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Omelette

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  1. Harmful agriculture practices are bad too, there's less we can do about that. In Sri Lanka they banned fertilizer, I'm sure this made it healthier for all the animals living in the area, especially small ones like mice. That being said, the ban on fertilizer absolutely fucked up their harvest and resulted in an already poor and suffering country becoming even poorer, I think they ended up reversing it? What's your point here? To a degree we have a right to change the environment around us IMO, and we will no matter what, just like the mouse will fuck up my shelter without any regard for how it effects me and my family. What is the alternative if all farms were removed and went to nothing? What would we eat? I love animals but I will take destruction of their habitat over human starvation any day, just because of the massively negative effects that would come from mass starvation. I don't base my dietary choices simply on reducing harm, I factor in how it settles in my stomach, price, nutrition, flavor, etc. The fact is, Western society will never adapt to eating insects, at least in the next century. It will take a lot of reconditioning for this to become more normal here. Personally, I have tried some insects like crickets, but never experimented with them as a main source of protein. I am interested in the nutritional profile of some of these insects and if eating them as a main protein is realistic and sustainable for me, but as of now it's not something I would try. Regardless, I'm sure we will still need to ingest vegetables to get all the vitamins, mineral, micro nutrient that are not available in meats and insect. Do you only eat insects as a protein? If you don't, but you truly believe what you wrote above, they are the most nutritious and good for the planet, why would you ever not be eating only insects? You'd have to be crazy to believe that insects are incredibly nutritious and good for the planet, plus cheap, but not be eating them, why ever eat another protein (convenience?)? What sort of meals can you realistically even make with the insects easily available for purchase in the West?
  2. Vegetarian or vegan? Because the dairy industry is worse than the meat industry in terms of the animal's perspective imo, Born-> (Forcibly? ) Impregranated -> your baby taken away -> painfully milked and awful living condition for almost decade -> killed v.s. Born-> awful living conditions for 2 years -> killed Is it morally bad to consume another animal? Is it equally morally bad to eat any animal? Surely eating a gorilla is morally worse than eating a worm What about hunting and eating what you hunt? In addition, do you feel the same about hunting for Indigenous groups who have respected and efficiently utilized the animals they kill? If so, at what point does their culture determine the validity of their meat eating? Could an Englishman say that their culture goes back half a century eating bacon, so it is their right to eat it? (I don't eat meat either BTW, I'm not asking these questions to be argumentative or disprove your vegetarianism, rather sort of asking myself the same questions too as I post them)
  3. If the goal is to feel good, is that the way though? So I shouldn't do positive thinking in order to try to get more happiness or good feelings? If I do positive thinking it should only be for it's own sake and not for some future expectation? Do you mean let go of these beliefs to get more love, or the reason to let go is love? As a sort of constant practice to do, in every day life after meditating and stuff, I thought thinking positive/ unconditional accepting was something that was good to do? Other ones like for instance maybe thinking about and reminding yourself to be aware of the breath... are any of these recommended to do?
  4. @Phil Is there ever a reason to not focus on good feeling thoughts/love? Reason is used strangely here, implying like there is some definitive place or goal to get to I guess I mean reason as in overall well being, so good feelings but also physical specific things The experience. This ties to one of my fears... I fear if I focus so much on these good feelings, other parts of my life will start to be neglected. Like I will feel so good I quit my job, leave my family, and join a commune where we play the drum circle together 🤣 I'm exaggerating here but the general idea is that: If my main priority is focus on love, not focus on stuff like fearing for family safety, fearing for starvation and losing shelter, fear of being attacked if I go to the wrong areas... fear for my shadow in case it's a monster Will I become vulnerable? I don't want stuff to hurt me... Is fear what stops me from jumping off a building? No. Is fear what makes me wear a seat belt while driving? Hmm, more tricky. Is it fear of crashing, or love for my body that I hope to protect it? I don't know Someone who can't swim might fear pools? Is this fear helping them then? If they had no fear and walked casually around pools, they might slip and fall in! So the fear must be helping them? If they had no fear, maybe they learn how to swim? Or maybe they acknowledge their limits and still move cautiously around the pool, but just don't feel the negative feeling of fear Do you wear a seat belt? If you do, then why? Do/would you make your children (or just any person you are responsible for) wear one? Would the reason be different from why you do or don't? My belief is: FEAR STOPS BAD STUFF FROM HAPPENING, SO KEEP DOING IT * * * Apart from fear and in more relaxed, "normal" situations, does this hold true too, that there is no reason to not focus on good feeling? I found myself walking somewhere I didn't want to go, and I decide to start thinking about what I love. But from "scanning" my body I felt pretty bad and can't find anywhere that feels good right now. I looked at my surroundings and recite some times "I love the sidewalk" "I love the ability to walk" etc. but didn't "feel it". There's also the one who wants to use love because they feel bad and think that by thinking "I love ___" will get them somewhere where they feel good. As in "How many more times do I have to say this love bullshit before I feel great/ I get stuff" Should I still do this love? even if I don't feel it, if everything feels shit even reciting the words will help? I see some teachings say that I should recite it regardless, and it feels bad just because it is so foreign to me still. Essentially keep faith and keep loving and it will pay off?
