Edited by Loop

Ten thousand tears,

One Belly Laugh.

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1 hour ago, Loop said:

What you obsessively boo & what you obsessively praise as well.

 

Shadow is inherently dualistic, there is something being projected that cannot be accepted within yourself. “I’m not like that” “I can’t be like that” which could be anything from being a total hateful asshole, to being a loving saint. “I can’t be loving” can be a shadow just as much as “I am not an asshole” can be, hiding your asshole or loving nature projecting it somewhere else other then you.

 

Shadows are subject-object thoughts that hide a trait, we like or don’t like, and feel we cannot be like that. 


I appreciate this response.  I think it’s important to add something too — just because something is in your shadow doesn’t mean you’re bad for avoiding it.  Staying away from a rabid dog so as to not be bitten is good, for example.  It’s nuanced.  It’s things that are in your shadow unreasonably that’s bad.  It’s things you can integrate and accept to grow you but you don’t that’s the key issue from a development work standpoint.  It’s like a dumb fear (or sticking fingers in one’s ears) causing them to stay the same that’s the issue when you could be developing and growing through expansion or integration from my point of view.   Some people will disagree with this and think finding the one right cave  (and ideology) in life is ideal.  I might have those people somewhat in my shadow.  I acknowledge that.  I’m very progressive minded.  That might be my bias.  

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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18 minutes ago, Mandy said:

Once you fully see what in your shadow, it's not anymore, since you are the light. 

 

If someone tried to attack you on the street you would have an idea of me and the other fast.  That idea is fine when you’re safe and comfortable and secure.  This whole No You thing across the board is untenable to me.   I know what it is and it’s important to integrate, but from my perspective it’s not the be all end all.  It’s sort of like Leo thinking I am God is the be all end all — no that’s something to integrate but not the whole thing.  From my perspective of course.  Obviously people are going to differ in opinion on what I’m saying here.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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1 hour ago, Mandy said:

without thinking I slammed on the brakes.


When I box my friend, I get the best hits in when I just allow instinct/ intuition to take over. That is how you wanna train in martial arts, so that when someone actually wants to hurt you, there is no-mind, no thought of them & me, nothing, just so to speak energy, flow. Instant response. 🥊🫠

No ideology what so ever. 

There is a difference between reprogramming, and deprogramming. 
Reprogramming is going to continue to play with shadows, but deprogramming will just leave you with the Authentic Self, as shadow dynamics are made conscious, and reintegrated. 
 

The shadow dance is a dance between freedom & safety. 
Enlightenment & Embodiment. 
 

Ten thousand tears,

One Belly Laugh.

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Saying a person is lacking  in "the feminine" and therefor have the feminine in their shadow is a mistake.  Because your shadow is always what you already are but don't acknowledge or see in yourself.   the dominant male culture/the patriarchy is male toxicity already, meaning that is the shadow it is unaware of.  Shadow issues need to be dealt with before you begin to integrate anything that is other. 

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I want to offer something that I see that I think can help you.  There's a difference between the human Feminine and the Divine Feminine.  The Divine Feminine is more Masculine than the human Feminine is.  The human is Feminine and the Divine is Masculine -- although we can apportion the human and the Divine into Masculine and Feminine parts.  That said, feelings are human Feminine not Divine Feminine.  The Divine Feminine accepts everything irrespective of feeling.  So you can see how anyone primarily functioning from the Divine is already kind of Masculine.  This is why the Divine Feminine can and often does have feeling in her shadow.  Anger for example -- that's human Feminine.  So if you have the human Feminine in your shadow even if you're functioning in the Divine Feminine primarily, this can arise where you're sort of tone deaf with how to receive and process feelings and emotions.   You want to snuff those away and take a kind of universal acceptance perspective as the Divine Feminine.  Like the Buddhist monk lighting himself on fire pretending that it doesn't hurt like hell.  That's spiritual bypassing for someone who's integrated the Divine but has the human in their shadow -- specifically the human Feminine.  A lot of people have the human Feminine in their shadow.  It's very common.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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