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To What Extent Should One Take Oneself Seriously vs. Laughing at Oneself


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53 minutes ago, arjuna said:

Laughter is expansive, taking yourself seriously is restrictive.  So which do you prefer?


But you take yourself seriously too.  All of us do.  Explain the paradox to us from your perspective.  We need to hear from everybody on this to make a reasonable judgment to aid our own judgments.  Give us some food man.  We want to consider.  Let's look and see who has the best idea for ourselves.  Pony up here.  Or forever hold your peace, that's your choice too.  I'm trying to encourage a discussion that resolves the issue.  I don't like to deal with problems indefinitely if I don't have to, I like to resolve things if I can! Wouldn't all of us want this?   Absolutely!  If you don't resolve problems; that suspends you in a space.  You know that!  I know you do.   You can't grow until you aim to move out of that space, even if that doesn't ever come to fruition.  That hope alone is currency for you.  

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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1 minute ago, Joseph Maynor said:


But you take yourself seriously too.  All of us do.  Explain the paradox to us from your perspective.  We need to hear from everybody on this to make a reasonable judgment to aid our own judgments.  Give us some food man.

I take not taking myself seriously serious.  Great comics are serious as hell about comedy.  In truth i am laughing at myself constantly.  "Selves" are absurd!  Any "self" cant help but be hilarious when looked at.

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Imo, any time you have the option to take something personally and become defensive, or see the humor and not take it personally, the second is far more rewarding.  Its like magic, it difuses everything.  Like in the 4 agreements, never take anything personally.  If you have a bogus opinion or idea about something, that opinion isnt "you" its just something you picked up at some point, its changeable.  

Edited by arjuna
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29 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:


But you take yourself seriously too.  All of us do.  Explain the paradox to us from your perspective.  We need to hear from everybody on this to make a reasonable judgment to aid our own judgments.  Give us some food man.  We want to consider.  Let's look and see who has the best idea for ourselves.  Pony up here.  Or forever hold your peace, that's your choice too.  I'm trying to encourage a discussion that resolves the issue.  I don't like to deal with problems indefinitely if I don't have to, I like to resolve things if I can! Wouldn't all of us want this?   Absolutely!  If you don't resolve problems; that suspends you in a space.  You know that!  I know you do.   You can't grow until you aim to move out of` that space, even if that doesn't ever come to fruition.  That hope alone is currency for you.  

Lol....you edited this after i responded!

That doesnt seem fair....

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30 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:


I don't like to deal with problems indefinitely if I don't have to, I like to resolve things if I can! Wouldn't all of us want this?   Absolutely!  If you don't resolve problems; that suspends you in a space.  You know that!  I know you do.   You can't grow until you aim to move outhat space, even if that doesn't ever come to fruition.  

There are no resolutions.  Ego wants resolutions.  Thats why laughter is the preferable response. 

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3 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

How does this calculus work for you? 


Not-Knowing.
It certainly has nothing to do with calculating anything. ☺️

🤍

 

3 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

When is laughing at yourself good and when is it foolish?


The Laughter be-s me. There isn’t a choice. 
There is no hard lines to be drawn,

Just trust Feeling.

 

Ten thousand tears,

One Belly Laugh.

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We all know certain people (maybe ourself) that never laugh at themselves and never use self-deprecating humor.  These people take themselves very seriously.  But they laugh at others though.  Notice these people usually laugh at others or mock others.  It’s like a fear of being seen as small, weak, or stupid.  I have no problem laughing at myself with others.  But I don’t like to laugh at myself when I can tell the person laughing at me never laughs at themself.  That feels like bullying to me.  I might still laugh but I can feel the dig and shame that came with that at my expense only.  It’s the difference between being laughed with and being laughed at.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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On 12/17/2022 at 10:18 PM, Joseph Maynor said:

How does this calculus work for you?  If you want to give a universal or one-sized-fits-all claim, state it here so we can all consider it out in the open.  When is laughing at yourself good and when is it foolish?  

I like this topic so I wish to respond you.

To me laughter at oneself is good when you realize as Oogway puts it, there are no accidents. Like when you leave the grocery bag at the store but walk out with the change and receipt 😁 i dont get jokes tbh, some make sense and the nonsensical ones dont have to.

idk about a 1-sized-fits-all but to deem laughter good or foolish, it's subjective in general.. if you find something funny that's just basically it.

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On 12/18/2022 at 6:16 AM, Joseph Maynor said:

We all know certain people (maybe ourself) that never laugh at themselves and never use self-deprecating humor.  These people take themselves very seriously.  But they laugh at others though.  Notice these people usually laugh at others or mock others.  It’s like a fear of being seen as small, weak, or stupid.  I have no problem laughing at myself with others.  But I don’t like to laugh at myself when I can tell the person laughing at me never laughs at themself.  That feels like bullying to me.  I might still laugh but I can feel the dig and shame that came with that at my expense only.  It’s the difference between being laughed with and being laughed at.

I wouldn't say never, bro. Some of the most serious ppl in life do have a funny bone, and arent really the mean sort. if they are laughing at someone.. it's possible to take it less personally, or allow it to get to you if you arent amused either. 

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You're fine to laugh at me, all that means is you're no friend of mine, at least not a good one.   In that case, you're just another member of the public that has the right to laugh at whatever you want to.  A friend, however, is a special kind of relation where we help each other and save each other's ego -- or challenge it, but only if we see an issue creating a potentially harmful situation down the road.  A friend has love and care for who they support.  Not an abstract phony love, but a real sense of care and protection.  I have the right to direct my attention away from those who laugh at me too.  And I have the choice to minimize this by straightening up and flying right myself.  We don't laugh at people we realize we can learn from usually.  We laugh at people we think are assholes or limited in some way causing harm to themselves and others.  We laugh at people we think are beneath us or that are hindering us and others where we see they are foolish in a way they don't yet see (from our perspective).  I think the more right you're doing in the sense of Karma the less blowback you're gonna get generally speaking.  If you disagree with me on this, let's have a discussion.  There's a way to do things that's communication forward where you can present almost any argument in a safe and diplomatic way where only the real assholes or limited people or otherwise divergent people from your perspective will take issue with.  People will feel your spirituality and not want to attack you.  You're not going to murder a teddy bear usually.  The thought never crossed your mind.  Nobody ever thought that.  Blowback comes from Karma where the feeling is that this person, whatever good things they have, needs further correction and is a kind of love.  If you understand how Karma works you'll see it.  Karma is about education -- it's provocative!  As it should be.  Otherwise you would have no drive to improve yourself and others.  Life is about learning and growing.  Take all adversity as a loving gesture to mature yourself and do better.  It's all good even when it's bad.  Life presents a challenge to us to keep us occupied throughout, otherwise we might die of boredom in the waiting room of death.

Edited by Joseph Maynor
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