  5. I believe getting or doing something is the source of the good feeling. i.e. I can feel content, but still want to improve my physical fitness. This must be because I think it will feel good when I do I meditate and feel good and the day goes better. This means the act of meditation is a source of good feeling I quit an addiction, but still have bad days. Do I need to quit my other addictions to finally feel good, or should I just go back to the addiction since I feel bad anyways? This is the sort of line of thinking I mean, as though these events cause the good feeling It is all done in pursuit of the good feeling, I think of everything I want, and if it felt awful how I wouldn't want it. Even the most selfless things, imagine my dream was to open an orphanage and save kids. I only want that for the good feeling, it would feel good if they were helped. If something like abuse happened by an employee in it, I would feel responsible for it and feel bad. Yes, that's what I mean. I guess it is, in a way. I also want people to like me because I think that will lead to future benefits whether it be emotionally, socially, financially, etc. I only want to create if it feels good while creating Sometimes I get so discouraged, like how long will this take, how can I expect to create this when I failed my whole life, it's not gonna work to manifest this for me, etc. it feels bad to think this and makes me lose hope I also don't know if I still would want to create or change anything if I was truly happy and feeling good. What would be the purpose? But then thoughts come up about whether or not it's really possible if I can get it I'm interpreting this like you're telling a homeless guy to think about good feeling thoughts of his house and he will get one Really I don't think this would be the craziest thing, but I imagine a chain of action taken, he has to clean himself up, get a job, etc. and his positive thinking inspired that. Do I need to take action too or can I just sort of continue life as normally with the addition of thinking what I want. If I want a large pizza can I just think about it today and not order it, and maybe a friend invites me over and gets pizza, or a delivery goes to wrong house and gives me a pizza by accident.. If so, what happens when I wanted pizza tonight so deeply and it never came? I never truly wanted it? I was doing something wrong? Or I still have to get up and drive to the pizza place? I don't want good feeling thoughts if I never get what I want, I feel like I'm being taunted or teased by stuff I will never get, like a carrot on a stick, if I do this too long To be honest it feels better thinking about getting what I want. Especially for things like social skills, I don't want to put in effort for stuff that should just be natural. I don't want to wait for so long, I just want to feel good now. I don't know. Which one comes first? I think the thought is first, and the feeling is indicating the thought is not aligned? Why is there sometimes a buffer between this? Like a depressed person think "I love myself" won't instantaneously make them feel good Yes, they both do
  6. I'm only wanting these things because I think it will feel good, instead maybe I can go directly to the feel good and everything resolves its self ( or maybe I will find there is no need to resolve anything?) It is very hard for me to disassociate object/concept/state with good feelings, right now I think I wouldn't care if I felt good 24/7 if I had no chance of getting what I want Not great because it makes me wonder what their perception of me is, and makes me want to be perceived in a certain way by them. Not great because I then want to change reality to get this way, in hopes of being able to reach the good feelings. I don't know, I think so. I guess based on what I've read here I could say that there is a pattern of "insecure" thinking, and there are feelings associated like worry and doubt. Yet also, I see insecurity on the emotional scale, so I guess it is an emotion? Why, it's because I think life is not going my way and I'm not getting what I want. So thoughts about how I must not be good enough in some way arise with the feeling. I don't know if feeling causes thought, thought causes feeling, or they both come up at the same time. Yes, I don't know why or what purpose it serves, same for insecurity. Worry comes up when I think "I messed up last time, so I'm gonna mess up again", "I can't do this", "People will laugh at me because of ___" I can relate to this too. I also can relate to the opposite, where after not doing stuff like standing up then I act so defensive and will over react to minor things because I bottled up emotions. What happens if you stop controlling myself? I think when I control myself too much is when I have problems, I get awkward and analyze everything. But if I stop trying to control and just "go with the flow" and say whatever it usually works better and is less stressful for me. What is superego, like the part of me that says right/wrong morally? Or in general maybe (like I say the food I like is right, the food I dislike is wrong, just what controls preference?) I tried some of the loving kindness meditation which was kind of like this, and it felt good 😁
