anattadroid

Yes you may have attached yourself to these fears of feeling shame and powerlessness kinds of emotions as something 'personal' and that's why they are constantly reappearing, you keep mistaking them as something 'wrong' that needs to be fixed or changed and what does is has your mind worry endlessly about how to fix them and avoid them or get rid of them instead of just remaining mindful, accepting everything as it arises, facing it as it comes up and discarding it by not reacting, every single time, each time It's an old script, an old program that when you keep buying into it has you going on believing it to be a real true story about yourself because it feels so real and it is real to the extent you get entangeled, I suggest bringing metta towards yourself in the case of radically allowing yourself to feel these things and nurturing yourself but not in the case to get rid of but to hold a space of allowing reality to be the way it arises. Tara Brachs RAIN is a pretty effective technique you can practice if that helps.

Infact the very fear of getting identified with discordant thoughts is just itself another thought that you can let go of and return to the attitude of safety, security and enjoyment of whatever it is you're experiencing in this here and now. The feeling of being stuck and powerless is because you are mistaking aversion with mindfulness to what is arising in your experience and that is creating an anxious pattern you're now experiencing.