Social Anxiety at Work

[Orb]

But how will sentences be written, how will there be communication without the word I?

[Phil]

@Orb

Without presumption. Pure. Ineffable. Magic. 

 

No act, no activity, no writing, no communication, etc, requires a separate self. 

Which is super convenient, because there’s no separate self. 

 

Ever notice every one is referring to the self with the same name? 

I. 

For all the made up selves though, to reference, names are just made up. 

Phil. Orb. Etc. 

 

What’s prior to the thought, “I”?

 

How long (so to speak) does it take to relax, breathe, and be?

How long (very much so to speak) are you giving yourself to “return” to the peace you already are?

[Eternal]

6 minutes ago, Phil said:

There’s no “I”. That’s presumptive. 

There’s no “doer”. That’s presumptive. 

There’s no “I” in “time”. That’s presumptive. 

There’s no “suggester”. That’s presumptive. 

There’s no “separate self” which feels happy. That’s presumptive. 

There’s no “I” which “gets back to some place”. That’s presumptive. 

 

Love is love. 

Happiness is happiness. 

Love is happiness, happiness is love. 

There is no second. 

 

 

LOOOOOVEEEEE 💕

[Orb]

@Phil it takes maybe 20 minutes but it goes away quick and doesn't matter anymore. I meditated for 40 minutes last night and felt the vast expansive awareness and then after I felt just as shitty as before.

[Orb]

I can't do this anymore, this is too much for me, I want to fail, I want to crash and burn.

 

 

[Phil]

@Eternal 🤍 🙏🏻 

[Phil]

4 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Phil it takes maybe 20 minutes but it goes away quick and doesn't matter anymore. I meditated for 40 minutes last night and felt the vast expansive awareness and then after I felt just as shitty as before.

That’s a story about a self in time. It’s thoughts, believed, now. 

Ten seconds. That’s it. So to speak, give yourself ten seconds. 

[Phil]

7 minutes ago, Orb said:

I can't do this anymore, this is too much for me, I want to fail, I want to crash and burn.

 

 

Yeah, do that! 

(*Don’t harm any body in any way.)

[Mandy]

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Do you think I can turn this tractor trailer around on a dime? Objects have momentum, but you do not. That's how you can always pivot, because you are no object, but only now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Eternal]

2 hours ago, Orb said:

I can't do this anymore, this is too much for me, I want to fail, I want to crash and burn.

 

 

 I'd recommend reading conversations with god if you have not already. Something clicked for me when I read those books. 

[almond]

if i'm not me then what am i. 

i dont feel like doing anything about anything

Edited January 12, 2023 by almond

[Eternal]

1 hour ago, almond said:

if i'm not me then what am i. 

i dont feel like doing anything about anything

 "If i'm not me then what am I" is another thought which is awarness is aware of. 

 

Awareness is also aware of "I don't feel like doing anything about anything" 

 

One thought at a time so to speak, in the eternal moment of the now. 

 

Awareness does not judge whether a thought is good or bad, it simply allows the freedom to create the reality we so desire.

Edited January 12, 2023 by Eternal

[almond]

On 1/11/2023 at 10:16 PM, Phil said:

@Orb

Without presumption. Pure. Ineffable. Magic. 

 

No act, no activity, no writing, no communication, etc, requires a separate self. 

Which is super convenient, because there’s no separate self. 

 

Ever notice every one is referring to the self with the same name? 

I. 

For all the made up selves though, to reference, names are just made up. 

Phil. Orb. Etc. 

 

What’s prior to the thought, “I”?

 

How long (so to speak) does it take to relax, breathe, and be?

How long (very much so to speak) are you giving yourself to “return” to the peace you already are?

so when theres no thought.. or if there's just inspired action mostly, then the doer is not there? the 'i' fades out?

I'm tryingg to understand something 

[almond]

@Eternal so basically: Create. Dont think. Feel and  "Do' and even then you arent 'doing' (if its something u want to experience) ?

and if not to create. then wu wei.. 

Edited January 12, 2023 by almond

[Phil]

56 minutes ago, almond said:

so when theres no thought.. or if there's just inspired action mostly, then the doer is not there? the 'i' fades out?

I'm tryingg to understand something 

It’s a matter of not believing thoughts, as “the doer” (“ego”, “separate self”, “suffering”) is only the believing of thoughts.

It’s not that via meditation the doer isn’t there anymore. “The doer” is already not present. “There” is also only the thought “there”.

It’s that meditation is allowing the activity of thought, (the doer, ego, separate self) to quiet, or calm, or more literally, disappear without reappearing, simply by focusing on the breath instead. 

All that “fades out”, is suffering, and the illusion of an “understander”. 

 

There’s no such actual experience as social anxiety. That’s a term coined which covers up that the suffering is actually how the thoughts feel to infinite being, about there being, a second or separate self.

 

[Phil]

On 1/10/2023 at 9:38 AM, Orb said:

I've been working in this company for almost 2.5 years! Everyday in the group meetings I stay quiet. My throat closes up and mind goes blank. I was supposed to show a report in our meeting but stayed quiet. I'm pissed off about this 😤😤😤

The throat closing up is indicative of the pressing issue of expressing emotion. Expression wise, not specifically at work at all, just saying what you want to say, how you feel, whatever you need to say & express. Empty both barrels of shame at the therapists, leave with nothing. 

 

The mind goes blank because it’s overwhelmed with the stress of suppression. Expression of emotions experienced is the release. Throat won’t close up and mind won’t go blank anymore. 

 

Side note, from ‘over here’ or ‘the outside’, you’re doing great. You’re way to critical, too hard on yourself. Knock it off. 🙂

[Orb]

@Phil i appreciate what youre saying. But wasnt me posting on this forum about the social anxiety a form of expressing how i felt at that moment?

Edited January 13, 2023 by Orb

[Orb]

@Phil and also thanks for the reassurance from the outside, i look in the mirror and notice im in the greatest shape ive ever been. I look better and diet wise feel better. Emotions are gonna be expressed, coming soon!

[Phil]

15 minutes ago, Orb said:

@Phil i appreciate what youre saying. But wasnt me posting on this forum about the social anxiety a form of expressing how i felt at that moment?

Yes. It’s expressing a concept. A conceptualization. A belief. A cover story.

How does that concept (social anxiety) feel - to you? 

Discordant.

Which emotion?

 

See what I’m sayin or no?

 

[Orb]

@Phil it was fear/grief/despair/powerlessness. I took a quick look at the scale and I felt better just looking at it. okay, there is hope. The puzzle pieces are being put together, but im still not 100 percent hnderstanding what youre trying to transmit here.