  7. You know what I mean though; but your comment makes me think what does this look like, what does it mean to receive someones approval or be liked. How do I demonstrate I approve of or like others? There is not really anything tangible that makes it that, it is just a mental distinction ("This person likes me", "This person is a stranger", "This person doesn't like me"). Someone can act nicely to try to manipulate you, someone could act rude because of personal circumstances but actually want the best for you, etc. No. If I was the most suave and confident man in the world 🤠😎 but would be unhappy, I wouldn't want it. My initial thought is no to be honest. But recalling past experiences of what I can only describe as bliss/ infinite love, literally nothing at all seemed to matter, including right or wrong. So in reality, I would choose bliss, yet thought says it is inaccessible now. I don't know why I put conditions on this feeling though, and it seems to be done unconsciously and/or subconsciously So rather than target specific area (Get better eye contact, get more confident) focus more big picture you think? I remember forcing myself to get better at these things, and I really would get better, but it still felt bad and unnatural, even if others perceive me as how I thought I would like. Sometimes I would have people describe me the complete opposite as I felt, they would use words like confident, intimidating, attractive, funny, when I felt like an insecure boy trying to put on a mask so people will like me. So instead I think self love, putting feeling first, putting more "faith" in these practices like sticking to meditation and journal, don't worry about these 3d manifestations so much and they will come along when it's time? Really? I think that it's possible through spirituality. Even without it, I think a lot of people have gone "against the grain" of society to make big changes. One could maybe say that people make these daring choices to fight for a certain viewpoint (civil right, lgbtq, women right, secularism) out of hopes to be accepted by majority of society, just because it is so difficult to live as an outcast. Yes, sometimes you can even tell when someone is desperate for approval, and usually it makes a feeling of repulsion for some reason. Or just, you already liked them, so them being approval seeking doesn't change anything. What are your methods you've found to get to this state? Do you find there is anything apart from "normal" spirituality like meditation that makes you feel more socially calibrated?
  8. What does it mean to be approval seeking? I experience this when interacting with others when I care more about how they will react to me, than how I feel. I want others to like me, if they do, that means I am doing something right. I need to find out what it was that I was doing right and repeat it, or else I will lose "it" (whatever it is that caused me to be liked). If others treat me badly, it's because I'm wrong... either because something is wrong with me fundamentally, or because I am simply not confident enough to stop others from doing this. This seems to be the pattern behind approval seeking Fear of being judged Fear of ostracization Fear of rejection Fear of eye contact Wanting to be liked Belief of not being enough, in terms of confidence, charisma What can be done about these beliefs. How does one stop being approval seeking?
  9. At the time I didn't. Writing it helped to clarify what I actually want now. I initially thought, "It's the body that's afraid of course", but the body is not afraid, there is a thought about an I being the body and that I being afraid on behalf of the body. So strange 🤣 Thank you
  10. The main reason I thought of bringing it up was because it seems unreal to me in the first place, yet it sounds enjoyable.It's like if I was the world's best table tennis player, do I want this from the bottom of my heart? No. But if I woke up tomorrow and it was true, I think I would like it more than dislike it. I'm wondering what are these restrictions or limitations on the dream board? For someone like her husband, he sees her every day, of course this will happen if it is on his dream board. What if an old lover from college who still occasionally runs into her for whatever reason puts it down, is it possible? What about someone from an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon, imagine he sees a picture of her and wants to date her? How do I know if I I don't want it, or I'm just anxious about it? I think I'd like to go hiking but I am afraid of being attacked by a junkie on the trail. Can a specific person go on the dream board? Can personality traits like confidence, humor, extroversion be put on the dream board? Can abstractions like safety (i.e. safety from random events like being a crime victim, natural disasters, car crash) go on the dream board? What behavior should I apply it to? Thinking?
