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Cupcake
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This will be the format of my journaling henceforth. 

 

 

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Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I need people with 7 qualities in my life. 

 

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72vypf.gifPeople who understand me

 

 

72vypf.gifPeople who know how to trust me 

 

 

72vypf.gifPeople who show me maturity 

 

 

72vypf.gifPeople who are competent 

 

 

72vypf.gifPeople who know to exactly handle me and the drama that is created 

 

 

72vypf.gifPeople who are totally fair and not biased.

 

 

72vypf.gifHealthy, honest, non judgemental, direct, confrontational and extremely loving, courageous, protective, matured, forgiving and extremely competent. 

 

 

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Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I'm trying to make a list of fragrances that are really suitable for me. 

 

Lavender 

Cedarwood

Bergamot 

Peppermint 

Sandalwood 

Macadamia 

Almond 

Honey 

Lemongrass 

Beer

Nutty

Red velvet cake 

 

 

 

 

 

Update 1

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I also had a ton of discomfort in my tummy yesterday. 

 

 

Update 2

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Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I just woke up. 

Friday January 27.

I am gonna have tea and I don't know. 

 

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I had cereals for breakfast. With honey. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Now I'm watching TV and I'll be having lunch. A bit depressed. 

I bought a lipstick to feel better. 

I'm trying to forget Actualized.org forever and remove that place from my head. 

I feel secure and safe on this website. 

Slowly and gradually the poison of Actualized.org is leaving me. 

 

I was heavily traumatized there and I'm in therapy and recovering. 

 

 

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Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I am investing a bit into cosmetics to feel better. 

I bought products from bath and body works. 

 

I had a fresh cold shower and I used this new gel. And it was pink in color and it was nice. Very effective at cleaning. 

 

And I used a new orange colored shampoo and it was really good too. Gave me a fresh feeling. 

I don't like the ones heavily loaded with chemicals. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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Yesterday I purchased some baby shampoo because my hair has become very delicate. So the baby shampoo is kinda gentle. It also has a mild fragrance. All other shampoos are way too strong in their fragrance and I get a headache. 

So these baby shampoos are quite mild with a good smell. 

One of them I really liked. 

I never gonna purchase those high end shampoos with strong fragrance. 

I literally love the fragrance. 

 

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I have to remember to empower myself. I don't know where the next leg of my journey is going to take me. I also need to import some of my entries. I have to live. I have to nurture myself. I learned some lessons. In fact I learned a lot of lessons. I feel like I am growing up really fast. This has always been the case. 

 

 

Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I'm doing fine. I don't have anything to worry. 

(never   bb me with personal stuff) 

 

 

 

Actualized.org is no more a part of my life. I had a bad experience there and I had planned long ago back in November/December that I would be out of that place some day somehow. Leo had been building too much pressure on me on a personal level. He had threatened to ban me on multiple times. So it was getting a bit not so comfy in that place for a long time. I'm glad that  somehow im no longer having to be there. And I'm free. I have zero purpose to answer any questions related to that place since it doesn't exist in my Self-o-phere anymore. 

I'd like to quote what Proserpina said about that place because that resonates with me as well. 

So I quote Proserpina - 

 

"I've decided to probably stick to using this public journal now.   I don't particular enjoy having Leo breathing down my neck, watching my every movement, fearing I'm going to be IP banned any moment like before.  It's painful.  Atleast here, I can breath easy and express my self in a relatively similar format (with some downsides).  It's like I was crucified for jaywalking.  I want to express myself freely,  I like to write free flowing what he deems 'verbal diarreah'.  My disability, what I have had no choice in having had to live with, is called unhinged by him.

 

I already feel infinitely better here.  I don't even care if anyone even reads my journal as long as I psychologically know it's public then that makes the difference in how I write and formulate my thoughts.   I put more effort into my thoughts and writings.  I need a place without Leo breathing down my neck but not a discord.   Discord formats don't work for me for some reason. "

 

I couldn't have expressed it better than Proserpina. 

Yes you can't develop or grow in a place where you feel constant fear running down your neck. 

 

It's unhealthy. Period. 

 

 

Edited by Cupcake

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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I'm already in therapy.. And I'm always facing difficulties being too close to people online so I kinda avoid that, I can get hyper nervous because I have social anxiety. I have to be around people who already know me in real life since many years, someone who I can actually sit down to lunch with. 

 

 

Everything is beautiful

My Snapchat handle is valleymind1 

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