  11. I want to take the Finnish PM on a date I guess science would say that some mixture of chemicals will be released from gaining validation, sexual stimulation, that feel pleasurable? From the thought of wanting, I don't know how feeling comes from it. It seems like feeling is always here, as opposed to sensation on the physical body. Does feeling come from thought? Idk I don't think so but they feel related. Same thought feels different in different moments The thought feels bad, sad, disappointing, uncomfortable. I think it feels like this because I think I am limited, certain experiences will elude me because of things like environmental factors. and thinking that feels the same, bad, etc. Thinking yes I can, it's all coming true, etc. feels better. Then I think how unrealistic it is, that it wont happen, setting myself up for disappointment, etc. which feels bad. Think it is not grounded in reality to hold such improbable and lofty goals like not only meeting a world leader and being able to speak personally, but having her choose me over her husband as well. I think it is delusional and arrogant for me to believe such things; certainly it is possible but the stars would have to align. Also feels blame,doubt,disappoint,worry,jealous,unworthiness when thinking that.
  12. What I want feels good, the fact that I will never get it doesn't. Of course, when I say "the fact" it's not really the case, there is always a possibility, it's just some things I know will not happen. If I want to take the Finnish PM Sanna Marin out on a date and afterwards bring her back to my place, which I truly and genuinely do want to, I know it will never happen. Not only is she married, but it's incredibly unlikely that our paths cross any time in the next few years, and even if we do she may just not be interested in me. This feels awful that I have these desires that will never ever be fulfilled. This was a pretty bizarre example but I feel the same for even much more achievable things, just think of the pretty girl walking down the street that I'll never see again but desire to connect with. I want this but it doesn't feel good. I will never get this so I don't know why it is desired. It's why sometimes a complete elimination of sexuality sounds appealing to me, such as castration. Why though? Why can I get other things that I want without self love? And I see friends with depression, poor hygiene, etc,. clearly not self loving and still having a more fruitful dating life. Tonight I will turn down another invitation to join a group going out to drink. I will say I have too much work, which is true, but it's definitely possible to allocate my time more efficiently and still have time to go out drinking if I want to. My thoughts are : "I don't want to go with ____ (some girls)" (partially because I dislike their personality but more so just from the aversion I've been talking about. Thinking logically if my goal is to meet women then it will probably be easier with the social approval from already being around other women), " Why would I waste my time and money, what am I going to get out of it?". How do I align these thoughts with feeling? I can sort of drop the thought by just focusing on anything else, but nothing changed, next time I get an invitation I still feel the same. I don't know what you mean by the bottom line there, that the relationship with my mother is the source of this? I have a better than average relationship with my mother, so I don't think it's that. It's like I'm mentally stuck on this. If I wake up tomorrow with 5 dates lined up, I don't have any expectation of everlasting happiness, I just don't understand why it isn't coming. Why are all these methods, verging from the most "typical"/"non-spiritual" advice possible, to stuff borderlining on schizophrenia, none work. If I book a trip to Portugal, I don't expect my life to change drastically, I just think it is cool and fun. If it gets cancelled I will be sad but move on. I book the trip again and it gets cancelled again, now I'm kind of fed up, but again it's fine, I have an idea and will do it better next time. Now I book the trip with a group, we all get tickets together, and on the day we leave my ticket is somehow missing. This is ridiculous now, how is mine the only one lost? Fuck it, I still want to go to Portugal. I'm tired of messing up, I will go to a travel agent. I find a travel agent who organizes the entire trip for me and it seems great. They specialize in Portugal so I know it will be done right this time. I leave and go back to pay another day, but it turns out they became ill and are in the hospital, and all the data is inaccessible for now. So the trip won't be going on. At some point I'm going to say, "FUCK PORTUGAL I HATE YOU SO MUCH PORTUGAL... WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE GET TO GO TO PORTUGAL EXCEPT ME..." I never even wanted to go so badly in the first place, it is just confusing why. Then I say: "It must be my fault, maybe I'm not good enough for Portugal? If I am never allowed to travel then why even live?" Then make up stories like: "I never wanted Portugal anyways, I don't even care about it, the entire country means nothing at all to me. I will never be around Portugal or any Portuguese people for the rest of my life." Where's my ticket? In reality, there has been limited action taken by me in the world to actually move towards this. I have barely spoken to any women in the past year, but I think this is a symptom, not a cause. I've been doing this recently and it seems to work in the sense that stories about feeling bad, down, sad are terminated before going too long, mild discomfort emotions are no longer really feeling like discomfort for now at least. Mine showed up today, I'm excited to make it Can you clarify this please? Like the mechanism of how this is happening? I wake up and feel overwhelmed. I think "I have so much to do today. What if I mess it up, don't perform as well as I want, etc.". I browse social media and emotion drops to disappointment and I think "Why don't I get to be with any of these beautiful women". Then I keep scrolling and see stuff like stories about poor relationships, more pictures of attractive women, etc. Now I feel doubt and think "Wow, so many people get hurt in relationships. I wonder if I can ever commit to one, I will always have to have my guard up." and "I won't ever be in a position to date any of these women anyways. I doubt I'll be successful in dating, I doubt they would actually care about me even if we did date" So what I am wondering is what part did emotion play in this? What was my guidance telling me, to just shut off the phone and do something else?
  13. Thanks bro, yeah I am probably spending so much time thinking rather than just enjoying these events and actually having fun. Sometimes it is tough to get past the belief that it won't be fun, and I look for excuses to why it's not fun. I think the conflict is between me believing there is some sort of objective "way it is" to life... and the thought that my thoughts should accurately reflect it. Versus thinking about what feels good will make it a different way. When I think about what feels good, there is some underlying need for manipulation... I am only trying to feel good to get what I want, and sometimes I would rather get what I want than feel good. It's so painful to me how much I want to be around women. Sometimes I really wish I could feel that attraction towards men, because it seems like gay guys have a lot more sex and casual relationships. I hate men because I feel that males are responsible for much more of the heinous things I see around the world, like violence, sexual abuse, war, slavery, torture. Of course women play a part, but I think a much larger portion of suffering in this world is caused by men. I also use hate sort of recklessly... I would say more, I hold a general negative outlook and cynical view towards humans. The thing is, with men, this plays a much smaller role in my life. The reason why is because I don't want anything from them. Male companionship mainly offers me entertainment which I can do by myself. It is the pain of not having any sort of sex, intimacy, relationships, at all which is why I struggle more with women. It'd be one thing if I lived in a conservative country where premarital sex just didn't happen. Instead, I am in a liberal country and around many women every day. I never had to "try" to make friends... I just do stuff and naturally I meet other guys there that are my friends. I don't experience the same in dating. It pains me that I don't have that magnetic pull that I can just have sexual relationships form naturally. That's why I think being gay sounds easier. And why sometimes I wish I just had no sexual urge at all. I just don't have desire to have sex, cuddle, etc., with a man, I don't really see any problem with doing it. I probably would be doing that now and not posting here 😂 Another part is that I see people around me enjoy this every day. Go out, no anxiety just talking to everyone, having fun with attractive women, being able to have sex or enter a relationship most of the time they want to. I wouldn't say it's common, but there is definitely a portion of men who live like this. I see no common thing between them, all different races, builds, extroversion or introversion, looks, etc. and they don't struggle. So that means I must be the issue. To be honest, it feels like a core rejection of everything that defines me, like something is fundamentally wrong or else I would do better in my dating life. So for instance when I have thoughts about being nervous, how can I express that? Just think "this is the emotion nervous"? It feels easy when there is a good feeling but I get caught in some other ones Okay, this makes sense. Is this like a "practice" that can/should be done at all times if my aim is to reduce suffering? I was thinking about making another one, I'm gonna order a whiteboard. I already know I'm getting everything I want though, it's strange but I feel fairly confident in that, in every area except dating. It is where I feel the least abundance, and I even feel hesitant putting it on my dream board because I didn't get it when I did before. When I first did it, I was mainly looking for validation from women, even more than an actual relationship. But regardless I didn't get any validation either Does this go both ways though? As in, the only reason I even consider feeling into and expressing emotions is for them to go away, as in, I think they are causing the suffering. If I was getting my hand cut off but felt bliss, it would feel like bliss. So, when I feel bad, the bad feeling is responsible for me feeling bad 😂 (it's so strange trying to communicate about what I mean, I don't know if what I'm saying is clear at all)
  14. That's so awesome, I've never heard of aura quartz. It's cool how you had such a strong effect from it. When I read about the stone moldavite I hear similar experiences, people report getting strong sensations just from holding it. Thanks, I've never seen this one either. What do you do with them? Have you ever tried the process of cleansing them and then implanting your intention onto them? Do you think each crystal has a "personality" almost, or the division is mostly based on the actual composition of the stone? (For example, is there more variation between 2 different pieces of aura quartz, or between aura quartz and howlite in general)
  15. Thank you, this makes sense. It's like a self imposed limitation on myself. But how can I let this go, this seems like a much heavier belief, more ingrained. For instance, I think if I go out: None of my "friends" will care if I'm there, no women will like me there. If I drop beliefs about this, like stop caring if either of these are even true, why would I go out? It seems bizarre now when I write it out and can see the beliefs I have... why would I only go out to try to get people to like me? I imagine people not liking me and think why would I even want to be around them then? Or people are indifferent, and likewise why would I want to be around them? What am I supposed to do at a party? I "flow" a lot less now, I used to move around and do stuff a lot more. Now I just have some drinks, a few conversations, be a wallflower for 30 minutes, get bored and leave. I don't know how everyone seems to be enjoying so much... I also have a tendency to avoid interactions with women. I will just end our conversation with them, give them boring answers, etc. I think this is because they are trying to manipulate me, mostly just for attention and boredom. It honestly gets me aggravated when a woman my age interacts with me in real life in a non-professional environment. I don't feel this way in general, only in in-person, recreational conversation. I think since most women do not like me and she is just going to tell me some nonsense for her own amusement, why even interact? I'm tired of "trying" anything... I wish I could turn off my sexuality... I think I would end up regretting something like chemical castration. I just don't want to care at all about dating anymore. I feel more hatred towards men though. The thing is, there is nothing that I think is special that a man can give me, so I literally just don't care so much. If I hate men, get into fights, want to hurt them, it means nothing to me because I do not value them as much as women. Since women are the only ones who can fulfill my intimacy needs it feels much worse to not be with them. Why is it easier for me to literally pull money out of my ass with the dream board, then to put my pee pee inside a woman's pee pee? How is this the one thing on my dream board that I didn't get? It makes me feel resentful, that I'm being "tested by God" or something, that I must not be meant to socialize now. Can expressing just be feeling into the body and taking breaths? How can I express in scenarios like walking down the sidewalk or something where I don't have time to journal or use any physical tools outside to express? This is good, I hope so. I always think of the chances I missed and it doesn't seem like there are more coming, just less so far. The aversion is just stronger than any motivation to go out though. The thought "Maybe just go for a few hours, see if it's fun, who cares" is massively drowned out by the other thoughts I wrote in this thread. And when I go out with a mood like this it is bad regardless. To me, sitting in bed, smoking and maybe having a beer, sounds more enticing than going out with friends. I don't want it to be like this but it just is. I read the synopsis for Yes Man and I wonder what my life would be like if I did that. I just don't know how long I could do it for before I go back to this old mindset, because it is deeply ingrained and taints almost all interactions I have. I don't know what to do, just keep expressing/feeling the emotions until this all goes away?
  16. I feel like I lost the spark in relationships... I have little motivation to form or maintain any relationships. I still enjoy communication and socializing. It's just that these relationships are primarily built on proximity... I can have great conversations daily with someone if we just so happen to see each other for whatever reason. Someone : "You want to come out to ___ tonight?" My thoughts are: "I will most likely have more fun at home" (In many cases this is true, I like alone time) "This person doesn't really care about me at all" (I think this is true as well, of course there is a difference between an acquaintance and a friend you have known for decades. But I find myself mentally accusing both of them of not caring about me) "If I speak to some women there, they won't like me anyways, it will be a waste of time" (I think this is partially true, but I haven't had any intimacy or relationship in so long that I think there is no point in trying/ I think "trying" will repel it anyways/ I've been fine without it for so long, so it doesn't matter, I will just never date again) I feel awkward coming up with excuses to avoid events so much... I would say the three thoughts above are the strongest forces in determining this. I think I will have a bad time talking to women, so I will just avoid mixed-gender events a lot of the time. I am almost giving up on having any relationships or sex. Sometimes I wish I was gay because I think it's so much easier for me to understand men versus women... of course it's not a choice, so I try to just repress my attraction to women instead because it feels fruitless. I still avoid the single gender events because of the first two thoughts, that these people aren't even my friends, and I won't have fun. I feel like apart from familial bond, there is no incentive to form any relationships. I still do simply for ease of life, it makes it easier to get what I want with a network of connections. Why am I posting this, what is the issue if I just don't want to interact? - FEAR OF MISSING OUT I fear that as I get older there will be less and less opportunities if I do want to go out and be social. I am turning down stuff every week and questioning if that is the right choice. -FEAR OF FALLING BEHIND I fear that my social skills are declining, I will never find a partner that I think is worth spending my life with, and I won't even find someone for a casual and fun relationship. How can I get excited for socializing and putting myself out there? Why is there so much resistance to this?
  17. What about the thought "I love myself", it is still based on the same premise right, that there are two me? But this doesn't feel as discordant Unrelated but I'm also curious on how to desire without a focus on lack? It seems like I would only desire something if I don't have it, if I already have it I am appreciating it?
  18. What does separate self mean and how does that belief go away? Why is it desirable for this belief to go away, is there less/no more suffering then? I don't understand
  19. So, one is free to create what I perceive as misery or suffering, and I am free to create what I want? I suppose it wouldn't be "fair" if I could force them to act according to my own moral values. True, moping around about it helps no one and creates suffering in my own experience. I guess if I care so much about these topics and want to act on them, it would be most effective to do it from a place where I feel great and inspired rather than depressed anyways. I personally don't value marriage much and don't really care if someone wants to or not. I just bring that up because in Indian society marriage is a lot more significant and means much more, divorce is much rarer, etc. Many would question why someone isn't married after a certain age, it is the similar in the West, but a to a much bigger degree in India. For both men and women. One will lose out on some "benefits" of society without it, tangible like wealth and security, and intangible like respect and pride from family. Due to this, I think most Indians plan or desire marriage. Regardless it is besides the main point I wanted to get at True, I did not consider this. However, I think Rosa Parks is an anomaly, hence why we remember her. I wonder why people suffer needlessly though, with no positive outcome. In the example of the sex slave, consider someone sold in their preteens, abused for decades, then dies of AIDS with no one by her side and is forgotten, with nothing "good" coming from it. Why did she have to suffer like this? I suppose it is my own thought believing she is suffering and then causing me suffering. But I think most people would not like this situation, I know I wouldn't want to be in it. Thank you for this. It is easy for me to say this logically, but I don't notice all the many times I do this without even noticing. Do you think the idea of "acting as if you already had it" is useful? Live my life as if I had my Lamborghini, how am I expecting to think and feel after I have it? Fair point, I think it would be nonsense if I have some special powers others don't simply because I watch more Esther Hicks than them 😂
  20. @Lester Retsel Do you have any suggested resources for sigils? Also, do you ever find that it is possibly "moving backwards"/ in conflict with your spirituality? As in, many spiritual doctrines preach the removal of earthly desires, but magic is generally used to get or achieve something? i.e. If you want money, you can sit and meditate until the desire is lost, or you can do "effort" of magic to achieve this but potentially prolong suffering?
  21. I have tried to analyze it, I came to the possibly false conclusion that there is the sensation and then my own interpretations. I will try to spend more time analyzing this. Like how a cow would have a physical reaction (moving away, crying out in pain) from being branded with hot iron, the body would move to avoid this sensation. Even though this cow presumably does not have an ego and does not think like humans do. If pain is a thought, even the sensation can be seen through? As in, one could have their body cut but feel nothing/it won't hurt?
  22. It seems like stuff is just happening all the same, minus a narrator. I suppose you can't suffer without thought, but can still feel sensation of pain.
  23. What are some amazing things you have created/manifested with sigils? Do you believe in entities like ghost, demons, angels, gods like in Hinduism, thought forms? When you read tarot, where do you think the answers are coming from? Your own intuition, God, some spirit, something else? Reading a little bit on Gnosticism, it seems to me like Christianity except with stronger and scarier bad guys. I only bring it up because of the use of the word demiurge, but I'm not sure if this is the context you are hoping to use it in. If you are Gnostic, I'm wondering what makes you choose/find this religion?
  24. Isn't the one who chooses to let go of that thought, self/ego? I suppose ego is just more thought, and the idea of a me letting it go is a thought. In the moment it feels intuitive that I can choose to let go or not, but in thinking it seems that there is an I that takes ownership of the letting go.
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